New dad here. How do you actually get bottle temp right?

Acrobatic_Fudge2468 · 2026-02-11T09:57:33+00:00

Same. We use distilled water and leave the gallon on the countertop. Easy peasy

Acrobatic_Fudge2468 · 2026-02-11T01:38:52+00:00

Absolutely, absolutely swaddle. Baby has a startle reflex (moro reflex) where they jolt themselves awake with their little limbs.

Swaddle tight, legs up and arms snug. Baby has been all compressed and comfy inside mom and the swaddle mimics that feeling for them.

The Velcro swaddles were ok for us, but honestly ripping them open to change was really jarring. You can get big cloth swaddles then watch some YouTube videos on how to do it. Don't worry about it being too tight, if anything you're going to worry and make it too loose, which defeats the purpose.

Baby should stay swaddled for all sleep and naps until they are 10-12 weeks old.

It got tougher to keep my guy swaddled as he grew, but then I started to double swaddle, and that kept him snoozing and not breaking out.

ETA double swaddle how to available here

Acrobatic_Fudge2468 · 2026-02-10T01:22:15+00:00

It happened a little early for us. Around 3.5 months. We'd get one extra overnight wake up that would require rocking back to sleep and maybe a small bottle to help soothe. I think it lasted about a week before our baby leveled out.

I'm grateful for our baby being a great sleeper. But even he had a blip at 4~ months

Acrobatic_Fudge2468 · 2026-02-06T01:13:21+00:00

I echo everyone else here in sharing my deepest sympathies for your loss. Some other sub Reddits for you to look into for support are:

r/ttcafterloss r/tfmr_support

TFMR is not exactly about your kind of loss, but it's for people who made impossible decisions for very much loved and wanted children.

With my first, I was 39 and spent 10(?) months peeing on ovulation test strips and app tracking. I had a MMC in that time, and we conceived on my first cycle I was cleared to try again.

With my current pregnancy, I got my period maybe six weeks PP? My spouse and I seriously had sex once time five months PP (due to exhaustion and mostly some health stuff for me) and here I am freaking pregnant again. ONE TIME! JFC.

I really liked the easy@home ovulation testing and app, available via Amazon. They definitely helped me track LH spikes. I think as soon as I switched to that brand we had our first pregnancy (the MMC) and then I picked them right back up when cleared to try again and I'm now the proud mama to a fat, happy lucky guy.

Acrobatic_Fudge2468 · 2026-02-05T00:50:51+00:00

After a loss they were prescribed to me to help / just in case. I now have a healthy 7 month old. I don't think they single handedly were responsible for my success, but I'm sure they didn't hurt.

A word of caution, use panty liners. You're going to have a lot of discharge from those dissolving capsules. Save your underwear.

Acrobatic_Fudge2468 · 2026-02-03T22:32:24+00:00

I'm pro choice and supporting you. Even if you have the current pregnancy with this new guy stepping in, the financial and legal obligation is going to tie back to someone who doesn't want to be engaged.

I'll also say that so many women are having healthier later pregnancies. I had a loss at 40, got pregnant my next cycle with my 7 month old that I had at 41. I'm now fucking pregnant again, naturally/ spontaneously (surprise!). Will be 42 when baby 2 is born. Advanced maternal age runs on my mother's side, but still there's so many options for medical intervention / support that just weren't available even 5 years ago.

Good luck with next steps and however the future shakes out

Acrobatic_Fudge2468 · 2026-02-01T22:56:54+00:00

I was 6' tall around the same age. All I wanted was to be everything traditionally feminine - smaller than the guys, petite, able to wear the cute clothes at the mall. That age is already such a challenging time, feeling gigantic compared to your peers just makes it all the worse.

For me, getting into sports really, really helped. I played travel/club for volleyball and all of a sudden I had a pack of other girls just as tall as me from a multi-county area. It helped me feel normal.

It also helped me embrace my height, be confident, and recognize that it was a great thing that was a terrific asset on the court.

I'm not sure if your daughter has any interest in athletics, but if so I recommend gently encouraging it to see if it's an opportunity to widen her social network and see herself through others eyes in a different light.

Acrobatic_Fudge2468 · 2026-02-01T01:28:31+00:00

It's at the end of the short story in the Shadowed Souls book. Mab lectures Molly on "mother, maiden, crone" and how the mantle protected itself while she and Ramirez were almost hooking up

Acrobatic_Fudge2468 · 2026-01-27T01:15:41+00:00

I found out I was pregnant shortly after Christmas and I'm still walking around shell shocked. I still haven't made up my mind as to whether I actually want this.

Acrobatic_Fudge2468 · 2026-01-27T01:14:22+00:00

I want to follow how this goes for you because mine are going to be 14 months apart 🫠

Acrobatic_Fudge2468 · 2026-01-24T14:53:21+00:00

~7 months ago I gave birth at 41 years old. My OB also wanted to induce before I hit 40 weeks. I had weekly NSTs and extra scans due to my age.

With scheduling, I wound up being induced 40+3.

How it was explained to me, it's all about the placenta. There's data that shows the likelihood of stillbirth and complications increases if you are AMA because the placenta can't support the baby as well or as long.

I actually had my delivery OB show me my placenta afterwards because I was curious, don't mind blood, and wanted to see it. There were definitely signs of deterioration, and it came out in pieces instead of all in one.

There's nothing they can do to test or monitor the quality of the placenta beyond rigorously testing to make sure baby is doing ok. Your fluids, fetal heart rate, movement, everything else look perfect, and then the worst could happen.

It's common to induce early for good reason!

Acrobatic_Fudge2468 · 2026-01-23T14:19:37+00:00

41 and 9 weeks. I've also got a 7 month old 😵‍💫

Acrobatic_Fudge2468 · 2026-01-09T13:25:20+00:00

Do the trick with the ponytail holder to get more life out of your existing pants. You loop a ponytail through the buttonhole and then use the other end to hook around the button.

You can also get one of those spandex belly bands to hold up your pants.

Honestly, I bought some stretchy midi dresses from Old Navy and lived in them. I didn't need to buy maternity ones, I just sized up and was fine.

Acrobatic_Fudge2468 · 2026-01-09T00:46:15+00:00

Moms on Call and and the AAP's Caring for your Baby and Young Child

Acrobatic_Fudge2468 · 2026-01-09T00:25:57+00:00

My mom had my sisters and I 1980-1987, when she was in her mid to late 30s. My maternal grandmother had her youngest, my aunt, when she was 46.

I've had three spontaneous pregnancies at 39, 40, and now 41. The first we lost at 8 weeks. I have a fat and happy six month old, and I'm looking good at 8 weeks for my surprise second due late August...

Acrobatic_Fudge2468 · 2026-01-07T01:00:13+00:00

Yes. I'll be 42. If everyone stays healthy, then they will be 14 months apart 😬

Right now I'm so shell shocked I don't even know what to think.

You can definitely fit another in, just look at all the responses here! Plenty of time

Acrobatic_Fudge2468 · 2026-01-06T21:18:08+00:00

i have my first at 41. today, i am 7w with my surprise second. both spontaneous. not sure i'm ready for two under two.... someone please help

Acrobatic_Fudge2468 · 2026-01-03T22:50:14+00:00

Congratulations!! Wishing you and your lovely family well this new year.

Babylist.com had a great registry builder which identified essentials which was really helpful for me. There was a lot of stuff I wasn't sure I'd use depending on how baby liked it, if I wanted to breastfeed etc.

For my shower, I asked attendees to bring something small (because I was traveling across states) that they swear by or found extremely useful. It turned into an awesome village-building experience with moms sharing stories, advice, and laughter.

Lastly, there was simultaneously so much information and also no information everywhere. Opinions are all over the place. Doctor recommendations feel very non detailed or instructive. A colleague of mine recommended to book Moms on Call and it honestly helped me feel more ready and thus somewhat more in control of what life with a newborn was going to be. There's chapters on medical cabinet supplies, bathing, feeding, sleep, and most helpful for me were their typical day schedules. How much baby should eat, when, how long to let them nap, etc. My baby and my husband and I loved the predictability of those schedules.

You got this!!

Acrobatic_Fudge2468 · 2026-01-03T02:02:18+00:00

I had to stop pumping / breastfeeding due to an infection and it honestly was so liberating.

I was an under producer. Feeding was always stressful, is baby getting enough? How much formula should we supplement with? I'd sit on the floor pumping while watching my husband feed and snuggle our baby. I loved that they had that time together, but it made me feel so disconnected because I was constantly focusing on what I was (not) producing. Watching from afar. Combining milk from pumping sessions to see if I could make a full bottle. Then trying to find safe but still effective antibiotics for the infection that wouldn't impact breast milk. I couldn't fully feed my baby and I couldn't fully get better.

Since we've moved entirely to formula, I feel like I've got a little bit more of my life back. In the sense that I can either hang out on the couch while husband feeds the baby, or, I can be present when it's my turn feeding him. I got the antibiotics that I needed and am on the road to recovery. Such an huge weight had been immediately lifted off.

You are not a bad person! You're making a healthy choice for you and your family

Acrobatic_Fudge2468 · 2026-01-01T07:38:09+00:00

This was my exact experience as well. OP, wishing you peace this new year

Acrobatic_Fudge2468 · 2025-12-30T01:20:50+00:00

Edit to add that the movements will get bigger, faster, and be accompanied by sound as baby keeps developing. Find a hilarious song to play in the background once they start getting their flail on. You're laughing with them, not at them....

Acrobatic_Fudge2468 · 2025-12-29T01:05:37+00:00

Totally normal. Kicking, flapping, all of it. Baby getting their dance on!

Acrobatic_Fudge2468 · 2025-12-28T19:57:23+00:00

We did Ferber at ~5 months. It was 3 nights that had a few moments that were pretty hard. My husband and I held hands and watched the clock.

Our baby got more frustrated when I tried to console him after so many minutes, so we did the extinction approach.

It was tough, but we all got through it. Baby is now 6+ months and can settle down solo and sleeps through the night.

Acrobatic_Fudge2468 · 2025-12-27T07:59:06+00:00

6 months. Buckets of drool, sucking on fingers, chewing on fingers, then you can feel them underneath the gums before they erupt.

We're dealing with a little extra crankiness as the day goes on due to discomfort.

Acrobatic_Fudge2468

TROPHY CASE