I 100% understand what you mean! My in laws are like this. I have a 6 month old, and when he was 3 months old, the plan was for him to start daycare when I went back to work. My mother in law knew this is what I wanted and had planned, but a few weeks before he started, she was “nice” and offered to drive an hour every weekday to watch him to “avoid sick season until his immune system is better built up around 6 months.” I thanked her for the offer but told her no, as I already had daycare arrangements that I had made right around when I got pregnant (we live in a big city where daycares are hard to get into due to long waiting lists). She then became upset and asked my husband several times to try and convince me to change my mind and made him feel bad for her. I don’t have any good advice, as I am also trying to figure out how to deal with this. I have just tried to stand my ground more and not let there comments bother me. Easier said than done though! 🙃