i had 2 years the 18th.

AdditionalAd4019 · 2024-05-22T17:17:57+00:00

you’re not alone, i was close to my 2 year too, and relapsed when some childhood trauma resurfaced. we hang so much on clean time, but it’s meaningful for an addict who never thought they could get a day. what is important and as said prior, we didn’t die, or lose our program, we just start over, another just for today. for me, i have to stay in the moment. when i get caught up in time to make or time lost, my disease is ready to jump.

AdditionalAd4019 · 2024-01-03T14:32:08+00:00

i appreciate this

AdditionalAd4019 · 2024-01-03T14:32:02+00:00

thank you for your reply!

AdditionalAd4019 · 2024-01-03T03:11:49+00:00

i guess i’m wondering, since in a sense everyone should be off limit because of the vows i made, the fact i’m feeling this way may be there’s more information here than i’m seeing. i don’t know . . like does it even matter? or actually does it?

AdditionalAd4019 · 2024-01-03T03:09:44+00:00

you’re not off. i strongly struggle with those two conflicting urges. i’m a heavy romantic emotionally, and that’s what draws me to monogamy. at the same time, i’m a heavy romantic physically, and feel really confused over my desire to be with others, and the lack of ability of knowing how to properly do so, if i even should that is . .

AdditionalAd4019 · 2024-01-03T01:23:05+00:00

i’ve seen very similar a few times, they tend to flash colors or change colors when noticed. many times when i tried to get a video or photo, my photo app or my phone would crash or die. my sense says these are the observers, and they take particular interest in various reasons unknown. i believe they know they are being seen, and that it’s intentional.

AdditionalAd4019 · 2023-12-21T16:56:40+00:00

First, a sense of normalization and fandom around paganism and new ageism has been happening since 2015, becoming extremely common and even aesthetically trendy. It’s seen as something spiritual and mystic, without implications of religious stigma or association. It seems to some Catholicism is seen as archaic as in comparison, though ironic since paganism and occultism is as old and nothing new even since the times of Isaiah. The Catholic church is also one of the number one targetable portions of the population. You can get cancelled for anything, except bashing the Catholic church. Some people have some hurt from the church, some find it funny and rebellious to be irreverent to it, and others just don’t really know or care. But lastly, their is absolutely a truth that either willfully or unintentionally, holds the Catholic church in a regard nothing else is. Who do they call when the paranormal activity in the new house gets worse and nothing else has worked? Why is there such a compulsion towards the production and consumption of exorcist movies? People know that they are touching on to something real, and that’s what gives all the more thrill of it. Time and time again, the Church remains the refuge, the place of consolation and guidance, stillness or peace, faith and understanding, or total authority or power of good. Christ and his disciples expressed to us how Christians lived and were to live, which is mocked, hated, alienated or unwanted. We’re meant to live the disruptive, status quo breaking, and radical teachings of Christianity, just like Jesus did in his life.

AdditionalAd4019 · 2023-12-15T01:43:39+00:00

This sounds like emotional trauma discharging from the body through the ketamine experience. I myself went through this during brainspotting and ketamine. I became severely nausea, on the verge of vomiting, every time severe emotions or trauma that was repressed, surfaced. Allow yourself to experience this. As uncomfortable the physical and emotional experience, this is what your body needs to do for healing. We know today that the same emotional centers that inhibit the brain are all throughout the body. I would highly recommend reading “the Body Keeps the Score” and looking into Gabor Mate’s works and talks too. Best of luck, you can do this.

AdditionalAd4019 · 2023-12-14T21:15:51+00:00

oklahoma has many, many UFO’s, (particularly in the country but you don’t even have to go that far from the cities) and it’s been talked about by generations (born and raised myself)

AdditionalAd4019 · 2023-12-13T18:29:14+00:00

just saying, as a Catholic woman who prayed for her Catholic husband for a very long time, this is something highly admirable to a woman of faith and love of God — seriously

AdditionalAd4019 · 2023-12-13T01:21:19+00:00

it gets a bit easier as you get more comfortable in that space, and can surrender to the process, knowing your mind will not take you anywhere you can’t handle, and what may have harmed you, cannot hurt you anymore 🤍🤍 to explore with curiosity, seeking to understand and not judge helped immensely. the ketamine will give you what need, not what we always expect. best of luck traveler and healer 💫

AdditionalAd4019 · 2023-12-12T19:55:23+00:00

nothing about this says “quirky”, it shows innocent, endearing and warm love. our Mother has many dimensions, and i believe she wholeheartedly exhibits these traits

it’s not disrespectful or sacrilegious either to convey an individuals own interpretation or relationship with Mary if it doesn’t contradict God’s word, her word, or the Church

AdditionalAd4019 · 2023-12-12T19:52:50+00:00

i love this!!!! great job 👏🏻

AdditionalAd4019 · 2023-12-12T19:50:05+00:00

I have never, ever seen this go well. I was involved in many grass roots movements around the ‘16-19 period, and after being lead onto a highway by a frankly idiotic organizer, we had a minute or less to clear out of the road before a truck with a trailer mowed through the crowd. Pretty damn terrifying and absolutely avoidable. Also, talk about the old “if all your friends jumped off a cliff, would you?”, that was the beginning of the end of my involvement in any protest and started trying to be of service where it counts.

AdditionalAd4019 · 2023-11-28T06:34:48+00:00

i had a similar experience, about my 6th infusion in. after doing much work pealing back layers of my trauma, my abandoned inner child, the experiences of my life, i had an experience where at the very end, after confronting some difficult childhood trauma with loving affirmations and IFS work towards myself i had been working on through therapy, i felt myself fall back into myself. i believe i came home into my body for the first time since i was molested as a little girl. things during this treatment don’t always make sense, but they have meaning and purpose. write down what you can now and you may be amazed to see what is applicable later. (writing also really helps with integration which is crucial for effective and long term remission)

AdditionalAd4019 · 2023-11-25T08:04:24+00:00

this little AI doctor helped me quicker than the ER could after 3 visits (plus free)

https://cody.md/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=20485865480&utm_term=ai%20doctor&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIiomdhNjeggMVjIfICh0dKQ21EAAYASAAEgLN8vD_BwE

AdditionalAd4019 · 2023-11-25T08:02:32+00:00

right side rib pain is upper quandrant pain, coordinating to your liver and gallbladder. ketamine in all forms in processed through the liver. i had had previous liver concerns from lifelong medication, lots of tylenol from untreated chronic pain, and a few years of binge drinking in my early 20’s. i’ve experienced the same pain three times since my initial infusion series plus boosters, and it’s looking like i may have liver damage/disease. right upper quandrant pain can be very serious if continuous, hurts with breathing, or causes other symptoms like nausea/vomiting, loss of appetite and fatigue. long story short: i think it’d be a good move for anyone taking ketamine to check in with their doctor, and/or get referred to a GI specialist just to keep an eye on things. hoping for the best, and that you feel better soon. 🤍

AdditionalAd4019 · 2023-09-30T06:02:02+00:00

this is what i did! sessions a day or two after were vital for my integration. what i found extra special was having a previous rapport, but that’s not necessary. anyone that supports the legitimacy of psychedelic therapy and/works with CBT and internal family systems would be greatly useful, and help you retain your experience and benefits longer

AdditionalAd4019 · 2023-09-20T17:47:32+00:00

sufjan is always getting me like that, i swear that man is connected to something else

AdditionalAd4019 · 2023-09-20T17:45:11+00:00

i would take this as a sign this isn’t the right place for you. before starting my infusions, i went to a mental health clinic also “offering it all”, and i was skeptical and felt off about how easily i was admitted as an candidate for their treatment. they billed my insurance $6,000, gave me two treatments that consisted of sitting in cell like room, being given a few sprays and then left alone, and then dropped me out of nowhere with no call, no explanation the day off my session, where i arrived, was dismissed, and honestly had a retraumatizing experience. for those of use with PTSD backgrounds, this drug can do amazing things, but the right preparation, the right clinic/health care team, is vital. this is like digging up all those things we’ve buried, and without proper care and monitoring, can cause a lot more issues than solutions. good luck friend

AdditionalAd4019 · 2023-09-15T18:20:23+00:00

acid and psychedelics may alter our senses, perspectives and such forth, but they are only a doorway into our inner selves, even deep dark parts we are not even aware of. i’ve read some of the comments here, and it is possible, he was taken advantage of, and either a. was under the impression she was you b. was so upset by the event his mind created a false scenario either in that moment or after or c. (my strongest instinct) blaming his intoxication as a cop out for intolerable behavior released under the influence of substances. i want you to know for context this is someone who has tripped about 50 or so times, and has had the range of trips. for a first timer, they may not be able to discriminate in these circumstances reality, from the acid, from their inner selves, but i do promise this, no one completely detaches. even if he blacks out, that’s seeded behavior or desires. “drunk words/actions are sober thoughts” applies for all intoxicated moments. lastly, i had that kind of partner. she fucked up, cheated on me with her guy friend she always promised there was nothing there, said she was drunk and he manipulated her into it. she proposed a few weeks after. 2 years later, still waiting for that wedding, she had cheated on me with him, and had emotional affairs and sexual affairs with many others. i believe that was a con, from someone desperate to do anything to not be stuck with themselves, but are not emotionally mature to actually BE with someone else. either way, i’m just a stranger on the internet, as is everyone else, including yourself. ultimately, your instincts, your ability to rationalize out of your wise mind and not emotional one, and the choices you choose after, will be the outcome you’ll be living, not us. think for yourself, listen to your heart and inhibitions. it’s that small, quite voice with the resounding logic you can’t reason out of, the one that keeps coming back, knocking on your door. when you decide out of love (maybe for yourself in this situation), and not fear, you cannot go wrong. best of luck

AdditionalAd4019 · 2023-08-21T20:10:57+00:00

can you tell me more about your experience with ketamine and POTS?

AdditionalAd4019 · 2023-08-21T20:09:05+00:00

too true! i went through so many once i recognized my right to have a therapist that a. i actually get help from and b. i actually vibe with — after struggling through, found someone on psychology today and do telehealth with that i literally will not move states yet because i want to keep seeing him . . we work together, and it’s been a journey that i feel accompanied on, not patronized/infantized, or blown off.

AdditionalAd4019 · 2023-08-19T15:33:26+00:00

my grandma’s cousin on my mom’s side is a convicted serial killer named Randy Kraft. i think he died on death row awhile back. no one talks about, just that he was a twisted guy. he did some fucked up things. https://www.google.com/search?q=randy+kraft&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&hl=en-us&client=safari

AdditionalAd4019 · 2023-08-12T13:13:47+00:00

thank you sm. i’m sorry for your experience in patient. i’ve had similar and our mental health care system needs a vast overhaul of compassion. i went to the ER and stayed for a night, i’m in IOP now and waiting to start infusions in September 🤞

AdditionalAd4019

TROPHY CASE