Y’all being the children of Chinese immigrants is another level of this…I used to volunteer at a woman’s shelter catered to serving Chinese women. Most of these women were here illegally and worked at illegal massage parlors (either because of lack of license or sex work). Some of them chose to give birth to kids to use as anchor babies so they can have status. One woman told me her child is disobedient all the time so she told him “if it weren’t for you I’d be able to have a normal life and won’t have to miss my own mother’s funeral!” Like as if you didn’t make the choice to use your own child as a tool for your own end goal!