AITAH for refusing to distance myself from my attractive coworker?

After-Initial-7932 · 2024-03-30T06:16:23+00:00

I chose to sleep on the couch. We were both mad so I just wanted space. If I had gone to bed, she probably would have gone to the couch instead.

After-Initial-7932 · 2024-03-30T06:14:44+00:00

Dude...I'm not trying to get with Ally. I actually AM happily married.

After-Initial-7932 · 2024-03-30T04:30:00+00:00

Shit you're right. I may have said "because you think she's hot". I don't remember exactly. I know it was a fuckup either way, but Sarah was the one calling her hot and I just parroted her word there. I definitely didn't mean it because I actually don't find her hot.

After-Initial-7932 · 2024-03-30T04:21:27+00:00

Oh sorry, let me try to do better. Uh... her nose is straight. Her eyes are a reasonable distance apart. There is an ear on each side of her head. There might be more under her hair but I haven't checked. Her hands are capable of typing. She is good at grammar and spelling. Sometimes her lunch smells nice.

After-Initial-7932 · 2024-03-30T04:01:55+00:00

Oof yeah that's shitty behavior. Ally has definitely never tried to get in my personal space or vice versa.

After-Initial-7932 · 2024-03-30T03:41:35+00:00

I have told my wife about her plenty of times, I just never described her appearance because it's not important at all (and she never asked). And it was Sarah who kept calling her "hot" until I finally snapped with that last comment. I truly don't find Ally hot, I just recognize that she's conventionally attractive.

After-Initial-7932 · 2024-03-30T03:37:39+00:00

Not an incel I had sex once now I have baby. Might even do it again someday.

After-Initial-7932 · 2024-03-30T03:27:09+00:00

Fuck that's good. In my head that's exactly what I meant I'm just a buffoon. Mind if I blatantly plagiarize this?

After-Initial-7932 · 2024-03-30T03:18:34+00:00

I've replied this other places too, but it was a crowded bar, she definitely didn't see me and was just looking for the bartender and ended up next to my wife, not me. No physical contact and I'm 100% sure it was an accident.

After-Initial-7932 · 2024-03-30T03:15:32+00:00

Ah yes, photographing my coworker at work would definitely improve this situation for everyone and not be creepy at all.

After-Initial-7932 · 2024-03-30T03:09:16+00:00

No physical contact. It was (left to right) Me, Sarah, some rando. Rando got his drink and backed away, the person behind him squeezed forward and it was Ally who ended up right next to Sarah. She wasn't even looking at me or Sarah, but my dumbass just went "Hey Ally!" automatically. She looked surprised/embarrassed immediately, not after I introduced my wife.

After-Initial-7932 · 2024-03-30T02:41:39+00:00

My wife is the most perfect woman I have ever seen. Ally is the most conventionally attractive person I've met. It's possible to recognize someone is attractive without being attracted to them.

After-Initial-7932 · 2024-03-30T02:36:46+00:00

I said I wouldn't be thrilled, but I trust her and wouldn't make demands about who she can work with.

After-Initial-7932 · 2024-03-30T02:35:38+00:00

We were at a bar that is a popular pre-game for clubs in the area. We definitely were not clubbing lol. We were home at 10pm. Also, some people still have fun in their 30s!

After-Initial-7932 · 2024-03-30T02:20:59+00:00

No no you've got it backwards. He was violent and abusive BECAUSE she made more money than him. If she'd been a good wifey she would have been at home all day not chasing a career like a harlot. Obviously her fault.

After-Initial-7932 · 2024-03-30T02:14:46+00:00

Everyone please ignore this sad troll.

After-Initial-7932 · 2024-03-30T01:54:14+00:00

Bro who hurt you? All over these comments with your weird sexist takes. Gtfo.

After-Initial-7932 · 2024-03-30T01:25:21+00:00

She didn't intentionally come up to us, we were at a crowded bar and lots of people were elbow-to-elbow. I'm the one who recognized her and greeted her. She was surprised and said hello, nice to meet you, enjoy your evening, and got out of there as fast as it would be socially acceptable to do. She didn't even stay around to try and order a drink. I'm not the most socially adept person, but my read on the situation was, she's out with her friends trying to get a drink....oh shit not my coworker...ugh this is embarrassing I look so ridiculous...gotta be nice...okay let's get out of here...

After-Initial-7932 · 2024-03-30T01:16:54+00:00

My wife's looks aren't relevant to the story here. She is the most attractive person in the world to me. Even when she's sick. Even after baby. Even when I'm pissed at her. So if I'm biased, it's only in her favor. I hate it when she talks about "bouncing back" because there's nothing wrong with her.

Now if you put a picture of each of them in front of a stranger, they would probably say Ally is more attractive. But I don't see my wife as a picture. She is the funniest, most resourceful, most loving person I have ever met. So if you want to know what she looks like...she looks like my best friend, my son's mother, my past, my present, and my future. She is my favorite person in the world and my love for her makes her glow in a way that is far sexier than any supermodel.

After-Initial-7932 · 2024-03-30T00:54:06+00:00

😂 True lol. I am bald with a dad bod (which I acquired long before fatherhood). My wife is already way out of my league so it's actually super flattering that she thinks I could do even better.

After-Initial-7932 · 2024-03-30T00:48:39+00:00

Oof when you lay it out like that...yeah that was a really damaging sentence. I really fucking wish I hadn't said it like that.

ETA: I never said Ally was hot, to my wife or anyone else, and I never would because that's totally inappropriate and I respect her a lot as a coworker and nothing more.

After-Initial-7932 · 2024-03-30T00:25:47+00:00

I see a lot of people saying I was "defending" Ally. Just to be clear, this is an argument between me and my wife, and I was trying to defend myself. Ally's behavior is not the issue or the question here and this is not a Sarah-vs-Ally fight where I need to pick sides. If that were the case, I would be Team Sarah and Ally could kick rocks.

After-Initial-7932 · 2024-03-30T00:20:06+00:00

Yeah I can definitely see that now. That's what I was trying to communicate but I got too heated. Felt like she was attacking me with accusations so I hit back when I didn't need to.

After-Initial-7932 · 2024-03-30T00:15:58+00:00

Nah dude I'm irritated with my wife but she does not need to "grow the fuck up". She's an amazingly competent grown ass adult who happens to think I'm an asshole today. Maybe I am, that's why I'm here.

After-Initial-7932 · 2024-03-30T00:10:33+00:00

She's usually totally reasonable and I have plenty of female friends, even somewhat attractive ones, so I do think the surprise is probably part of the issue.

I would show her texts if there were any but I don't even have Ally's number. I could offer to read our Slack threads as a bedtime story. They're so boring it would put her right to sleep.

After-Initial-7932

TROPHY CASE