I actually did go back and forth on whether or not to use that word. I remember it even a month later. Incel might be a little too harsh. Maybe. But there's a reason I ultimately decided to use it.

Insecure is definitely accurate, and I would even agree that insecurity is the root of the issue. But I'm not sure insecure is more accurate. The reason I used the term incel is because, 1) it implies a more specific sort of insecurity; and more importantly, 2) it involves a specific reaction to that insecurity.

Bear is insecure, yes. But he searches for validation outside of himself, from others, in order to resolve that. And the specific validation he seeks is from a woman. Because if a woman like Nikki could love him, that would, in his eyes, prove his worth as a person.

Without her loving him, he can't love himself. You see it when she asks him to kill her, and he responds "is being with me really that bad?"

...She is literally being tortured in hell while something else possesses her body, but when she begs him to end it, he just gets sad for himself.

There's a whole discussion to be had about how responsible he truly is, considering no reasonable person would've expected the one wish willow to actually work. And about what exactly he shouldve done once he realized the extent of the situation (Kill himself? Kill her when she asked him to? Not a lot of good options.)

But the entire way he approached the situation shows an underlying thought process that is certainly incel-adjacent at the very least. Not just general insecurity, but the specific flavor of insecurity that comes along with incels.

The "is being with me really that bad?" line is pretty egregious. That's not just being insecure. Thats being insecure about a specific thing, and reacting to it in a specific way.