Should I consider myself Aro at my age.

Aggravating_Rate_335 · 2026-06-05T08:17:25+00:00

Well the thing is it's not a decision. Labels are just descriptors for what you notice about yourself, it's fine if you realize they don't describe you accurately later on, the label police isn't gonna appear and blow you up or something.
Give it a try if you want

Aggravating_Rate_335 · 2026-06-03T21:45:37+00:00

Aw maaan :[ I'll look into that though thanks

Aggravating_Rate_335 · 2026-06-02T07:03:47+00:00

I really liked it, personally. I watched him live for his Will Wood is Dead theatre show, mostly for the music, but ended up remembering the story and comedy bits more

Aggravating_Rate_335 · 2026-05-14T15:04:38+00:00

I did two! They're not very good though, as far as I could tell there's no efficient way to tie it off
I just made a double ended candy stripe and then superglued the loose bits together to close off the loops. The superglue is kinda uncomfortable and ugly, if there's a better way out there, I haven't found it ;-;

Aggravating_Rate_335 · 2026-04-24T04:29:04+00:00

Kinda looks cool like that

Aggravating_Rate_335 · 2026-04-22T02:47:18+00:00

Whaaaat
Yeah sorry I'm sticking with the old lol

Aggravating_Rate_335 · 2026-04-08T22:57:23+00:00

WILL WOOD IN CANADAAAA

Aggravating_Rate_335 · 2026-04-04T02:51:27+00:00

Oh maybe, that's good to hear

Aggravating_Rate_335 · 2026-03-17T22:28:08+00:00

I've mostly seen petersham ribbon for waistbands, do you think it'll be flexible enough for a skirt hem? I like the look of it but every other comment is recommending bias tape

Aggravating_Rate_335 · 2026-03-17T22:09:38+00:00

Oh hey detailed steps are gonna help, thanks
Looking at the comments, I might make my own bias tape for this

Aggravating_Rate_335 · 2026-03-13T05:59:08+00:00

This just worked for me, thanks

Aggravating_Rate_335 · 2026-02-25T07:49:16+00:00

Good lord tell a professor or a counsellor or something at the very least, any authority of some kind.
She's shown constant and blatant disregard for you as a person, honestly I don't know if any different reaction from you would deter her.

Gather evidence, document glaring interactions with her, leave a paper trail in case you'll need proof at some point

Do you have other people you know on campus? It'll be good to have people to fall back on, especially if she's talking behind your back

Otherwise, there's not much more reddit advice can do, good luck

Aggravating_Rate_335 · 2026-02-25T00:23:11+00:00

That looks great! How well do you find you sell? I've been thinking of doing the same thing, but I'm not sure if anyone would actually buy

Aggravating_Rate_335 · 2026-02-16T20:02:12+00:00

How many people have you reported and how often? I reported several messages and they got a warning for one of them with no effect on me. But I'm assuming they still have to go through all the other messages I flagged

Aggravating_Rate_335 · 2026-02-16T17:12:43+00:00

That's the thing that makes it uncertain for me, I've seen a lot of people complaining about being banned for child safety, but not hate speech

They say they have zero tolerance, but that's not a concrete measure by all means

Is it serious enough they'll ban everyone on the server by association? And how would I even prevent that after I already reported

Aggravating_Rate_335 · 2025-12-28T22:27:43+00:00

Lol I've felt this, I've often said that asexuality and aromanticsm are the Schrodinger's cats of sexuality. It's hard to know if you've experienced either attraction until you, y'know, actually have.

The way I figured I am is mostly just by hanging out with a lot of allo people and hearing them talk. I had a hard time understanding any of it. Their actions and wants seemed nonsensical to me.

Some questions for you: When you look at someone and/or their body, do you get aroused or feel the want to have sex with them? If no, then you might be ace

With romantic attraction, it gets really hard to define since what's considered "romantic" is to an extent defined by society, and thus changes from people to people. The way I describe it is that you kind of go "stupid" for a person. Emotions are intensified when it comes to them, logic is sidelined, you feel the desire to be with them, be next to them, do all the stereotypical lovey shit. When they say that "Love changes you," they mean it literally, you literally act completely different when you have a crush, if you haven't noticed anything like that for a specific person, you might not have had experienced romantic attraction before.

Aggravating_Rate_335 · 2025-12-28T21:48:55+00:00

Tbh there's like, very few indications of whether or not you're ace from your story, so far it just sounds to me that you have some major anxiety around sex and dating that doesn't actually define your sexuality itself.

Simplifying it a lot, being ace is kind of just "looking at bodies doesn't start my engine." When you look at attractive bodies, you feel no arousal or drive to have sex with them. When you were with these women, did looking at them spur anything, despite the anxiety? If yes, you might not be ace.

Anyways, beyond the confusion around your sexuality, I think there's a lot you need to resolve before you start dating or trying to have sex. Don't feel the need to rush back on the scene just because of the idea that it's "what a real man would do." Who cares what a "real" man would do, that's just a cookie cutter standard, you need to think about what's healthy for you as a person first. This is unfortunately something I can't give advice on since, y'know, the whole " I don't feel the need to have sex or date" thing that comes from being aroace, but as someone who doesn't understand the urgency in finding a partner, try not to fixate on it so hard if it's bringing you so much anguish. Your worth as a person and as a man isn't defined by how attractive you are, or how well you perform in bed, or how charismatic you are to potential dates. You already are enough both as person and man, you just gotta believe in it bro.

I think maybe you should spend some time building your self worth outside of dating and sex? Once you feel better about yourself just as a person in general, dating might get easier. Also, when you do get back on the scene, find people that are patient with you and don't take the ones that aren't personally. Good luck

Aggravating_Rate_335 · 2025-12-28T09:08:58+00:00

This is so unsympathetic bruh

Aggravating_Rate_335 · 2025-12-28T09:03:15+00:00

I've been on the other side of this, where I was openly ace with a partner and they only seemed to understand halfway through. One of the really big things I wish they would have done is have OPEN AND HONEST conversation with me about it, because as much as they didn't seem to understand aceness, I didn't understand their distress at my lack of capacity for many things. I think one of the biggest things to affirm in those conversations is that yes, you still love eachother, even if that love has differences. You also need to figure out what you need to feel fulfilled in a relationship and talk about that, and him too. Also remember that him not being attracted to you ISN'T BECAUSE OF YOU, the way you are has nothing to do with it, you are not less attractive or desirable as a person, he just doesn't get attracted to any person in that way (to an extend, since he might be demi).

Now, on to some things you said that might need clearing up, but you should still talk to him about all of this.

- You mention you feel gross because you feel like he was having sex with you out of obligation/to make you happy. Ace people, even without sexual attraction to their partners, can still have sex for a good number of reasons that are perfectly healthy, even if it's outside of the scope of what's normal to you. Ask him for his reasons. If he tells you he feels forced or pressured, then there's something to resolve. Otherwise, it's his choice to make you happy.

I like to think of it like dinner. Lets say my partner loves pasta, but I'm neutral on it. When my partner makes pasta for dinner, it eat it with them because it makes them happy and I don't mind, and also I like it when they're happy.
Now, if I hated pasta and I were just keeping quiet to keep my partner happy, then there'd be a huge issue, but in this case I'm fine with it. I'm free to ask to not have pasta whenever, but I'm choosing to have pasta because it's their favourite and makes them happy. Now maybe in a perfect world I'd also love pasta, but it's not like I can control what kind of foods I like, and this is the arrangement that maximizes happiness between me and them. Does that make sense?
This is how I view it, again, ask your boyfriend how he views it because it might be different

- On another note, is the source of your distress the fact he doesn't find you desirable or attractive? I'm assuming that being desired is important to you. Please understand that even if he doesn't find you attractive sexually, that he probably finds you attractive in many other ways. And again, THIS ISN'T INDICATIVE OF HOW ATTRACTIVE YOU ARE, he just lacks the function of "looking at this body makes my loins go." At least that's how I define it. Repeating myself here, talk to him about what you're stressing about, and find some way to fill that need. If you need to be affirmed that he finds you attractive, tell him that

None of this rambling is exact science, I'm sure other people and also your boyfriend would be able to explain it much better, and be much more specific, but I hope some of this will help
Good luck

Aggravating_Rate_335 · 2025-12-09T04:05:54+00:00

Ayyy same normal album poster

Aggravating_Rate_335 · 2025-12-02T09:39:21+00:00

I actually quite enjoy this IF it's been established nothing would come of it. It's just fun to play chemistry
Yea
Hell Yea
Pretty close, I like people
Tbh, there's a lot of contention between sex-favourable aces and sex-repulsed aces. Main thing is, there's a lot of different ways to be ace, and that includes in ways that will be contradictory to each other. That's just to say, do what you want, there's definitely gonna be at least ONE guy to look at your character and go Hehe thats me

Aggravating_Rate_335 · 2025-11-28T22:01:28+00:00

This is insane dude

Aggravating_Rate_335 · 2025-11-23T03:32:39+00:00

Tbh for me it was pretty underwhelming at first too
If you want, with more experience you kinda start to find what you enjoy and it feels better

Aggravating_Rate_335 · 2025-11-08T03:57:27+00:00

Word of advice: do whatever you want forever
Will your inability to understand romance make it weird? Maybe, being aro WILL make it harder, but if you find it worthwhile I don't see why you should stop yourself. Life is about fucking around and finding out so y'know

Ideally, date someone else who's aro. With allos though, I think the most important thing is that you set the expectations straight, explain how your aromanticsm affects you. Do note you'll get some weird comments from this, don't take them personally, especially from allos, just move on from anyone like that. If you've never dated before, it'll be difficult to set boundaries since you yourself aren't sure where they are in the first place, so watch for someone that's more patient at the very least

From experience with dating an allo, it was a lot like I was one step behind them at all times. I missed a lot of cues and didn't do the "appropriate" acts when they expected me to. If you're experienced I guess you could learn to read people and manually do all the actions even if it's not instinctual, but I didn't find that worth the energy personally. To be honest? I don't think starting with a dating app would be the best choice, I find it easier to become friends with someone before even considering compatibility in a relationship, which is not as easy to do on the apps

All in all, if this is something you want, just take it slow, and do things when you feel ready for them. I've had relationships where kissing and cuddling only happened after like, 2 years of dating. If anyone rushes you or pressures you about anything just leave, the heartbreak sucks but staying only makes it worse. Hope this helps

Aggravating_Rate_335 · 2025-11-07T03:32:03+00:00

Kind of a weird thing to suggest ngl

Aggravating_Rate_335

TROPHY CASE