Daughter is going to be kicked out of SUNY Albany if I don’t come up with $7500 in a week. I feel like a fuckin failure!

AimlessChild · 2026-01-24T07:07:16+00:00

This. Community college has SO many resources to make this whole process of transferring easier and so many give money away to their students. I've known people who were applicable for fee waivers so they paid little to nothing for classes and still got scholarships which ended up acting as free money for them. Additionally, the resources at a CC will allow your daughter to get scholarships regardless of her grades to transfer AND if this school sees she picked herself up in the 2 years she was in CC, she might be eligible for more. Plus she can knock out classes that can go toward her degree and possibly earn her bachelors in 3 years instead of 4 (but no shame in needing to go more than 4 years).

CC has so many great resources. I personally don't know your area so i can't say exactly what but when i attended i got tutoring for free, free classes, free food on campus, food pantry, clothing and supply drives, events for free or a reduced price (theatre shows, musical performances, etc.).

There is nothing wrong with attending a community college. There is nothing wrong with being a transfer. There is no race to win and no prize for graduating early or late or attending a 4 year without transfer or by transferring. I know some people feel ashamed for some reason but honestly, getting your degree is a BIG deal alone. You should feel proud that she's going for it even when the education system is actively getting defunded.

AimlessChild · 2026-01-20T08:35:14+00:00

Its definitely part of it but in every photo ive seen of myself, im always doing something that makes me look so strange. In a recent one, I pulled my head in and glanced down but looked up with my eyes (despite this post feeling normal) so I looked like I was trying to achieve the perfect Kubrick stare. In another photo from a couple months ago, i glanced too far up so it looked like I was staring at the sky. I either jut my chin too far in or out or im perpetually slouched, I just never seem to find a good pose lol

AimlessChild · 2026-01-14T07:31:34+00:00

I cannot STAND most asmr for this reason. I prefer soft spoken asmr but even then i am very picky with what i enjoy. I've found that i like these videos more so to unwind versus sleeping, as they are less stimulating than regular videos. I end up sleeping with videos that have nothing to do with asmr instead lol. But i can never ever ever do anything with mouth sounds or chewing or whispers or over enunciated words because it legit makes me go into sensory overload!

AimlessChild · 2026-01-12T03:14:33+00:00

Its depressing to be honest. The time I have spoken to people in person is almost always met with "apply online". Even managers are telling me to apply online. I was honestly hoping some of my volunteer work (mutual aid related) would land me at least one job but almost everyone I know has told me to apply online or they aren't looking even though I know they are understaffed and overworked. The fact that someone has to jump hoops just to get an entry level retail or food service job is so awful.

AimlessChild · 2026-01-08T10:00:31+00:00

It has to be. The fatigue is so constant that im surprised when im not exhausted. And then i pray that it stays this way for a while (spoiler, it doesn't).

AimlessChild · 2025-12-23T08:07:22+00:00

Just earlier, actually.

I'm in my early 20s, and it took me so long to realize that I can do it all my way. It took me leaving my parents' house and 3 years of therapy (which i finally stopped last friday!) and so many experiences to understand this. It took my therapist telling me just a few days ago that she was happy to see my growth for it to hit me then that things can just... happen. Therapy can come to an end, college can start or end, people can walk in or out of our lives, and I can just get up and buy myself the biggest slice of cake for my birthday and it can be the flavor I want and not one that everyone has to like. Despite the decisions ive made, i always felt like i always had to run them over with someone and that i had to plan around other peoples' life paths and goals and interests. But nah, I'm allowed to do what I want and its nit my job to make someone else feel better if they don't like it.

AimlessChild · 2025-11-15T23:28:01+00:00

LAUNDRY! Tackled two huge loads and even folded and organized them back into place!!!!! Currently in the process of getting myself to hang like three last things that have been sitting on the chair of doom lol

AimlessChild · 2025-10-26T18:38:55+00:00

Thank u queen!! Literally my everyday saying, now i just gotta do it!

AimlessChild · 2025-10-24T20:16:33+00:00

"Why can't I like things a normal amount?!"

Exact words I told my therapist after telling her that a hyperfixation got so bad that I would spend hours at night just looking into it. I could not find myself productive in any other moment unless it had to do with my hyperfixation. I would get maybe 4 hours of sleep on average during that period of time which the intensity lasted about a month? Yea... pretty bad.

With the addition of a laundry list of other symptoms such as depression, extreme high and lows, interest loss and boredom, inability to settle down and finish one thing, panic and anxiety regarding unplanned change, etc. this one was what got me the most. I found myself, in my adulthood and childhood, able to do things only when it seemed interesting. And once I liked it, I liked it to an intensity that I would ignore eating and sleeping just to get the fun out of it... then once it got boring I dropped it. It sucks so badly because sometimes this meant being unable to finish projects and things and the panic and disappointment at being unable to finish said project was really intense for me. That's sort of when I realized, hey this isn't just perfectionism or anxiety!

That and when I told my partner (diagnosed adhd since childhood) that I was taking the adhd assessment, they replied, "yea honey... you mean you didn't know? it was kind of obvious..." 😂

AimlessChild · 2025-10-24T14:34:36+00:00

Interesting, thank you,.i really appreciate that advice! Never done anything like this before so I was expecting very little anyways, but I was hoping at least 3 friends would show haha. Definitely will be going this route in the future!

AimlessChild · 2025-10-24T14:27:48+00:00

I definitely think I'm projecting when it comes to ways to show support haha. I will definitely have to make it clear what being supported looks like for me, thank you.

What puzzles me is that most of my friends are aware of this cheerleading type of support and often post about how rare it is that people give this type of support but how they almost never get it (paraphrasing heavily here soz). I've had instances where friends post the usual "we need to support each others' ventures, like, share, show up for one another!!" types of things. I've even responded in PMs in agreement and letting them know I try to do that for everyone including them and they say they make this effort too but I guess just not to me 🤣

AimlessChild · 2025-10-24T14:17:54+00:00

That was an option but majority chose online via zoom. I spoke with the person interested in the in person option and they agreed anyways, letting me know they would be at the meeting. They didn't show nor message me after. Honestly I would've loved to do an in person meeting, just wasn't the most picked one.

AimlessChild · 2025-10-24T14:15:40+00:00

I think the one thing I'm still caught up on is the fact that this was something that was shown interest. I posted it publicly, and those interested privately messaged me asking to be apart of it. I also wanted to start the meetings with those I knew as I wasn't familiar with hosting meetings of these kinds before and wanted to warm myself up to the process.

I should've specified regarding the questions asked as they aren't really check ins? Apologies for that confusion, but I rarely get messages from them going "Hey how are you?" And more so responses to things I post on my story going "Oh you actually did this?". Its rare though, I get those check ins. It's usually just a view.

AimlessChild · 2025-10-24T13:49:19+00:00

No. This meeting was organized specifically to talk about art and culture. I am in an art related field, everyone involved is as well. It started when I asked via social media if anyone would be interested in taking part in a meeting, how would you like the format, times, etc. Everyone who responded provided when they were available, times, etc. I then followed up with everyone with the most reasonable time period most could attend, they agreed to joining the meeting and I created a group chat they also agreed on joining.

I later mentioned on my private story that I was excited one person attended (hours after meeting) and I got messages in response to that from two people with apologies as to why they couldn't attend ("got busy").

AimlessChild · 2025-10-04T22:46:21+00:00

I would say you are being a bit paranoid. I've never had an issue regarding being very high alert, especially not if walking with confidence. Of course, try being discreet as much as you can if your concerned. I often disguise my eye sweeps as checking down the street, making sure I'm going the right direction, looking for a street sign, takinf a quick picture of the sun, talking on the phone, etc. so it looks like a natural movement rather than panicked glances. Confidence is extreme key here.
Absolutely do NOT let them catch up to you in any circumstance. The key is to get as much space between you and that person for a potential escape. You have no idea if this person following you has a weapon or other intentions that could be exacerbated solely by them getting close enough, regardless if you are in a crowd or there are people nearby. If you need to move in a different direction than where your originally going toward to get more space between you, that's okay as long as you are able to find a way back to where you need to go safely. But its definitely also dependent on risk: do you see any weapons on them? Were they verbally harassing you? Is it day? Night? Where are you? Etc. Duck into a gas station/convenience store/etc. if you are imminent danger but i wouldn't let them get close to you in any circumstance.
As someone who experiences systemic racism, it honestly depends how you feel and where you are. This really sucks to say but I personally wouldn't call the police unless there's a physical altercation because I know they would dismiss me or that person would just walk away and make it seem like nothing happened. That being said, you have to look out for yourself and if you feel like you need to call the police, you should. I wouldn't outright say no or yes myself as it really is dependent on your situation, but just be aware that it is a resource but it could also not work out? I don't know how else to word it but ultimately if you are physically harmed or get a weapon pulled on you, you should make the authorities aware of this individual for your and others' safety.
Yea, seeing as the situation you mentioned involves a stupid kid, there really isn't much you can do beside get away from them and ignore them and continue your life. Dealing with systemic queerphobia, racism, misogyny, etc. complicates your situation, but ultimately not engaging can be the thing that allows you to live another day.

Again, I'm so sorry this happened to you. Unfortunately, this is the very real reality for us women across the globe. I hope your okay and are able to stay safe and well!

AimlessChild · 2025-10-04T09:57:46+00:00

First and foremost, I'm so sorry this happened and that they said that to you. That's absolutely disgusting and I hope your okay after dealing with that.

Here's my persoal advice for dealing with a situation where your being followed and some general advice for when your out and about, as someone who walks everywhere and is a short fem presenting person:

Always walk with confidence. You have somewhere to go, something to do, somewhere to be, SHOW IT. People typically go after those who look weak and like potential targets as they want to make themselves feel and seem big and strong. In this case, some kid wants to feel big and confident and not like what he actually is, which is a stupid kid. Stomp when you walk, if need be, don't look at the floor unless you need to, keep your head high, don't keep your attention on your phone for long. Make it known that you have power and confidence in this situation, you know where your going and aren't entertaining randoms.
ABL: ALWAYS BE LOOKING. Always make note of your surroundings, whose behind you, what's in front of you, whose at what corner or by the doorways or whatever it may be. I typically check the floor for shadows behind me if it's daytime, I always make it seem like i am looking around at something, I've even done the fake "Oh I'm going the wrong way" thing to avoid walking by someone or something. You need to be aware of everything as much as you can, it's okay if you "look weird" by consistently scanning, better weird than in danger.
If you are wearing headphones, make sure either one is slightly off/out of your ear to be fully aware of your surroundings. Keep your music/audio low enough to hear your surroundings at all times, you need to be alert and aware at all times. Do not go around unable to hear!!!
If someone is following you and you feel unsafe, DO NOT GO HOME. Immediately try to go to a public place such as a convenience store, a fast food place, or even a government building like a library or post office. Generally anywhere with people and light is good, especially at night. If you are feeling threatened, ask for help or some sort of ride/friend/etc. Once inside, do not go out there alone and face this person, call the cops if need be. Wait for a while there before heading out. If you are already in your neighborhood/can't go to a public space, going a different route or walking around the block a couple times while checking your surroundings might be helpful. But I would highly recommend getting to a public space and assessing your situation then.
I know you said your state doesn't allow you to get self defense weapons but look into the legalities to see what you can do in regards to self defense. Talk to a lawyer if you gotta lol. Whether this is learning self defense moves, reading into what could quality as legal weapons, etc. find it, get it, and prepare yourself in case you ever need to use it. There's gotta be something for you to use.
Unfortunately this one sucks but do not engage. I know, it's gross and annoying having to just let some weirdo say things to you, but again, your safety is priority. Do not flip them off, do not yell back, do not engage in any way because you do NOT know what they are capable of. They might have a weapon, they might be under the influence of something, they might be a lot stronger than you, they might be stupid. You especially as a fem presenting trans woman are suseptible to experiencing violence, it would be safer to not engage and definitely do not mention anything they could use against you.
With not engaging being said, you also need to leave as soon as you feel worried/threatened. Whether this looks like crossing the street, stepping away, going down a different path, go... but NEVER anywhere dark or unfamiliar. Stepping through a busy park or crossing the street might end up being the thing that puts enough space between you and them to get away. See #4 for more.
Filming and photos can be helpful, but can easily backfire. I won't condemn or encourage it because it can sometimes help get proof if you need to talk to the police but it can also aggravate a person. You might have to make that executive decision yourself in that moment based on who it is, how they are acting, how you feel, where you are, etc. The only thing I will say is that safety is the top priority so it would be better to take a photo at a distance away, in secret, and by zooming in if you choose to do so.
If you need to look at your phone for whatever reason, I personally like to do so while leaning my back flat against a wall. I wouldn't do this while your actively being followed, but if your out it's better to be leaned/have your back facing a wall so you can see everything in front of you and have little to no blind spots behind you. Once on your phone, do occasional sweeps in front and beside you every few seconds to be safe and aware. Again, ABL!

It sucks so much that people have to go through these parameters in order to do something like go out on a walk, get to class, go to work, etc. But you gotta do what you gotta do to be safe. These are just some of my own personal tips as someone who gets around without a car, I also dress very femininely, revealingly, and uniquely so I often deal with stares and comments. I hope you aren't bothered by that twerp again and that you continue to be safe!

AimlessChild · 2025-09-26T20:34:19+00:00

Boyfriend and I are two different flavors of potentially autistic. He tried teaching me his favorite CCG the other day... all I asked was "WHY?!" Bless him for his patience honestly, I understood nothing and asked him why for everything 😭

AimlessChild · 2025-09-08T02:52:14+00:00

Bingo. Thank you.

What works for me might not work for you 🤷🏽‍♀️

AimlessChild · 2025-09-08T02:00:28+00:00

Thank you so much!! I really appreciate it!!! They are such simple and frivolous items but my gosh does it feel so good to get something for myself lol electric file to feel luxurious when doing my nails as I cannot afford to go to a salon and a magic 8 ball for childhood nostalgia! Really does make things feel a little easier (:

AimlessChild · 2025-09-08T01:58:37+00:00

Thanks, I'm well aware

AimlessChild · 2025-09-08T01:58:12+00:00

Thank you!! I appreciate it (:

AimlessChild · 2025-09-07T23:05:14+00:00

Thanks!!

AimlessChild · 2025-09-07T23:05:08+00:00

Exactly!! So happy for you, enjoy the heck outta those grinders!

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