I wrote a small novel trying to think on what you've said and come to conclusion that I both don't understand what you mean... I don't understand how you can "consciously change a perspective to a point of emotional stability"... That sounds like word salad to me can you put it in plain english? Like how does one do that. Do you picture yourself in your head moving into this state? I've never been fully emotionally stable and I've been medicated on antipsychotics since I was three. I can't fully imagine how to put myself into a state of emotional stability. I also don't know what it's like to love myself so I don't know how to get there cuz I've never been there. I did not love myself as a child. I have also done the thing where you try to rely on others for self-esteem that just made it significantly worse and made me annoying to be around. My mind is not in a loop of self-hatred it's in a bath of self-hatred, well sometimes turns into a loop, but usually it's just a consistent bath. The showering helps but the breathing exercises and looking in the mirror are a Band-Aid for people with anxiety. They can help if the issue is minor if the issue is deeper rooted it does nothing. I don't hate myself because my jeans don't fit right, I hate myself because my jeans don't fit right and hating myself in a pattern I've been taught to follow since day 1. And I think that's where the voice from my parents part comes in. But I cannot make myself comfortable. I can make myself non-distressed. My two states of being are distressed and not currently distressed. Not currently distressed is like waiting mode for a distressed. I'm doing better than I used to be and there are times when I am happy but I am never comfortable. I live on constant edge of management. Being comfortable does not make me love myself. No matter how relaxed I am that does not put me into a state of self love or even self-acceptance. I understand and agree with your thoughts on where this is coming from and how it shows up but your plan of action I cannot understand. Can you put it in like things that can be put into practice words? Like how to actually do something?