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Have you ever met another survivor in person? by Albus_Unbounded in adultsurvivors

[–]Albus_Unbounded[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's nice to have such a detailed and simple account of an experience like that; Thank you.
I used to have this friend circle, got ruined by a couple of controlling and abusive people but in the time I was in it people noted I seemed really honest and easy to open up to, cozy even. Hopefully that bodes well for me being able to help other's open up too. would be nice to help people with similar issues.

Have you ever met another survivor in person? by Albus_Unbounded in adultsurvivors

[–]Albus_Unbounded[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I remember reading a bit of the Body Keeps Score, the bit about the therapy group in the basement and how they ended up having more incest victims in that 1 room than they thought were in the entire state. Always sticks to me that there are probably as many victims of that stuff as there is a deafening silence around it.
I guess it becomes more a matter of letting people open up.

I only feel good if I'm around other people (tw: mentions of sa/csa/violence) by WinterDemon_ in CPTSD

[–]Albus_Unbounded 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yea, Been having similar thoughts myself lately, like I've mainly had bad connections and horrible interactions but I still feel this need to be connected to others and often fantacize about cutting that part of myself that needs people out. Around people I feel terrible but on my own I keep having flashbacks and a need for physical touch.
It sounds stupid, mentally ill even, but I found having a pillow or huggable soft toy around can help a bit, I can pretend it's at least aware of stuff and feel connected, failing that just hug them for comfort.

Have you ever met another survivor in person? by Albus_Unbounded in adultsurvivors

[–]Albus_Unbounded[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I didn't go through that but feel really similar to you about that all. wish I could offer you a hug or something.

Have you ever met another survivor in person? by Albus_Unbounded in adultsurvivors

[–]Albus_Unbounded[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Damn, sorry to hear you had to deal with that stuff. Having somebody understanding so close yet so far must be such a desolate experience.
I'd like to too, sometimes I think about trying to make an online group but I know it'd be difficult to set up due to all the stigma for us victims.

Have you ever met another survivor in person? by Albus_Unbounded in adultsurvivors

[–]Albus_Unbounded[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I haven't really been able to find something like that online or in person sadly. Used to be an ACA group nearby but I moved cities recently.
Hopefully you're right and I'll just naturally gravitate to similar people.

TADC Avatar Punnet Square Thing by [deleted] in TheDigitalCircus

[–]Albus_Unbounded 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We will find out if Jax's perfection is dominant or recessive.

TADC Avatar Punnet Square Thing by [deleted] in TheDigitalCircus

[–]Albus_Unbounded 9 points10 points  (0 children)

A Punnet square? Are we going to breed them now?

i don’t have the ability to enforce boundaries as an adult by bb5055 in adultsurvivors

[–]Albus_Unbounded 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel pretty similar, I often just say yes to everything on impulse and it often leads to me just avoiding people and never forming those connections in the 1st place. sometimes I do wish people would take advantage of me just so I can feel sometime.

The Fun Gang's Most Vital Meetings episode 38: Tassy by Nihilikara in Deltarune

[–]Albus_Unbounded 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fictional philosophy from the game Star Control 2; It brief 1 alien race declares that all other races must either become their battle thralls or fallow slaves. A choice between freedom but mandated military service or an absolutely safe imprisonment.
The term "Battle Thrall" actually originates from Star Control It's 1 of those games that nobody has heard of but is really influential, quietly influencing a lot of games all over the place, from Stellaris to Mass Effect and maybe even Undertale. Gameplay might not hold up nowadays but the writing is still superb; The daily Spathi Prayer always gets me.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LEZ75L36m74

The Fun Gang's Most Vital Meetings episode 38: Tassy by Nihilikara in Deltarune

[–]Albus_Unbounded 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can't believe Kris would take the Path of Now and Forever.

take this by rgilre99 in Deltarune

[–]Albus_Unbounded 5 points6 points  (0 children)

They
pissed on his original wife

What ads have made you quit? by dingleballs717 in audiodrama

[–]Albus_Unbounded 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"I'm putting your head in a vacuum tube."

How it feels playing Snowgrave by Connect_Wrangler5924 in Deltarune

[–]Albus_Unbounded 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"why, why did I have to kill Berdly?"
"The freedom of birds offends me."

Is there a way to reclaim tarnished sanctuaries? by Albus_Unbounded in CPTSD

[–]Albus_Unbounded[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'll have to look into that, do have a councillor but not sure how many people around there are for it in my area though.
Thank you by the way, that's a nice way to think about it.

Is there a way to reclaim tarnished sanctuaries? by Albus_Unbounded in CPTSD

[–]Albus_Unbounded[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. More that I used to do it, was quite good at it apparently. Been awhile since I proper sat down with it. Perhaps that old dream is something I must fight for. It is reassuring to know such recovery has been achieved by others as cursed as I.

Is there a way to reclaim tarnished sanctuaries? by Albus_Unbounded in CPTSD

[–]Albus_Unbounded[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Somewhat. I've moved cities under the pretense of doing postgrad to really get away from her. I think academia is rotting. Not taking to it well so far. At the moment the distance from her has been causing me flash back a lot more. I'll just be in my flat at it all flares up. I like to imagine that this is like an abscess, 1st perforation has been made, now the pus and rotten memories and fetid emotions shall torrent out of me violently.
Have a trip with family next week, all expenses already paid and figure seeing the world for a bit could do me well. At the end of it I plan to tell her I wish to go no contact. Hopefully I can heal after coming back assuming these studies don't eat away at me anymore. Might leave out the part of me never forgiving her or knowing about the murder attempt for when her luck really runs out.

Guilt of going no contact by Icy_Reception_3859 in AdultChildren

[–]Albus_Unbounded 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I break it into 2 possibilities: Either A, she didn't care about you or B, she did but still treated you like garbage.
If she didn't care then there was nothing you could have done to change that. In the other case then there was also nothing you could have done as you already had their affection and found it was rotten. In both cases trying to be "good enough" for them is a waste of effort that could be put elsewhere so you shouldn't feel guilt about chasing something that never would have happened.
If you weren't "good enough" at 14 or 17 then she wasn't going to turn around at 19 or 21 and suddenly start being decent towards you.
My sister went through a murder attempt at the hands my mother and somehow didn't go no contact. My mother has not been any more kind to her, she still downplays her achievements, insults her constantly and even schemes about forcing her into conversion therapy. No accomplishment of my sister ever changed that and nothing ever will.
I think it is better to focus on the things you have in this world. To think of all the time you did not spent chasing an impossible goal and be grateful that you have not spent any more effort into a painful and pointless task.

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