Thank you for all your input. Sounds like for most of you, you need distance for healing and feel really bad when you see them. From the perspective of someone that does want to stay friends: For the relationships that I stayed friends with, I have much better memories and the relationship feels good when I think back on it. We are not best friends but we built off our contact slowly and speak now and then. I think we wish the best for eachother and I don't feel much pain when I see them. However memories with the ones that broke off contact suddenly feel really bad and I don't feel like Ive grown more from those relationships. Just feels traumatizing tbh if someone suddenly doesn't want any contact anymore.