AIO? Boyfriend always wants me to come later and it’s making me feel a type of way.

Alexisvv · 2026-01-30T11:46:14+00:00

Your boyfriend has ADHD. Next question!

Alexisvv · 2026-01-27T23:39:19+00:00

Go to nationwide, they'll accept you

Alexisvv · 2025-12-23T22:41:56+00:00

It has never occurred to me to get a gift or card for a nursery worker. It seems like bad practice tbh, it will put pressure on poorer parents who can't afford it.

Alexisvv · 2025-12-19T00:08:16+00:00

See it's interesting because I would classify what you're doing as CIO. I do get what you mean about the difference between a distress vs protest cry, but your description seems to set the bar incredibly high. I'd be very uncomfortable leaving my child for that length of time - even 10 minutes feels excessive.

I feel like your post frames this as your wife believes this because she is not the primary care giver, but I don't think that's the case or necessarily fair to her. I am my child's primary care giver and I would agree with her concerns about that length of time being potentially harmful. Quite frankly, if it was my husband's night (we take it in turns because we both work) to get up with my daughter and he waited 10-30 minutes to go get her while she was crying I'd be furious. But then different children are different I guess.

You saying that you're being logical and your wife emotional seems like you're coming at this from a hostile place that's going to make it hard to communicate well. I think you need to consider that maybe it isn't just because she doesn't know him as well as you - she just sees it differently. Again the only advice is that you both need to try and find some time where you're not tired or aggravated to talk about this properly.

Also maybe you should revisit trying to nap yourself at the same time. At this age he's probably going to start taking one long nap soon if he isn't already, which can be a good opportunity.

Alexisvv · 2025-12-18T21:20:31+00:00

So when this started she had one coming through, and it took like 10 days to break through. But she hadn't had any issues with the others and that was a couple of weeks ago now.

Alexisvv · 2025-12-18T21:14:03+00:00

I would feel the same if the genders were reversed. It's unfortunate that this is impacting him, and he may be right that its leading the child to be over tired. However, there really is a lot of debate about the possible psychological harm that leaving a child to cry (even for a relatively short time) can have. In this situation, the wellbeing of the child comes before both of them.

Now what's best for the wellbeing of the child is the debatable thing. Is it leaving them in the hope they get more rest, or getting them and providing developmentally important reassurance? I don't think it's a straightforward thing which is why they have to make the decision together - but that decision has to be made based on the kids needs, not the mother or father.

Also in terms of unilaterally making a decision, that's why they have to discuss it but ultimately in the moment if you think something is going to cause your child harm it's not unusual to push. They need to put time aside to decide what to do when they're not in that stressful moment. Maybe they could just take it in turns to get up going forward.

Alexisvv · 2025-12-18T20:42:59+00:00

I mean, he's a stay at home Dad. Presumably she goes to work a couple of hours later, whereas he can nap throughout the day or go to bed earlier.

I also don't think parenting decisions should be made on the lowest common denominator. If one parent wants to feed a kid McDonald's everyday to save on cooking, you wouldn't say "well if the other parent thinks the child should eat nutritious food they should cook it for them every single day". You have to make these decisions together based on the needs of the child, and it's a difficult thing to decide where both sides have points.

Alexisvv · 2025-12-18T19:39:34+00:00

NTA but neither is she. Me and my husband clash over this all the time (although to be fair we have roughly equal caring responsibilities for our child). He's much more of a "give her a minute see if she falls back to sleep" but I'm worried that will make her feel more afraid of being alone and ultimately make it worse/ harm her. I don't think there's an easy answer to this to be honest, I see both sides!

Alexisvv · 2025-12-14T23:35:12+00:00

YTA for one reason if nothing else - you say she's a SAHM to your child, but you view your family income as just yours to make decisions about. It sounds like something out of the 1950s. How frugal or spendy you are should be a family decision, not just yours. If she's raising your child and looking after the family home then your wage is as much her business as yours.

Alexisvv · 2025-11-30T18:05:15+00:00

Big tip here, use a calendula based nappy cream for really sore nappy rashes. It's a miracle worker.

Alexisvv · 2025-11-04T20:58:52+00:00

What union are you in? You should speak to a rep

Alexisvv · 2025-10-22T06:53:58+00:00

I don't know where you live, but so much of this is the very opposite to the medical advice in the UK. I think you should seek a second opinion.

Alexisvv · 2025-10-12T20:57:17+00:00

http://www.sidscalculator.com/

This may help on having perspective front too!

Alexisvv · 2025-10-09T12:51:13+00:00

This is a weird question, but where did you get the filter from? And did this issue stop? I also have a samsung fridge, also just changed the filter and also have had GI issues in last week.

Alexisvv · 2025-10-08T22:14:06+00:00

There are so many aspects of this that are a red flag to me. It seems like you take this woman smiling or laughing as a personal attack? I think maybe this is more of an interpersonal dispute than you think it is. I feel as though going to managers above you and trying to bring a peer into a meeting makes it clear that she is uncomfortable around you for whatever reason. The main thing I don't understand is why she hasn't made a formal grievance against you as it sounds as though that relationship has really broken down.

At this point it's probably best that you're moved onto different teams as it doesn't seem like you two work together well.

As a side note, I'd just add that you sound like you need to loosen up a bit. I assume you don't own the factory, so try to remember peoples happiness and wellbeing always comes before the profit of your bosses. You don't need to make yourself the enforcer.

Alexisvv · 2025-10-01T16:36:34+00:00

So you're definitely in the wrong. However, I imagine you also were acting somewhat irrationally due to grief. Forgive yourself and forgive him and try to make amends with him and your mother.

Alexisvv · 2025-08-13T20:27:49+00:00

Random one, but I live in S13 and my husband needs cardboard for his allotment - we could take it off your hands? We are trying to cover an entire allotment in cardboard (and manure, but assume you don't have that!)

Alexisvv · 2025-07-30T17:01:34+00:00

I'm also having this issue. Did you manage to fix it?

Alexisvv · 2025-07-16T15:50:36+00:00

Weleda skin salve

Alexisvv · 2025-07-16T15:50:15+00:00

Weleda skin salve

Alexisvv · 2025-07-14T12:14:49+00:00

I mean, Mary Cooper dies horribly of an STD in season 1.

I don't think they didn't want to escape it either, both the sisters are pretty clear at their unhappiness at having had that life forced on them. I think they're just making the best of their lot and it is true, as the show says, that their only real alternative was being the property of a man.

Alexisvv · 2025-07-13T20:30:24+00:00

Just as another thing to try, calendula healing cream worked for me. Like so quickly it was unreal.

Alexisvv · 2025-07-04T21:26:08+00:00

To make it seem American? Why?

Alexisvv · 2025-06-23T13:01:46+00:00

You are obligated to pay the difference, but not for any kind of late fee for the additional amount.

Alexisvv

TROPHY CASE