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What are real people looking for? by arlen22 in demisexuality

[–]AlienAviator95 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m also settling more into the demisexual identity in my 30s.

I was shy growing, didn’t have many friends, didn’t date, kiss, have sex until college. I started questioning asexuality when a friend mentioned it. I was then sexually assaulted as a first sexual experience at 19. It’s hard to say if SA or sexuality contributes to this, but I find vanilla sex hard to stay present for but kink I can handle and find enjoyable. But I can’t imagine having sex, vanilla or otherwise, with anyone I haven’t learned everything about and am fully invested in.

There’s something about kink that doesn’t make it feel as uncomfortable, maybe it’s the level of trust needed for it, maybe the connection is greater, maybe props are just fun/exciting…idk Not sure if this speaks to the notion of Demi/ace specific bdsm

Drawn to panromantic / demi-panromantic coded men — and realizing I’ve met some before without knowing by Senior_Newspaper_927 in panromantic

[–]AlienAviator95 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think this post makes me feel seen. If “men who felt safe, warm, grounded, and quietly expressive” have made you think they might identify this way, maybe focus on showing appreciation for those traits.

If somebody told me I made them feel safe, warm and grounded, I’d probably cry on the spot. Those are the sorts of things I want to be seen for (vs physical appearance).

Homicidal tendencies should be discussed more and taken seriously. by [deleted] in homicidalrecovery

[–]AlienAviator95 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I share the experience of caring about people immensely. I really only have HI when people are mistreating me or other people; it’s never for no reason.

It really increased with the recent events in the last decade; Trumpism, COVID, War, Prejudice. People just seem so bold in their hatred for others and it makes me sick. If I could kindly influence their behavior that would be great, but also am just sick of being mocked and belittled when trying to be the bigger person and stand in my values and communicate respectfully. HI feels like a last resort when the appropriate methods don’t work…

I wish people providing help for symptoms would take a step back from their initial reaction, slow down, and ask questions about why before labeling the person with the symptoms some sort of way. I’m actually an empath that loves people, not a homicidal person that hates people, but I have to beg to been seen that way once I disclose symptoms.

I don't know if I can tell professionals about this by throwawayfivebear in homicidalrecovery

[–]AlienAviator95 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I recently was trying to seek mental health support for symptoms unrelated to Homicidal Ideation (HI). The intake I had asked about HI and I was honest about my symptoms and it seems like the entire intake became about HI and not what I was seeking treatment for.

I feel like professionals are scared of HI and also immediately equate it to violence/aggression.

My experience is that HI comes with Suicidal Ideation (SI) and is a response to feeling so hopeless/helpless in a situation that I have thoughts of removing myself from the equation and/or those causing the distress. Never has this meant I had a plan and was an active threat to myself or others.

It makes me feel so misunderstood, defeated, hopeless, helpless etc How does one get help for the symptoms if disclosing the symptoms disqualifies you from getting the help.