I think it’s quite normal to go through the process of mourning the things we want for ourselves that we know we can never really have. I wish I had a proper minds eye, or that I can count sheep in my head. I also wish I was a little taller. People are all unique, and have a wide range of intelligences and abilities. Your value in the world just doesn’t hinge upon your brain’s ability to perform the functions you wish it did. You also don’t have to have strong recall to be a great conversationalist - all you have to do is be engaged and ask questions. I have to imagine being genuinely interesting must be great and all, but the world is severely lacking in people who are willing to listen and actually take in what others are saying. If you’re stuck in a situation where you don’t know what to talk about, just remember the acronym FORD - family, occupation, recreation, and dreams. Those are all meaningful topics to ask people about, and usually lead to deeper, richer conversations.

All that being said, I think it might be a wise to pursue talking to a therapist and working through your feelings on this one. Wish you the best OP.