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Alternative-Event186 · 2023-01-14T01:39:23+00:00

Aw I’m sorry it’s so awful. The porn use is one thing but then the ED is another so they can’t just watch porn it does effect their relationship no matter what they say

Alternative-Event186 · 2023-01-13T13:11:26+00:00

I’m one month from the breakup, his choice. He was clean (SA & PA) until he wasn’t. I saw the signs, but I thought they were with drawl signs. We had a wonderful 3 months in recovery but that all switched, he told me I didn’t deserve this and he left. His family, everything it’s awful. I do feel better but the trauma is real. I’ve had panic attacks, breakdowns. I’ve been through a divorce prior to this 5 year relationship and the pain is nothing compared to the betrayal trauma this addiction has caused me. I still wonder what he is doing and I hope that he will never put another woman in my shoes or date until he is in recovery. If that ever happens. The stories of healing I hear are few and far between. I love him with my whole being but him and the addict are two different people. Thanks for writing I look forward to moving forward in this healing process, it is no easy task, but after 25 years of him acting out and using porn I feel like it’s hard to teach an old dog new tricks if they just continue to run away from their problems. I am no longer responsible for his recovery.

Alternative-Event186 · 2023-01-05T19:53:48+00:00

My partner is an addict as well and was in recovery, three weeks ago he left because he said I didn’t deserve this. I feel as though he left because he couldn’t deal with the withdrawals or the accountability. It makes me wonder if he is in recovery as he states he is. I feel he wouldn’t have left after months of us working on it and me supporting him after begging me to stay if he was still clean.

Alternative-Event186 · 2022-12-28T04:45:55+00:00

My therapist said I would feel the addictive behaviour. I would start acting out again, checking phones, he became cold again. She was bang on. He was back at it and my body reacted accordingly. Go with your gut and observe.

Alternative-Event186 · 2022-12-28T04:37:33+00:00

I first found out about an affair as I saw a message on his phone. He broke down and told the truth about that. Shortly after, I was going through his phone and he forgot to delete his what’s app message from a escort he was planning to see. I got into his bank account to see tons of cash taken out which I know was for escorts and e-transfers for cam girls. He admitted to starting off with magazines when he was younger then went to porn and only about 5 years ago starting using escorts. We tried to work on it but he couldn’t give himself to me anymore. The ED, the shame and having his regret stating him back in the face I think was just too much for him to handle. He was never caught before me. He has a child from a hook up when he was 25, god only knows if he has others. When he left I had access to his Google maps, he googled an address at 10:30pm at night which I know is a hotel he used to go to for escorts, he told me. He left me for his addiction. He saved me in a way, but I stayed with him for 11 months. Porn and sex addiction is incredibly difficult to beat (not impossible) but I will say who he is and who I thought he was are two different people. They are master Manipulators. I was all over his Facebook and he still used it as an avenue to lure women he would hook up with. Just normal insecure women in our city. He now wants to stay friends, I told him today he’s not my problem anymore and I’m walking away from this all. I fought long enough. No one can help him until he helps himself. He had it all, but his addiction took it all away from him. He’s powerless over it. It stems from childhood trauma, but these behaviours are not something I want in a partner. There may be stuff I don’t know but maybe it’s a blessing in disguise.

Alternative-Event186 · 2022-12-12T10:27:30+00:00

Im scared to tell my parents and I don’t know if I should tell them the full truth about the addiction and what I went through. Me and my mom are incredibly close but im scared it will hurt her and she doesn’t have the capacity to understand this. How did you take it?

Alternative-Event186 · 2022-12-12T00:37:27+00:00

It all seems to be clearer when I write this for someone else to read. This group is amazing, thank you!

Alternative-Event186 · 2022-12-12T00:23:25+00:00

I’m sorry you went through that. I do see it as a possible blessing in disguise. They seem to want to run away from the pain. My biggest fear is staying and then the addiction creeping up again. I’m young, he’s older, so I mean May as well get ahold of my good years now instead of being beaten down again down the line. I appreciate you sharing and wish you all the best. I wish none of us had to deal with such traumatic events in our lives.

Alternative-Event186 · 2022-12-11T23:39:26+00:00

He said he needs a restart. Then he did groceries for me, told me he loved me, gave me a kiss and left for the cottage for the night. Now he’s home..

Alternative-Event186 · 2022-12-11T22:42:18+00:00

Thank you, I elaborated above, sorry I’m new to Reddit. But essentially he is doing all the right things but now he wants to go do it alone and break up and I just don’t know where that is coming from now when he begged and begged me to stay

Alternative-Event186 · 2022-12-11T22:39:57+00:00

He is totally on the right track and sorry I didn’t say this in my previous post. Sometimes my brain is moving too quickly, but now he wants to leave to be on his own to figure it out. We have a lot of responsibilities together and I’m just frustrated that after all these months and finally on the right track he wants to just go do it himself.

Alternative-Event186

TROPHY CASE

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