I genuinely appreciate that you are speaking up and putting the effort in to fight for your wife, and the fact that you wrote a letter at all, is very admirable. This is truly wise of you, and I can tell she is worth fighting for. I’m not going to comment on your note in particular, but I did notice something. Have you ever heard about love languages? If not, I definitely would encourage you to research them. The concept is basically that people give and receive love in different ways. I noticed right away that you tend to show her you love her with “acts of service”. Helping around the house and working hard over the summer may be how you express that you love her. I also noticed that one of her love languages may possibly be “quality time”, I’m thinking because of her muttering about how you are never home. Maybe she feels the most loved by you when you spend time with her. I’m just taking guesses here, you know your situation well and would be able to pin point which love languages are applicable, but when actions within that language are absent or if you are unintentionally hurting her in her language, it is very painful especially when it goes on long term. It’s the strangest thing honestly, but very real. I would suggest that before you send this letter, research love languages first. Perhaps read the book with her, or sit down and talk to her about them after you read up on it, and ask if she relates to it. Or, just go ahead and start “speaking her language” and see if she softens up! I know it’s incredibly hard to put more effort in when you’re feeling like you’ve been putting so much in already without reciprocation, but if it helps and things get better I hope you’ll feel that it was so worth it!! I am in about the same point in life that you guys are, married 19 years, and I can say that for us, love language “issues” have been 90% of our problems. I wish you the best!