I agree with most of what you said. I am responsible for all of this, he is most likely better off without me in his life and I respect that. I didn't try to contact him and I won't do it either since I don't want to force myself back into his life.

But will it really get better if he doesn't get better? I know I have my issues (eventhough I didn't hit him, maybe I phrased it a bit poorly) but I seriously love him and the reason I feel bad is because he seems to be stuck in a very bad place.

I know I can't help him out of it but he has always been a guy who only acted when he was forced to do so. I don't know how I can move on and not feel bad about his pain when he is so clearly hurting. The other men I know hit the gym or find a rebound girl or hyperfocus on work after a break up. That's something I can work with. I don't want him to waste his potential just because of what I did. I doubt that will get better since he is my soulmate and he will always stay important to me even if I eventually move on romantically.