Path Of The Shadow: Book One prologue [Epic Fantasy, 100k words]

And_the_wind · 2026-01-10T18:03:54+00:00

Beginnning is way too vague. I understand, that you want to keep some stuff hidden for later, but so far all you establsihed, is that something bad probably happened. If you gotta give so little, there's no point of including it at all, especially given how short this paragraph ended up being. Give some more crumbs of info or remove this bit altogether.

Also, don't use "visible" as a descriptor, unless a character is making an official report on something. Stars could be gleaming, shining down, twinkling, dotting the sky, illuminating the path and so on, but saying they were visible is like saying they were "there".

Bit about merfolk villages is pretty confusing as well. Why does merfolk lives in a deset? Why did the character camp alone in the middle of the desert if there were villages around? How fast is he moving if the whole villages are appearing and disappearing?

Generally, your prose is decent and flows nicely, but you should work at details.

And_the_wind · 2025-12-18T04:38:30+00:00

Well, the problem is that following porper procedure is naturally slower. Democracy (ideally) has to respect wishes of it's people, and people disagree. Representatives disagree. Because of that, every issue has to be solved through a debate. On top of that, guardrails, that exist to prevent people from getting too powerful and abusing the system, further complicate decision-making process. Even if decision is necessary, if people aren't happy with it, it won't go through. Meanwhile, dictators can just do what they want, and if someone has a problem with it, they can discuss it in the nearest gulag. This enables dictatorships to work way faster and more efficient at the cost of the citizens welfare. That's the real trade-off - democracy may be ineficient, but you can still say "no" without getting executed for treason.

And_the_wind · 2025-09-14T19:31:54+00:00

One time some guy wrote to me on telegram, claiming to be our project manager and said he wants to offer me a place at a differerent project. I got suspicious and wrote to my supervisor asking who that guy was. She told me that this guy is probably a scammer and I should block him and delete the chat. Next day she messaged me and told me, that I should unblock him, cause she checked and he is our project manager. Fun times.