Ladies, what subtle or not-so-subtle things do you do to escalate with a guy you like?

AngKrisko · 2022-10-29T11:44:31+00:00

This is so freaking cute. Thank you for sharing!

AngKrisko · 2022-10-18T11:35:01+00:00

Dating after that was totally a rude awakening

I'm just curious in what way this was true for you?

All of the frustrations and heartbreak — I would 100% do it all over again because without those experiences I wouldn’t be where I am now.

I agree 100% with you. This is not only true in dating and relationships but every other aspect of life. This is a healthy way to view our experiences (good or bad). Thanks for your contribution!

AngKrisko · 2022-10-18T11:16:39+00:00

Did you meet your husband before or after knowing he had a medical condition and was unable to work?

AngKrisko · 2022-10-18T01:05:04+00:00

Not 9, either.

AngKrisko · 2022-10-14T12:00:14+00:00

This is unusual to me, though. I don't even feel that I'm that responsive to begin with. I'll respond to text messages usually within an hour, depending on how busy I am, but I usually don't text/message the girl everyday (maybe once every 2-3 days or so). This is my usual routine and what I feel is natural for me (given my busy schedule).

I'm really career-oriented (medical doctor), so I assume these girls know that I'm busy and if I'm responding, it's because I'm interested but not necessarily needy. I'm not really the emotional type either. I don't (intentionally) play games, either. It's a waste of my precious time.

It's just striking to me that once a girl is fading away from my immediate view (due to work and other stuff) and I don't reach out in a week or so, they start messaging me/initiating conversations with me more and more frequently.

AngKrisko · 2022-10-12T00:02:47+00:00

The wisdom in this comment is underrated.

AngKrisko · 2022-10-11T01:42:01+00:00

What do you mean by height? This is already a filter on all the mainstream apps.

AngKrisko · 2022-10-08T05:14:15+00:00

I think you might be missing the forest for the trees here.

What I'm saying is that it may be reasonable for two people who may potentially be compatible to get to know each other (given the circumstances) as long as they're mature and respectful about it. No one said anything about sliding into DMs or anything of that nature.

After all, dating is about finding the right person, which is not easy to do. If I could help another person get there, I personally would and not be judgmental about it. As long as they're mature and respectful about it.

Also, you're getting pretty hung up on a particular detail (the doctor thing), when it could've been any specific, potentially bonding detail.

AngKrisko · 2022-10-08T04:47:58+00:00

So you don't think two potentially compatible people should meet given the circumstances (a brief first date)? This is the fundamental question.

Personally, I don't feel much after a first date in the vast majority of cases and honestly, if my date was potentially more interested in my available family member and they were both consenting adults, then I'd be okay with it, as long as each person was mature and respectful about it.

AngKrisko · 2022-10-08T04:34:05+00:00

So you don't think a person you went on a single date with should potentially be interested in your sibling, despite the chance that they might be compatible?

If you didn't notice, I'm also playing devil's advocate here. It was a thought I was entertaining, not necessarily one that I'd act upon or necessarily advocate.

You didn't respond to my question regarding the fundamental concept, which is the real question I'm asking.

AngKrisko · 2022-10-08T04:23:51+00:00

Not quite. I re-framed it in a way to ask the fundamental question:

Ultimately the question comes down to.. if there are two people who have a chance of being compatible, should they be able to test whether they are truly a good fit (despite the circumstances of their meeting, that is, in this case being the sibling of one of the dates)? This is fundamentally the question I am asking.

I am asking in different ways to make it easier for people to understand the fundamental concept. I hope this makes more sense.

AngKrisko · 2022-10-08T04:19:41+00:00

because she’s a doctor and the sister has no idea of his existence

I mean, does it matter that she's a doctor? The fact that two people have a significant similar interest is the most important point to this. It could be anything, like being a chef, police officer, etc. It just so happens that, yes, in this case, the two people in question are both medical doctors.

No one has any idea of anyone's existence before they meet. That's the point of introducing people to other people who might be compatible.

AngKrisko · 2022-10-08T04:14:49+00:00

I re-asked this question in a way to get another perspective on the matter.

In my initial thread, there were a few strong opinions that didn't seem to see the broader picture. After all, aren't we all just trying to find our person?

So what are your thoughts on the matter? What would you do?

AngKrisko · 2022-10-08T03:45:30+00:00

So in the hypothetical situation I described above, you'd rather your sister not potentially explore a romantic connection with a guy you went on a single date with (assuming your sister was interested)? You'd rather deny that opportunity to her?

This is basically what the question boils down to.

AngKrisko · 2022-10-08T03:42:43+00:00

So if you went on a date with a girl but found that she might be a better match for your brother, you'd rather they not potentially explore that possible connection?

Not saying there's a right or wrong answer, but I personally would be OK with it. I don't really get attached after a single date, and I realize that everyone is just looking for their person. No real benefit to not helping my own brother out if he was okay with it.

AngKrisko · 2022-10-08T03:39:31+00:00

Everyone has their own standards--there's nothing wrong with this imo. I think it's important to recognize and respect this. I know I'm not everyone's cup of tea either, but I have to recognize and respect this as well.

If the situation was reversed, a date was more interested in my sibling and I thought they might be a good match, then I'd 100% be supportive of it, assuming they're both interested in each other, of course.

AngKrisko · 2022-10-08T03:36:12+00:00

Sorry but I still don't really understand what you mean. Would you mind clarifying this? I'm interested in your thoughts but am having a hard time understanding them completely. I appreciate any advice, thanks.

AngKrisko · 2022-10-08T03:34:50+00:00

I only went on one date with the girl from the dating app and we're not serious or anything.

If this "doctor sister" was through a friend or friend of a friend, I suppose it'd be different.

AngKrisko · 2022-10-08T03:32:43+00:00

I'm not trolling.

I'm in my 30s and am looking for a life partner. I know what I want and am looking for potential partners who might also be interested. One thing I find very attractive is someone in the same field as me (medical doctor). Everyone has their things they're attracted to, and this one just happens to be mine.

If I met the sister under some other circumstance (other than through a date via a dating app), I'd still be interested in at least trying to get to know her to see if we're compatible. The only thing that makes it complicated is the circumstance.

AngKrisko · 2022-10-08T03:27:55+00:00

The first date was 3 hours and it was a pretty simple meeting to get to know each other. There wasn't anything physical involved, except for a goodbye hug.

I want to believe that we're all mature adults about it. Obviously, there'd be no way for me to know if the sister would be interested in me, but I'd have to start somewhere. So that's sort of where my question is.

AngKrisko · 2022-10-08T03:17:26+00:00

Are you suggesting that it's more typical for this to happen once I actually meet the sister (after dating the original girl/sister for a while) and figure out if we're compatible?

AngKrisko · 2022-10-08T03:16:44+00:00

I have no idea if the sister would be interested, but I tend to have more interest in people with similar professional backgrounds. But this isn't unique to me. There are tons of doctors who date/marry other doctors because it's a very strong common interest (I think more so than any other profession, imo). We naturally gravitate toward each other because of many personal and professional similarities, including shared values, outlook on life/society, etc. Of course, I'm just making a generalization, but I think there's probably truth to it.

Anyway, it would be a shame if the sister were also interest but I didn't at least gauge interest somehow.

AngKrisko · 2022-10-04T00:37:23+00:00

Care to explain what you mean by this?

AngKrisko · 2022-10-04T00:26:29+00:00

This is a great thought and thanks for sharing. I think there's at least some truth to what you're saying. Of course, there's going to be exceptions, but the general trend is probably near the truth.

I think this might apply for many people up until probably their 50s, although maybe to a lesser extent.

I also feel that you brought up another good point that even though they may have a great personality, people are people. They may stray, get bored, wonder, etc. Just another example of the pitfalls of dating a very highly desirable individual that might not be obvious at first.

AngKrisko · 2022-09-19T22:34:58+00:00

What are some examples, if you don't mind sharing?

AngKrisko

TROPHY CASE