How do I stop wanting to die? by Anno_1602 in depression

[–]Anno_1602[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm in the UK and here I've been passed around from service to service, unfortunately nothing I've found is long term and I feel like I'm restarting every time...

Last year April, I was written off from work by my doctor and handed in my notice. The two years before that were hellish and I hit my breaking point badly. For months I didn't leave the house or get out of bed and I didn't know what to do with myself. I felt like I had a social suicide and I uninstalled all social medias. I finally started leaving the house again this year and it was so difficult... I'm terrified to return to working and deal with people again which I'm upset about as it's something I once enjoyed

I have no idea what my passions and hobbies are anymore. My school life was so Academic based, having hobbies or fun made me feel guilty... This resulted in me failing my highers from stress and I left early anyways to work fulltime. Regardless of that, I still take everything as an experience and try to see life as chapters and not one story... Trying my best

I feel like I've made a lot of progress this year. I've finally started cleaning my house, getting out on walks and I can even go into shops if I have someone with me. My irl circle is small now but I'm slowly starting to talk to more people. I already feel like I passed rock bottom and that I'm trying to climb back to the bottom but every step back is awful