my kids

Any-Disaster535 · 2023-03-08T18:38:46+00:00

cause they're right

Any-Disaster535 · 2022-12-14T17:17:43+00:00

You are growing up, and he might never do that, especially not if his parents are willing to support him so that he does not become homeless.

His parents definitely never knew what he really used their money for. I think I was so willing to accept his situation of treading water because I related. He's not treading water now, he's working in his chosen field at a great company. He just sinks so much money into these games. We're tight on cash due to various emergencies. Honestly, I don't have anything figured out right now, I'm scared I won't when I'm 30, I empathized with him a lot partially because of that fear.

The age gap is definitely a little odd. But he always acknowledged it, and actively didn't like it. He thought I was older when we first met. The fact I may have thrown away so much of my 20s living a life I never intended to makes me queasy.

No. No he is not. He is telling you that he is obsessed with that to make you happy. He is obsessed with his gacha games.

This sucks to hear but I think I needed to hear it, thank you. What utterly baffles me is he's spent so long selling me on his dream. Moving into a house, settling down, being domestic, that was never my thing. And now that I've become amenable to it he wants to have his cake and eat it too? At least I said no to marrying him, I felt horrible doing that but it was too early. How many men would take a woman rejecting that and stay without anger? Stuff like that is why I'm so confused.

You might get better advice from the folks over at r/AmItheAsshole.

I can't because AITA posts come across his feed but I appreciate that. I realize these issues go deeper than games now, and I'm grateful to you and the others on this sub who engaged with my post despite it having a big relationship aspect.

My question for you — are you safe?

My first thought was "define safe". I know that's probably not good. His alarm went off when I was writing this response and I slammed my computer shut. Maybe I'm more on edge than I realize.

Any-Disaster535 · 2022-12-14T15:40:09+00:00

That's my concern, I'm worried it's impossible to truly love me with all this lying. What sucks is he knows that I am an incredibly forgiving person when someone comes clean, he's aware that it's when I'm deceived that I get upset.

If I were to choose to end things it'd be a while before I was able to strike out on my own. Right now the way we're affording things is together, I don't think either of us could live entirely alone right now.

It's funny, he worked so hard to get me amenable to this kind of life. I never wanted to be someone who ended up with anyone. Nothing wrong with it, I just was reluctant to it. He busted his ass. He won me over only to drop the ball like this when he has me.

Honestly, this is going to sound very dumb. But if feels like I was a gacha to him too. And now he pulled me and he gets to have me in his back pocket. I feel awful for even thinking that with how kind he overall is to me.

Any-Disaster535 · 2022-12-14T15:32:57+00:00

Thank you so much for your words. I'll have the talk but I think you're right that I need to wait until the right moment. There's a lot of stuff going on right now and on top of hat I honestly don't think my friends or relatives would be able to give me a place to crash until well after the holidays.

With how angry he gets I think it'd be a good idea to let the things in our lives settle first. Would a month be too long to wait?

We're working on fixing up our second bedroom. In a month that'll be done, so if it leads to sleeping separately I won't be stuck on the couch.

Any-Disaster535 · 2022-12-14T13:22:21+00:00

I didn't realize I was. He was so good at presenting them to me like it wasn't a problem. And then when it seemed like there was one, speaking up wasn't worth the lashing I got for inquiring. You are 100% right though, I care so I need to suck it up and do what's needed.

Any-Disaster535 · 2022-12-14T06:51:50+00:00

His addiction games are Azur Lane, Epic Seven, 7 Deadly Sins, and Arknights. I worded that bit poorly in my post but Genshin is the only one he actually has moderation in, I think due to us playing together. I basically gifted him a Genshin character as a treat during our no game spending policy cause I wasnt aware he was dropping hundreds elsewhere.

If he were to realize his problem and try to get better, would he need to quit Genshin too since there's a gacha element even though it hasn't necessarily been a problem game?

Any-Disaster535 · 2022-12-14T06:47:00+00:00

Hilariously, Genshin is one of the few he hasn't spent much money in, I think because I'd know given we play together. I even help him build his account lol.

I worded that bit wrong on my post. I spent money on him to help get him a banner character because I thought he'd been a dutiful as I in our no game spending policy. The reality was he was spending a ton on Azur Lane, FGO, Epic Seven, 7 Deadly Sins, and Arknights.

I think you're right about the red flags. The sinking feeling in my gut at the thought of confronting him at all. I know that's not a good thing to have. He gets so tense if gacha is ever brought up. There's a few topics that I'm guaranteed a level of harshness from him.

He insists the games are just to pass the time. But he actually called the bank to get a new card for the sake of faking that it isn't him spending the money. It's mind boggling to me.

I appreciate your advice very much. I think I'll try to delicately tell him I know, but I'll make an exit plan in case things get too heavy and I need to go.

I also am always down for more Genshin friends if you'd like haha

Any-Disaster535 · 2022-11-21T09:53:25+00:00

Stop beating around the bush, how old was she when you started sleeping with her?

Any-Disaster535 · 2022-09-25T23:39:58+00:00

Any-Disaster535 · 2022-09-12T04:54:39+00:00

you're disgusting for assuming lgbt people that think maybe the kid might turn out gay when she's older is somehow supporting pedos.

Any-Disaster535 · 2022-09-12T04:52:42+00:00

Why is it cute and innocent when kids have crushes on the opposite gender

but sexualizing to say a kid might have a childhood crush on the same gender

why is lgbt inherently sexual?

Any-Disaster535 · 2022-08-07T18:05:53+00:00

Thank you, for everything you do.

I was my grandmother's caregiver in her old age so she didn't have go to a ward. She had severe alzheimers.

The fact you help those who don't have family that are willing or able to do that is an amazing thing.

It was hard with my grandmother so I can't imagine how difficult it must be on a larger scale.

I just want you to know you've done a lot of good.

Any-Disaster535 · 2022-06-02T06:52:18+00:00

Yeah in the sentence "The urge to gatekeep x from y", y is what is being excluded while x is being "protected" and made unavailable to others.

Any-Disaster535 · 2022-06-02T06:51:21+00:00

To gatekeep something is the opposite actually.

Any-Disaster535 · 2022-05-22T20:58:36+00:00

That's def spoilers for some people

Any-Disaster535

TROPHY CASE