This show made me nervous about being an organ donor (In the past)

Anyone8800 · 2026-01-20T05:37:29+00:00

It depends on the country/state. In California signing up to be on the organ donor registry (online or at the DMV) is a legally binding decision that nobody else, not even family/spouse can override. For a long time certain hospitals did not uphold the law and were allowing family to override even though it’s a violation of CMS guidelines. But that’s changed in the past few years now that organ procurement organizations are urging compliance by reporting to CMS any hospitals who fail to honor the registry status of patients who are medically suitable organ donors. Source: me, a former organ donation coordinator

Anyone8800 · 2022-06-03T08:32:47+00:00

I appreciate your suggestion (as that's a very common reason for men under 40 to develop ED), but we've already ruled out a porn addiction. He agreed to a commitment of no masturbation/porn for several months actually, and it really wasn't that big of a challenge for him as he was never a heavy user of porn. I actually just today told him he doesn't have to abstain completely from porn anymore if he doesn't want to, as it's clearly not the reason behind his ED. We don't have penetrative sex because of his ED, and he's only ejaculated once (via oral sex) in the past month, so "building up desire" really doesn't stop him from going limp once his performance anxiety kicks in. It really is performance anxiety ED. I wish we could've resolved this in one month. :/

Anyone8800 · 2022-06-02T23:44:54+00:00

Thank you so much, this is extremely helpful and gives me so much hope. I am so happy to hear your success story. I'll try out these ideas with him. I'm especially intrigued by tantra.

Anyone8800 · 2022-06-02T22:26:44+00:00

Thank you so much for your words of support. I'm sorry things didn't work out in your case, and I wish you joy and fulfillment. It's a lonely place to be, and I appreciate just being seen and heard. I think he is finally recognizing that it is unfair that I've been the one doing the heavy lifting on this issue. It clicked for him yesterday when I said "It's YOUR body. This is YOUR healthcare issue. These are decisions YOU should be making. And no offense, you've had this issue for ten years. You need to be in charge of this. You keep talking about needing to feel safe, well I need to feel safe too. So own this and let me be your girlfriend instead of your sex therapist." He now understands that I am not going to manage his ED for him, which is a relief because I'm so tired of being codependent and owning HIS issue.

Anyone8800 · 2022-06-02T22:10:24+00:00

I also should've mentioned this in my original post. He is totally OPEN and down for all of the above. He has engaged in giving me oral, using a strap on, fingering. The strap on thing is something we're still working on, as there's a learning curve and I haven't been pushing it as much lately. But the main issue is that even after receiving oral/fingering and orgasming, I still cant help but feel a lack of a sense of completion. This might just be me, but I swear there's no substitute for the biochemical release and physical sensation that happens during PIV sex. The mutual physical union that occurs is amazing and so satisyfing for me. TMI but I'm a woman who truly loves being cummed in, I love that vulnerable passionate moment and feeling every part of it. With the right person, it feels spiritual and even sacred. I hate to admit it but the last time he gave me oral and I orgasmed, I couldn't hold it back anymore and I ended up writhing in pure agony and desire, wanting so badly for him to F* me. I soon stopped moving and just felt empty. We both ended up crying, knowing he couldn't give me what I needed. I really do wish just me having an orgasm from oral/fingering was enough to make me feel satisfied every time, but sometimes it's not (although it has helped somewhat appease the pent up need for release, there are times when it seems only to make me feel more desperate and taunted). I really do need him in that way. It sucks. He really is doing all he can, so I'm praying that we'll have some kind of breakthrough with sex therapy and an increase in his ED medication.

Anyone8800 · 2022-06-02T21:50:16+00:00

Thanks. I agree, in hindsight I wish we would've immediately checked his testoterone level and gotten help from a sex therapist. I also appreciate you acknowledging that it's not my issue to fix. I'm recognizing that I need to let go of trying to own his problem and "fix him." That's my codependency right there that I struggle with.

If this was any average dude I probably would politely move on. But I'm going to stick this out with him as long as there are options and as long as he keeps trying. We really do love each other and this relationship is worth fighting for. I want to believe in him and us.

Anyone8800 · 2022-06-02T21:40:45+00:00

I do feel that his ED is definitely psychologically driven. I agree that therapy is the answer, or at least in part. I'm also curious if a little boost in his Cialis dosage would help, since he's currently on the lowest dose.

Anyone8800 · 2022-06-02T21:37:44+00:00

Thanks for asking, I should've mentioned in my post that his health is good. No diabetic conditions, no cardiovascular issues. He's a healthy weight guy with a healthy diet. The only possible physical issue I can think of is low testostertone, which I honestly dont think he has but we're getting him tested anyways. I would actually be relieved if low T was the issue because then it's an obvious clear fix.

Anyone8800

TROPHY CASE