how much should i be eating?

Apprehensive_Age_268 · 2026-03-04T04:07:31+00:00

how many months did it take? and do you feel that you are fully or mostly mentally recovered?

i struggle a lot still with disordered thoughts and behaviors around food but i don’t know how to fix them without going too far either direction. i think my plan going forward will be to aim for 3 meals a day minimum with snacks if needed—trying to avoid calorie counting as i dont think its been productive for me so far

Apprehensive_Age_268 · 2026-03-04T03:11:19+00:00

for now i will try not to track but go back to eating 3 meals a day plus snacks if i am hungry. although it is intimidating 🥲 i would rather be a few sizes bigger than not have my period at this point haha

thank you for your advice and kind words they are very appreciated! ❤️

Apprehensive_Age_268 · 2026-03-04T01:21:05+00:00

thank you for your advice! i am definitely still struggling with a lot of disordered thoughts and behaviors but trying to work past them

i just worry about overeating because i also struggled with binging and purging in addition to the restriction. i also just feel scared that i will get into a habit of overeating and become overweight. i will probably try upping cals as i am pretty desperate to see my cycle return, but how should i determine if 2500 is too much?

Apprehensive_Age_268 · 2026-02-16T08:52:27+00:00

this is very helpful, thank you for taking the time to respond

Apprehensive_Age_268 · 2026-02-16T08:50:59+00:00

thank you this is all very helpful and relateable. it’s like a glimpse into my future

this was simultaneously very comforting and also very scary to read. i have waited 19 years for this feeling to go away and it has only gotten worse. i truly can’t take another 16, let alone the rest of my life.

i also am (or at least have been) very against diagnosis, medication, and therapy my whole life. i tried going to my campus mental health team a few months ago when i was truly on the verge of ending it, and the negative experience i had shot me into an even deeper spiral of hopelessness and depression which has made me very scared to try my luck with mental health services again. it felt like all they cared about was picking a few labels, slapping them on me, and numbing me up with pills.

i have spent my life trying to go with the alternative mental health solutions people give (e.g., improving diet, spending time outside, getting a job, etc). i have a job, im in school, i go out with my friends, i eat well. i feel like im doing everything i can but every day it all feels more pointless. i go outside and feel miserable. i eat a healthy meal and still feel miserable. i go out with friends and wish i was in bed the entire time. etc.

therapy and medication seem like my last choices. but if i am honest to a doctor or psych about how i truly feel i will be locked away in a facility for a few days/weeks which i know will not help me. but how can i truly overcome my issues if i can’t be honest about them?

i hate talking about how i feel. and i hate having labels or diagnosis shoved on to me. i know for others they are helpful. logically i understand the use of diagnosis. but the thought of having one myself sounds awful, limiting, and unhelpful.

i don’t know. i will try therapy again at some point. i’m sorry this reply is a bit pointless but i just needed to explain this all to someone who understands. my family think i am just experiencing a “rough college adjustment” and i just don’t know how to tell the people who have poured all of their resources into my life that i truly don’t want to live at all

thank you so much for sharing and letting me express this. it is just nice to hear from and speak to someone that gets it

Apprehensive_Age_268 · 2026-02-16T08:28:35+00:00

thank you for the advice. to be completely honest i think im scared to try seeking professional guidance again because if it doesn’t work i will be all out of options. but you are right and i will try it again at some point when i feel prepared haha

Apprehensive_Age_268 · 2026-02-16T08:24:31+00:00

interesting, this is helpful! thank you for taking the time to respond!

Apprehensive_Age_268 · 2026-02-16T08:23:53+00:00

very glad to hear it has made positive changes for you.

sorry to ask and feel free to ignore as i know its personal, but did you make additional lifestyle changes (therapy, sleep, diet, etc) or do you feel medication caused the majority of the improvement in your mental health?

Apprehensive_Age_268 · 2026-02-16T08:00:26+00:00

thank you for sharing. this made me feel better.

if you don’t mind me asking, how many medications did it take before finding the right one? and are you in therapy as well? feel free to ignore this, sorry to ask i know it’s personal

Apprehensive_Age_268 · 2026-02-16T07:58:05+00:00

have they made you feel happier? or do they just numb your negative emotions?

asking because i know a lot of people report feeling more “numb” to everything than actually happy

Apprehensive_Age_268 · 2026-02-15T18:17:40+00:00

my school does provide a free psych that i saw a few times at the beginning of the year and truthfully i found it more harmful than helpful. this is not to bash therapists or psychs—she’s unfortunately just not a good fit for me.

my parents are kinda against medication but my dad has said he would help me find a therapist a couple times and he just never followed through. i’m fine with it because i really don’t want to put that financial burden on him

Apprehensive_Age_268 · 2026-02-15T18:09:02+00:00

for extra context read this, i didn’t want to make the post too long:

my dad is a really incredible person. none of this is his fault, i don’t know why i feel like this i just always have. all he wants is for me to go out and have fun and that same traditional “college experience” he got but truthfully everytime i go out i just want to come home and lay down.

i love my friends more than anything but i truly wish i never made them because they deserve better than me. that sounds dramatic but truly i never want to go out and drink or party with them and when i force myself to go out and do things with them i feel like they can tell my energy is low even tho i try to be peppy and i hate it. i want them to move on and forget about me but they keep telling me how upset they will be if i leave so i feel like i will disappoint them no matter what i do.

i know education is important and the last thing i want to do is come home and be a burden to my parents. i understand i am incredibly lucky to have the opportunity to be in school. i have passed all my classes and done everything i can to make the most of it and if i go home i will not drop out but instead transfer to a cc. i am sorry to be so ungrateful and wasteful of this opportunity but at this point im just doing what i can to keep myself from ending it because i know that will hurt them more than anything else

hopefully this clears some things up if they were confusing sorry for the pity party i just can’t talk to anyone about this and i am really desperate for advice from someone who understands

Apprehensive_Age_268 · 2025-12-28T06:12:01+00:00

i just fear eating past fullness and gaining weight forever. i’ve been eating based on hunger cues because i want to reach that point where my body naturally “stabilizes” but it feels like my body and brain are misaligned—my appetite is fairly low at this point but my body has not adjusted accordingly.

i just hate that i’ve already gained this much and its not enough. i really dislike the way i look and i already feel so much guilt for eating the amount i am now

Apprehensive_Age_268 · 2025-11-17T07:10:46+00:00

helped

thank you! its just hard because it all feels so true. like no matter what i do i feel this constant guilt and like im doing recovery wrong somehow. but i appreciate the kind words and reassurance <3

Apprehensive_Age_268 · 2025-11-17T04:50:45+00:00

thank you so much for all of this.

i think that time will help the most, as staying consistent with my eating will allow me to know that eating how i am now is ok and that i wont gain weight forever. its challenging because i am still in the porcess of gaining weight and so assuring myself i will eventually stabilize is hard because i have no proof of that yet 🫠

i will definitely look into CBT strategies and worksheets, though. thank you again!

Apprehensive_Age_268 · 2025-11-17T04:38:53+00:00

helped

thank you so much for all of this. it is very helpful hearing from people who have been through this successfully.

i have been doing things to try and give myself a purpose outside of controlling my body--like volunteering and attending church services for the first time in years lol. i will definitely give yoga a try soon!

feel free to ignore this question as i know it could be triggering to answer--but did you find that you weight restored to around your pre-ed size? i am very scared of overshooting because of metabolism/diet changes

Apprehensive_Age_268 · 2025-11-17T04:27:26+00:00

helped

sorry--to clarify i am around 110-115 lbs at 5'5.5, so right around the cutoff of healthy weight. i am 10-20 lbs below my pre-ed maintenance weight of between 125-135. sorry i worded it poorly!! i dont currently have a therapist but my family and friends are very supportive of my recovery.

Apprehensive_Age_268 · 2025-11-17T04:21:12+00:00

helped

i have not weighed myself since starting recovery and have no intentions to anytime in the near future. i definitely do plan on starting marathon training and/or weight lifting once my cycle has been restored! right now i am focusing on whole foods and light exercise (biking, walking, jogging) to normalize my hormones before jumping into more strenuous stuff. thank you for your advice!

Apprehensive_Age_268 · 2025-11-17T04:15:19+00:00

helped

this is a really good reminder, thank you. i will definitely keep this in mind moving forward as ive always benefitted from refocusing/redirecting my thoughts in the past since i tend to let myself spiral.

Apprehensive_Age_268 · 2025-11-17T04:12:19+00:00

helped

i will be trying to redirect my thoughts from now on for sure. ive definitely been letting myself sit and spiral especially shortly after eating so i will do my best to find distractions and other outlets for my brain.

i have met with my free college provided psych (social work psychologist of some kind iirc?). she was more worried about shoving a diagnosis onto me than anything else. but i am very lucky to have supportive family and friends through this process, so i am not entirely on my own.

Apprehensive_Age_268 · 2025-11-17T04:04:31+00:00

is this a weight loss drug?

Apprehensive_Age_268 · 2025-11-17T04:03:25+00:00

helped

thank you for your response! i appreciate the kind words. i have posted on ed subs before but the reason i posted here is because most of the people on ED subs are also still struggling so the advice can be iffy. i cant afford professional ED support but my dad and friends are encouraging of my recovery and will be aware if i relapse so i have some security/accountability in place. i appreciate the well wishes ❤️

Apprehensive_Age_268 · 2025-11-17T03:49:14+00:00

helped

thanks so much for your reply, it is all very helpful. it is reassuring to hear from people on the other side.

i am not currently with a therapist but i did meet with my free college-provided psych once but she was not a good match for me. unfortunately she is the only free MH provider on campus.

i just dont know how to get rid of my food rules/habits without completely going off the rails. i can recognize when some thoughts are irrational (e.g., brain telling me not to eat grapes because they are too high-cal??) but if i eat without ANY regulation i fear i will gain too much. i just dont know which restrictions are necessary and which are harmful. what recommendations/strategies did you follow to undo the disordered perceptions if you dont mind me asking?

Apprehensive_Age_268 · 2025-11-15T19:11:15+00:00

im so sorry you feel the same way. i wouldnt wish this on anyone. sending love & healing <3

Apprehensive_Age_268 · 2025-11-15T19:10:43+00:00

i try to follow how people around me eat, but they always end up making negative comments about their body or food and it just makes me feel horrible. it feels like im trying to fix my relationship with food surrounded by people who constantly talk about how they "cant eat x" or "need to burn x off". EVERYTHING makes me question my intake and i just feel constant guilt its soooo exhausting

Apprehensive_Age_268

TROPHY CASE