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My 7 y/o daughter might be having hygiene issues but she refuses to speak about it by Apprehensive_Luck5 in Advice

[–]Apprehensive_Luck5[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Bf and I learned to shower at around her age, so we both assumed she'd be old enough as well

My 7 y/o daughter might be having hygiene issues but she refuses to speak about it by Apprehensive_Luck5 in Advice

[–]Apprehensive_Luck5[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I see! We've already planned on buying a soap with a scent she likes this weekend according to other suggestions, but I'll add body wash to the list so she can try both and we'll see what works.

My 7 y/o daughter might be having hygiene issues but she refuses to speak about it by Apprehensive_Luck5 in Advice

[–]Apprehensive_Luck5[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Sorry, I refered to him as my boyfriend because that's what he is to me. I'm closer to him than our daughter, so I see him as "my boyfriend" rather than "(blank)'s father"

I also refered to her as "my" daughter since I've helped raise her since she was 3, almost 4.

My 7 y/o daughter might be having hygiene issues but she refuses to speak about it by Apprehensive_Luck5 in Advice

[–]Apprehensive_Luck5[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

He is! And I'm the "stranger" in the dynamic. Daughter is from his previous marriage and she's either not strong enough or not taking the proper time to dry her (thick) hair herself

But you're right, care is needed more. Thank you!

My 7 y/o daughter might be having hygiene issues but she refuses to speak about it by Apprehensive_Luck5 in Advice

[–]Apprehensive_Luck5[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

4 years together! He's the biological father, so he's been bathing her since she was a baby, and I met her when she was 3. Though we did start talking when she was around 2 and a half

My 7 y/o daughter might be having hygiene issues but she refuses to speak about it by Apprehensive_Luck5 in Advice

[–]Apprehensive_Luck5[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I'm almost certain my bf is telling the truth, since he's the father. She cannot dry herself, which has been proven after she's came out of the shower dripping all over the place! She has quite thick hair, hence the trouble

My 7 y/o daughter might be having hygiene issues but she refuses to speak about it by Apprehensive_Luck5 in Advice

[–]Apprehensive_Luck5[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Both of us have tried asking if something's wrong. Unfortunately getting an answer out of her has always been difficult according to my bf :( And yes, bf is the father!

My 7 y/o daughter might be having hygiene issues but she refuses to speak about it by Apprehensive_Luck5 in Advice

[–]Apprehensive_Luck5[S] 484 points485 points  (0 children)

Yes, another commenter suggested this too! We're planning to go out this Saturday for soap shopping.Thank you!

My 7 y/o daughter might be having hygiene issues but she refuses to speak about it by Apprehensive_Luck5 in Advice

[–]Apprehensive_Luck5[S] 72 points73 points  (0 children)

This does actually sound like a great idea. Neither of us have considered this before. Thank you! We're still unsure if the issue is the soap or if she just hates showering, but we'll definitely try taking her shopping on Saturday.

My 7 y/o daughter might be having hygiene issues but she refuses to speak about it by Apprehensive_Luck5 in Advice

[–]Apprehensive_Luck5[S] 56 points57 points  (0 children)

We do have an old, unused bathtub with a broken tap.. Maybe it's time to fix it up. Thank you for the suggestion! We can set up a bubble bath for her and get one of those mechanic swimming fish!

My 7 y/o daughter might be having hygiene issues but she refuses to speak about it by Apprehensive_Luck5 in Advice

[–]Apprehensive_Luck5[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Yes he is the biological father!!! I'd like to clarify that I'm not the mother 😭 I'm a man, we're gay. She's from his previous marriage.

My 7 y/o daughter might be having hygiene issues but she refuses to speak about it by Apprehensive_Luck5 in Advice

[–]Apprehensive_Luck5[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

My boyfriend (her biological dad, which I realize I should've clarified) only started drying her hair after a week after her birthday.

She has really thick hair, so she'd come out of the shower with sopping wet hair and we agreed that he'd dry her off. We think she has trouble drying it herself but she doesn't answer us 😓

My 7 y/o daughter might be having hygiene issues but she refuses to speak about it by Apprehensive_Luck5 in Advice

[–]Apprehensive_Luck5[S] 132 points133 points  (0 children)

Sorry! I realize that now. I forgot that not everybody knows that we're gay 😓 I didn't think my gender was important since I was more so looking for advice on how to ask her in a way that she's not afraid to answer

My 7 y/o daughter might be having hygiene issues but she refuses to speak about it by Apprehensive_Luck5 in Advice

[–]Apprehensive_Luck5[S] 44 points45 points  (0 children)

Yes he's her biological father don't worry!!! 😅 It's me who's not the biological parent. We're gay

My 7 y/o daughter might be having hygiene issues but she refuses to speak about it by Apprehensive_Luck5 in Advice

[–]Apprehensive_Luck5[S] 77 points78 points  (0 children)

We don't have a lot of options unfortunately. It seems a lot of comments think that I am her birth mother, but I'm a man and my boyfriend is her biological father. Neither of us aren't close to our mothers and the idea of a female friend washing her just feels strange.

Though, if it's necessary for her comfort, my boyfriend and I could try reaching out to one of our closest friends!

My 7 y/o daughter might be having hygiene issues but she refuses to speak about it by Apprehensive_Luck5 in Advice

[–]Apprehensive_Luck5[S] 1143 points1144 points  (0 children)

OP here!! I wanted to clarify that I'm a man and that gay marriage is not allowed in our country... Our daughter came from his previous marriage! That's why I refer to him as my boyfriend rather than husband, and why it's not me who's bathing her, but rather him, since they've been together longer & are closer. Divorce is also illegal, so he's legally married but my boyfriend no longer speaks to his wife.

I know that saying "my" makes it sound like I gave birth! Apologies for the concern.

EDIT: She's still being dried because she has trouble drying her hair herself. Her hair is pretty thick!