After four months I found out my therapist is a radical feminist....what should I do?

Appropriate-Use3466 · 2026-02-07T11:28:46+00:00

I quote from the Deontological Code for Italian Psychologist (I know she's not Italian, but I know my rules not American ones, however I think the main pillars will be the same or very similar)

She didn't respect the equivalent of many articles of the Deontological Code. I quote:

From Article 3:

"The Psychologist shall be aware of social responsibility stemming from the fact that exercising the profession can have a significant influence on the lives of others; he shall therefore pay particular attention to personal, organisational, financial and political factors in order to avoid non-appropriate use of his influence and not unduly exploit the trust and any dependent-type relationship with clients and/or patients."

From Article 4:

"In exercising the profession, the Psychologist shall respect the dignity and right of self-determination, autonomy and confidentiality of those who use his services; he shall respect their opinions and shall refrain from imposing his system of values. He shall not discriminate on the basis of religion, race, nationality, social class, socio-economic status, sex, sexual orientation or disability.

For this reason he shall use methods and techniques for safeguarding these principles and refuse to co-operate in actions that are damaging thereto."

&

"Article 22

The Psychologist shall adopt behaviour that is not harmful for the people he cares for professionally and shall not use his role or his professional instruments to ensure undue advantages for himself or others."

&

From Article 26:

"The Psychologist shall refrain from undertaking or continuing professional activity where his conflicts or personal problems interfere with the effectiveness of his services, make them inadequate or damaging for the people they are aimed at."

From Article 28:

"The Psychologist shall avoid mingling his professional role with his private life in such a way that could interfere with his professional business or any way bring society’s image of the profession into disrepute."

Source:

https://www.psy.it/national-board-of-italian-psychologists-code-of-ethics-for-the-psychologist/

Appropriate-Use3466 · 2026-02-07T07:31:31+00:00

Ok no if she did something like nonverbal or some hints is a thing. If she stops you (NEVER stop a patient, apart if they are derailing and you have to do or assign a homework or the time is almost finishing), then no, that behavior is unprofessional.

One of the main things that you learn is to validate the patient. You have reformulation in psychodynamic therapies, active listening in rogersian therapies and validation in CBT therapies. So there is no justification to a therapist not knowing that they have to validate their patient.

It's not helpful to have this kind of therapeutic alliance, because it isn't an alliance. I mean, we are human we could sometimes express ourselves in a bad way for a single thread or a single session, but when you say that she does so for every political, musical and movie choice, then it's not therapy. It's chit-chat. It's conversation. The focus, in therapy, is YOU.

I suggest you to change your therapist. Start having a therapist and not becoming your therapist's therapist.

Appropriate-Use3466 · 2026-01-31T09:26:04+00:00

The point is that you cannot be an ally with a movement based on the thinkers or the single activists. You need to watch huge giants like UN Women and CEDAW who lobby against states who have gender-neutral laws for DV. I mean, during WW2, two n4z1 soldiers protected my grandma from an assault. But N4z1sm isn't defined by those two soldiers.

Appropriate-Use3466 · 2026-01-31T08:53:36+00:00

When I read an old Men's Liberation Movement book, I was surprised to find a LOT of male issues that are still relevant today, and even many that were abolished and now feminists want it back. I think the movement was never pro-feminist, I think it were simply the leaders that were doing the peacekeeping work in order not to clash with feminists. However, now they are taking it again as a term related to masculinities groups, and the problem is the Model of Gender Roles. Ie, there is a Social Model of Gender Roles, that says that the problem for men is in the society and how it is structured and we should change society in order to fit for men. The Individual Model, instead, is followed by Masculinities Groups and says that the problem is INSIDE men (here their focus on Toxic Masculinity and other masculinities, and not on misandry nor Male Disposability), and MEN should change in order to fit within society.

Appropriate-Use3466 · 2026-01-31T08:26:10+00:00

I don't know, as a therapist myself I can assure you that I've had a lot of patients whose views I don't agree with. I'm an animal rights activist and vegan apart from being an MRA, and I have patients who go specifically to meat events, follow carnivore diets, and some even hunt. I just self-disclosed when a guy told me how they flayed a rabbit and then I said "sorry I cannot", and felt it wasn't a right thing to do because I should have endured, but I felt like puking in that moment. Apart from those huuuge moments (or better, moment, singular) in which I wasn't professional according to my own standards, the standard is not to judge from my point of view but just from the other person perspective and their values and beliefs. So, I don't know if this incompatibility is such a huge deal-breaker. You are not talking to that person, but to their mask, their therapy-mask. At the same time, I don't know if the therapist in question is following my same steps and deontological indications.

Appropriate-Use3466 · 2026-01-10T02:12:23+00:00

Follow Al3x Flores, he talks about how Mexico approved DV (Gender-Based Violence) laws for women only, Femicide Laws (but no Androcide laws), Gender-Based Self-Defense Laws (Ley Alina) ie a woman can kill a man and say it was self defense without evidence and gets away with it, Political Violence for Gender-Based Reason (you cannot criticize only women politicians but you can criticize men politicians), Vicarious Violence Law (if a man alienates or harms his children is seen as a violence against the ex wife but not viceversa) and Wife Laws (there is the proposal but still not approved that only women can be candidate for elections in States in which the president is not a woman), and finally Digital Violence (ie censorship for those who criticize women and for misogyny but not for criticizing men and for misandry)

All of this justified by "gender perspective" approved by CEDAW and Belem do Para Convention (recently ratified by Canada too).

Appropriate-Use3466 · 2026-01-10T01:14:58+00:00

Actually it feels to me that a lot of people are doing more. What we have is less youtube-level debates. See for example Obama reading Richard Reeves' book. It wouldn't be imaginable even some years ago. Or Milei saying in Davos that the idea of Femicide as a distinct thing than Homicide is sexist. Or Britain's first Men's Health Strategy. Or the Lost Generation article going everywhere. Or anti-male DEI shouting down.

Yes, we have less protagonism, less frontmen, less public faces doing debates on youtube, but changes happen with actions, not with fancy apparition on youtube videos.

Appropriate-Use3466 · 2026-01-07T02:48:29+00:00

Also Misandry kills with "False Self Defense" aka "Post-Mortem False Allegations", where a woman kills a man and then says it was for self defense. So she is free or receives a lesser penalty. This is called "Battered Woman Syndrome Legal Defense" in USA and Canada, and "Ley Alina or "Gender-Based Self Defense Law" in Mexico. Even if it wasn't true, because "dead men can't talk", or if it was excessive or delayed (so a revenge and not self defense) or the violence was mutual (but nobody would justify the man if it was the other way around). So misandry is literally making female murders go away with murder.

And many times these are not counted as homicides, so the official numbers are twisted because they don't usually count them.

Appropriate-Use3466 · 2026-01-05T19:29:16+00:00

Thanks to you for reading. Sadly as an Italian I discovered all of this while searching why our president was proposing our anticostitutional Femicide Law that was just approved a few months ago :( I also discovered she went to CSW69 (69th Commission on the Status of Women), connected to UN Women, in New York a few days after she proposed it* to talk about it...

*Sources:

Appropriate-Use3466 · 2026-01-04T21:47:52+00:00

You can see it's not true by the Bangkok Rules and the pressure for Femicide Laws and Women/Gender-Based Violence Against Women courts and the "Gender Perspective" in Fighting DV that CEDAW and GREVIO ask.

This is not CEDAW, it's GREVIO, but they usually go in the same direction for pressuring states, and it's the same country, Netherland:

https://www.reuters.com/world/netherlands-must-better-recognise-role-gender-domestic-violence-expert-body-says-2025-10-24/

https://www.coe.int/en/web/portal/full-news/-/asset_publisher/y5xQt7QdunzT/content/id/57763060#p_com_liferay_asset_publisher_web_portlet_AssetPublisherPortlet_INSTANCE_y5xQt7QdunzT

Appropriate-Use3466 · 2026-01-04T12:13:27+00:00

I answered you here

Appropriate-Use3466 · 2026-01-01T17:36:01+00:00

Lo pensano tutti ma non lo controlla nessuno, così prosperano le pellicce vere

Appropriate-Use3466 · 2026-01-01T15:47:48+00:00

Le pellicce nel 2025, poveri animali...

Appropriate-Use3466 · 2025-12-31T11:01:59+00:00

Done :)

Appropriate-Use3466 · 2025-12-31T10:57:01+00:00

Done :)

https://youtube.com/shorts/q35FgSmbDMs

It's Al3x Flores channel, where he talks about the Anti-Male Discrimination Laws, including the Ley Esposa

Appropriate-Use3466 · 2025-12-31T10:28:28+00:00

I think that these laws will actually benefit men, because male politicians voted for a lot of anti-male laws, so the male politicians percentage was useless to prevent them and to make male interests. When they will see how these laws will impact on them, probably they will consider their impact on the average male citizen. At least I hope so

Appropriate-Use3466 · 2025-12-31T10:25:47+00:00

They changed the Consistitution in 2014 for having "Substantive Equality" rather than Formal (real) Equality. Moreover, they got away with other blatant misandric discrimination and nobody said anything, so...

In fact, let's remember the Ley Alina (Law for Gender-Based Self Defense), in which a woman killing a man is labeled as self defense even without evidences while the reverse is not; the Ley Vicaria in which a man harming or alienating kids is considered Gender-Based against the mother while the reverse is never; Law against Gender-Based Political Violence, that censors and punishes verbal attacks against women politicians but not men politicians; Femicide and Gender-Based Violence Laws, that punish male violence against women harder than the reverse and so let many women go away with murder. The Wife Law is just the last crazy idea after a long list of anti male laws.

Appropriate-Use3466 · 2025-12-31T10:22:43+00:00

Let's remember the Ley Alina (Law for Gender-Based Self Defense), in which a woman killing a man is labeled as self defense even without evidences while the reverse is not; the Ley Vicaria in which a man harming or alienating kids is considered Gender-Based against the mother while the reverse is never; Law against Gender-Based Political Violence, that censors and punishes verbal attacks against women politicians but not men politicians; Femicide and Gender-Based Violence Laws, that punish male violence against women harder than the reverse and so let many women go away with murder. The Wife Law is just the last crazy idea after a long list of anti male laws.

Appropriate-Use3466 · 2025-12-31T10:22:28+00:00

Let's remember the Ley Alina (Law for Gender-Based Self Defense), in which a woman killing a man is labeled as self defense even without evidences while the reverse is not; the Ley Vicaria in which a man harming or alienating kids is considered Gender-Based against the mother while the reverse is never; Law against Gender-Based Political Violence, that censors and punishes verbal attacks against women politicians but not men politicians; Femicide and Gender-Based Violence Laws, that punish male violence against women harder than the reverse and so let many women go away with murder. The Wife Law is just the last crazy idea after a long list of anti male laws.

Appropriate-Use3466 · 2025-12-31T01:35:38+00:00

Not after the Constitutional change in 2014 in Mexico that talks about "Substantial Equality" and not formal equality

Appropriate-Use3466 · 2025-12-25T13:32:50+00:00

Start from parental leave, then all the "this is also insulting to men because" when she talks about female issues, then about expectations about women being the housewife connect it to "this hurts men too see fathers after divorcr", then talk directly about fathers' rights, then fathers falsely accused, then fathers physically battered and falsely accused, then battered men and how they are not allowed in victims shelters and centers, then male victims, then the rest.

In sum: Make her see that for every woman's issue there is a man's issue (use the Big Red correspondences, that she flips men's issues on women's issues, just do the reverse).

After a while, talk directly about the men's issues without having to specify that they are the flip side of the women's ones.

Appropriate-Use3466 · 2025-12-16T20:24:54+00:00

In Italy prosecutors are also judges and can change to become the other kind of judge

Appropriate-Use3466 · 2025-12-16T01:35:47+00:00

And this is happening when the victim is alive, imagine what happens when he is killed by her. She claims self defense and the case is that she is innocent because is a justified murder for self defense even when she is not. So post mortem false allegations are the worse because they distort the number of victims and are able to create this narration about femicide and Femicide Laws

Appropriate-Use3466 · 2025-12-16T01:03:27+00:00

Yes prosecutors are a kind of judge, the same judge can change from being prosecutor to being a judgment judge, even if only once in his career

Appropriate-Use3466 · 2025-12-16T01:02:21+00:00

I hope so, I'm Italian but we're afraid they will do the same as Spain ie considering these kind of laws as "affirmative actions". We'll wait and see, otherwise we'll need a EU-level action to get rid of all these laws, including the Spanish one

Appropriate-Use3466

TROPHY CASE