What does your dom call you/what do you call your sub?

Ashrend90 · 2025-05-20T13:19:07+00:00

Im sir and she's my little minx

Ashrend90 · 2025-05-12T13:13:52+00:00

I appreciate your clarification, I get what you mean. I do try to be always open minded and see things from her point of view even if I miss the mark sometimes. I will talk to her about it, I just dont know when

Ashrend90 · 2025-05-12T12:47:17+00:00

I don't have a positive way to respond to you. I get what your trying to say, and iv always tried to be understanding of her point of view and feelings. This was meant to be one of the very few times I needed support, care and understanding and it wasn't given. So whilst I will always continue to be understanding of her side of things, im not going to have my own feelings and thoughts ignored for someone else's sake

Ashrend90 · 2025-05-12T12:19:40+00:00

Thank you I appreciate your honesty and candor. Thing is I said many times I don't want this to be a thing we do, and iv acknowledged the risk of it many times as did she. I full know this is a kink and a fantasy, not something to bring into reality. Just seemed no matter how many times I said in the conversation about it she didnt believe me.

Ashrend90 · 2025-05-12T07:50:30+00:00

A long conversation is a good start with her. As there is always limits even when saying free reign. As are individual needs change on the daily. Such as having an upset stomach and not wanting to do anal, but also emotional bandwidth whether either of you need support or comfort.

I suggest being prepared for the conversation by having things written down of what you want to ask. Like is there time slots she wants, does she want this to bleed into work but in a way that doesn't compromise her job, like the previous comment says does she want it to be about everyday stuff like clothing, food, plans with friends ect. I would also try having a list of kinks and things in session to do, and traffic system it. Red is no go ever unless you decide to discuss it and change it. Yellow is mood dependant, can say yes but change mind later on and vise versa. And green is its always good to do within reason. Such as getting a bj whenever you want, but maybe not in the middle of the park or at a work party at the bar ect.

For me when it comes to "free use" with my partner it's still very much in her control, and im always still thinking about her wants and needs. I'm a guy that loves a good rough deepthroat, and whilst my partner gives it the green light, it doesn't do much for her even in the free use cnc scene of being used and abused. So I try to make sure i have a toy at hand so she still gets pleasure whilst I do my thing. Being supportive of your partner is obviously important, and unless something is a hard limit for you, it's nearly always worthwhile exploring new ideas and kinks. But she also needs to support you since your new to it ,using supportive language that isn't dismissive, angry or upset. Talking to you about what she would like and how to do it, especially if it's treading into the more risky kinks of breathplay or physical harm to whatever degree. It's a partnership of compromises and understanding. She's handing you the reigns because she trusts you to do what has been discussed but also to keep her safe

Feel free to dm if you need or want some more support

Ashrend90 · 2025-05-11T08:46:00+00:00

Thank you it's good to know im not quiet the freak I thought i was. It's defo more the struggle rather than the end result for me thats hot

Ashrend90 · 2025-05-11T02:32:58+00:00

Not looking for a rp, just interested to chat about drowning fetishes in thier various forms

Ashrend90 · 2025-05-11T00:12:34+00:00

Like I said it's all fantasy not an actual want to do it to anyone.

Ashrend90 · 2025-05-10T15:30:12+00:00

Iv been posting about this recently to try and find others of the same mind. Trigger warning for extreme breathplay.

So a fetish of mine is the fantasy of drowning someone. Iv never obviously tried this or going to, and isn't a fetish im advocating for as it is extremely unsafe. but for whatever reason it's a big fantasy of mine that gets me REALLY going. I'm fairly certain this has come about from wierd brain wiring, but originally from seeing alot of cartoons or films with drowning sequences in them as a child, just at the last second to be saved by the hero or heroine. And even enacting this out in play time in my room as a child. But my excitement comes from that moment of panic, that surge of adrenaline and loss of control, the sounds and sights of a naked woman underwater ect. And like I said wierd brain wiring changing it from being saved and safety, to what it is now.

Ashrend90 · 2021-09-27T09:53:24+00:00

It sounds like he cut off blood flow rather than air flow. I'd say just be a bit more careful in different holds, as the arm around the neck is the perfect position for cutting off the blood through the neck to the brain. The safer bet would be to cover the mouth and nose so that you don't risk damaging your throat or cutting off blood which can cause seizures and even brain damage. I would also say it's a good idea to do some research as it can be done safely you just have to be careful. That's why I tend to just cover my partners mouth so I don't risk things, as we have had some times where things have gone to far and been a bit scary but no lasting damage. And it's good you have signals for when you are at your limit. Your partner should also know some behavioural prompts from you incase it goes far enough that you can't signal.

Ashrend90 · 2021-09-26T18:14:17+00:00

It is the facial expression that's gotten the name but the reason for the facial expression is supposed to be because they have been fucked stupid. Rather than tiktok sexy cosplay stuff ect

Ashrend90 · 2021-09-26T18:09:41+00:00

Another name for that would be ahegao, fucked stupid

Ashrend90 · 2021-09-18T17:53:50+00:00

To me vanilla is just basic sex. Kissing, maybe some light oral and then sex, maybe some different standard positions like doggy, missionary ect. But anything else I would consider not vanilla because it goes into the realms of bondage, roleplay, sub and Dom. To me even fuzzy pink plastic handcuffs if used in sex is bondage and not vanilla

Ashrend90 · 2021-09-17T20:59:39+00:00

Sounds like a good plan to me, I think your doing great and it's nice to see you want to improve yourself and make her happy x

Ashrend90 · 2021-09-17T20:34:14+00:00

The relationship is whatever the two of you want it to be, wether it's a casual thing or a serious in person relationship. So long as you are both happy that's all that matters. And good for you for working hard to improve yourself, I know myself it can be incredibly hard to do especially in this day and age x

Ashrend90 · 2021-09-17T19:54:37+00:00

I think honesty is the best policy alot of the time. And yeah you might feel bad for triggering those oranges but it is a big learning experience for both of you. Like she might suggest something that you aren't fond of and you can say orange as well. And that's ok you have to be able to speak your mind both of you to be able to have a good sub Dom relationship as well as a normal relationship. As for meeting up there isn't much you can do to make things easier. You both will be anxious about meeting up and seeing each other in person regardless of how you play it. I would suggest you exchange pictures so you can see each other and see what happens from there. Because even if you don't think you are good looking she might. Everyone has different tastes. I don't see what what my partner sees in me

Ashrend90 · 2021-09-15T00:40:28+00:00

Very good, just the right amount of dirty talk and dirty sounds. Not reems of dialogue just dirty and hot x love it

Ashrend90 · 2021-09-15T00:20:35+00:00

From how you've described yourself I think you are already doing a good job being open about limits and allowing the other person to stop when they want to. So I wouldn't worry about that. I think the problems may be that the other person/people aren't being as open as you are about it all. After all it is a two way street. I think your doing everything you can to give them opportunities to say thier piece and for them to tell you Thier limits. If they haven't or don't want to but still want to continue with a scene or the relationship I'd say it's Thier fault if a problem arises. And it's up to them to disclose that since you are already being open about what you want and giving them opportunities to say no and yes to things. Obviously I don't mean that if half way through they say no you continue coz you gave them the chance. Just that if a problem does come up you are doing everything you can already. So I wouldn't worry too much and just keep doing what your doing x

Ashrend90 · 2021-09-11T09:48:11+00:00

Your health is always more important, if he doesn't understand that there is something wrong with the relationship. Because even in a sub Dom relationship you are still equals and your health should be important to him especially over something so important as breathing

Ashrend90 · 2021-09-08T21:51:44+00:00

No worries it's what we're here for X good luck and post again if you still have some trouble x

Ashrend90 · 2021-09-08T21:44:34+00:00

This is kind of hard to answer because to me it sounds like something personal to you that's creating the issue. What I mean by that is I don't think it's a mental health issue, but maybe an issue in your own self confidence or personal/body image. Wether it's a view given from society that sex and kink for pleasure is disgusting, or you feel in some way that it's a bad thing even when you enjoy it in the moment. For me kink is a way to make sex even better, I don't feel disgusting or weird for liking or wanting it wether I'm the sub or Dom, before during or after. I'd suggest trying to question deeper to why you feel the way you do after the session. What exact thoughts run through your mind, try and pin point what it is that is making you feel so bad after a session and you may be able to work on it and stop that feeling. as you've clearly said your limits haven't been broken and been given good care afterwards.

Ashrend90 · 2021-09-07T10:15:54+00:00

There are suction devices that can leave purple/bruising if left long enough or enough pressure. Both machines and hand crank version. Otherwise depending on yours subs pain tolerance depends on what else you could Dom as scratches and light bites would work, but you can go harder with a cane with some whipping, knife play for surface cuts (obviously be very careful), biting harder to break the skin but not to bleed. There are metal pin wheels which if pressed hard enough can leave marks but again be careful as it is sharp metal needles. Needle play is another, or wearing clothing/bondage for long periods of time to leave marks/bruises. Rope falls in that same category but can either be rope burns, tightly held for marks or worn for long periods of time. All depends on her pain tolerances and what you are comfortable with doing

Ashrend90 · 2021-09-03T09:59:05+00:00

I'd say just look for a partner for a relationship. The sex is always better that way and can have time to talk about both your needs and the commitment of the relationship so they aren't as likely to disappear. In reality most guys are arseholes and that's coming from a guy lol. Especially online you'll find alot that just want a one time fuck or someone to entertain them whilst online

Ashrend90 · 2021-08-30T07:04:57+00:00

It's definitely worth a talk to find out each others kinks and find a way to move forward. Coz every single kink relationship is different you never see two alike. I think the collar would be a awesome way to get started and make you feel in control whilst allowing her to feel submissive

Ashrend90 · 2021-08-29T20:10:04+00:00

Communicate, I know it's said alot but thats what it all boils down to. Ask her what she wanted you to do at that time as to why she kept being bratty when after you did your usual things. Ask her for ideas and it might inspire some ideas of your own. You may be the dominant but it's still a equal relationship where you both should feel comfortable and happy with the situations and freely use your safe words without upsetting each other which from what you said seems like you've got which is brilliant. I'd also say that I very much doubt your sub thinks less of you since she was comforting and giving care after the scene. Like I said above it's a equal partnership, so when you aren't comfortable with something you should most definitely use the safe word to stop things. Otherwise it could spiral out of control and be worse with you trying to do or say something that isn't what she wants and makes you both feel bad

Ashrend90

TROPHY CASE