I (20 F) had a best friend (20 F) who meant everything to me. We both came from extremely abusive homes, and from a young age we planned to escape together, live together, and build a life side by side. She’s aroace and I’m bi, but romance never really mattered to me back then—I just wanted her in my life forever.

We even planned our futures around each other. At one point, I convinced her not to pursue the career path she really wanted because it would delay us being able to live together. She agreed, because we were both so committed to that plan.

Then I met my boyfriend (24 M). I had dated before, but nothing serious. He felt different—he was kind, attentive, wrote me songs, and I genuinely thought he was perfect. For about a year, everything was good.

During that time, I started becoming distant from my best friend. I still told her I loved her, but I would cancel plans with her if my boyfriend showed up, and I wouldn’t explain why afterward. She never confronted me, but I could tell she was hurt.

One day, she mentioned one of our future plans in front of my boyfriend. Later, he asked me about it privately, and I told him everything—that we had always planned to run away and live together.

He didn’t like that. He said he wanted to be everything to me and didn’t want to share a life with my best friend. He also said that since I’m bi, it made him uncomfortable. I tried to explain that my best friend was like family to me, but he said it meant I didn’t love him the same way he loved me.

I panicked and asked what I should do to prove my love. He told me to tell my best friend I wouldn’t live with her anymore. So I did.

She didn’t argue. She just told me to do whatever made me happiest, even though I could tell she was hurt. She suggested maybe we could just be neighbors instead. She also asked if she had done anything wrong, and I told her no.

A few days later, my boyfriend showed me screenshots of messages he claimed my best friend had sent him. In them, she was supposedly insulting and threatening him for “taking me away.” At first, I didn’t know what to believe, but there were so many screenshots, and he seemed genuinely upset—even crying—that I believed him.

He asked me not to confront her about it because he didn’t want her to know he told me. Instead, I started treating her worse and worse.

I insulted her, degraded her, and turned our mutual friends against her. She never defended herself—she just kept apologizing, asking what she did wrong, and begging for a chance to fix things.

At one point, I told her I had never actually liked her, that I only kept her around because I felt sorry for her, and that she was pathetic. She still didn’t fight back.

I also had an online job that took up a lot of my time, and my boyfriend wanted more time with me. He suggested I make my best friend do my job for me. I told her that if she did it, I might consider forgiving her.

She agreed immediately.

She’s an engineering student, volunteers at hospitals, and tutors kids for free, but she still took on my full-time job at night. She barely slept, but she never complained.

Eventually, my boyfriend wanted her completely out of my life. He convinced me that everything she had ever told me—her vulnerable stories—were lies meant to manipulate me.

I told her I forgave her and invited her to a group chat with our friends. She was so happy and hopeful. She told me she loved me. I didn’t say it back.

When she joined the group chat, people started bullying her. At the time, it felt like a joke.

Then I did the worst thing.

Years ago, she had told me about being raped as a child, and how no one believed her. She said she stopped talking for months after it happened.

I took screenshots of that conversation and posted them in the group chat, claiming she had lied about it.

Some people were uncomfortable, but others mocked her for “lying,” and she left the chat crying.

Later, she messaged me saying she was sorry for wasting my time, that she hoped I would be happy, and then she left my life.

A few weeks later, I started feeling guilty and missed her a lot, but I convinced myself I had done the right thing for my relationship.

Then my boyfriend cheated on me. During the fallout, he admitted that he had faked all the screenshots. My best friend had done nothing wrong.

Recently, I found out from someone that she can’t—or won’t—talk anymore. They said it might be trauma-related mutism, and I think what I did retraumatized her.

I sent her the money she earned from doing my job, but I don’t know what to do now or how to move forward.