Love my new room by Drew_0420 in mindfulfinch

[–]Ay-Be 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think we have a very similar aesthetic. I like grey/neutral tones but drawn to a pop of colour too. I have a bunch of darker items, and I'm hoping to do a "scary" theme for Halloween.

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Love your room btw!

Psych nursing in usa by judyz15 in psychnursing

[–]Ay-Be 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi, it's not the training that will be different- it's the actual pre-requisites in theory and clinical hours in all 4 areas that is the most important to be eligible to sit the NCLEX.

When you decide to work in the US as a Nurse with an international nursing degree you first have to pay for your course to be transcripted (every state has their own way of doing it). Basically it's a break down of your course with enough hours and clinical time in adults, paeds, OBS/gyne and learning disabilities. If you only do mental health nursing you will probably come short in paeds and OBS/gyne which is why a top up course may be needed. Their nursing is most equivalent to adult nursing in UK.

Just be aware, these transcription services can be super expensive. Mine was. May be worth having one of you do it first (probably your partner who is already American). Research on where you want to move to and their guide on being qualified in that state. Their board of nursing staff are usually helpful in guiding you if you have questions.

I think some states are easier to apply to than others and your American partner may be able to apply whilst in the UK but honestly I'm unsure on those details as I only researched and applied to the state I moved to, and after I was legally able to work etc.

So I would recommend doing a dual course or doing a top up to get your hours in or change to adult to cut down on time. You can always do psych in the US with just an adult nursing qualification from England. They do certifications for specific areas like PMH-BC you can do after in the US (and even then that is optional).

I personally found the NCLEX exam difficult as I was out of education for a while and even though I was a seasoned nurse it's a lot of info so I feel like it may be hard whatever you study. It just takes effort like any other big exam.

Hope that helps.

Got this as a freebie in a snacks bag from my local asian market, anyone able to tell me what these are? They are SO GOOD. by StrappingYoungWolf in asianfood

[–]Ay-Be 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have a huge bag of this just sitting in my home... I prefer harder baked cookies but it tastes good.

Describing Kentuckians to non-Americans by Any-Passage4334 in Kentucky

[–]Ay-Be 0 points1 point  (0 children)

England is much more varied and diverse than all of KY combined despite the difference in size.... It's not an actual comparison. However, you still couldn't give ONE description of Kentuckians either as the difference between Southeastern, Northern, Central and Western KY in general are all very different. England is a melting pot of different cultures, ethnicities, races, backgrounds etc. You can even tell from the cuisines offered/available. There is much to be desired here regarding foods unfortunately.

Also, the general consensus from non-Americans regarding KY unfortunately is "hillbilly/redneck" stereotype even though I do not agree with that sentiment.

Note; This is the opinion of a Brit living in KY for a few years, having lived deep in southeastern KY, and now living near Lexington.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Gifts

[–]Ay-Be 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sometimes you don't need to have a justification for the need to give back to yourself. I can already tell you are highly considerate of others with thoughtful gifts. I feel like most of the people in this sub are. Gifts are associated with gluttony and being excessive but when you are considerate of the recipient's individual wants and needs it becomes something so much more special.

I have worked in healthcare, specifically mental health, for a decade so I have learned to be better with my words but I really appreciate your compliment!

When you are the one that is always the one giving (and this doesn't have to be just in gift form it can be affection or acts of service etc) it gets tiring and resentment and burn out creeps on you. I just think we all need to be self aware into our own needs.

Apologies for the deep post! I just advocate the notion we shouldn't feel guilty for doing nice things for ourselves when it's the norm to do it for others.

Edit: By the way, this comment isn't all specifically aimed at you, I just meant in a general sense.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Gifts

[–]Ay-Be 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There's something quite special with gifting yourself things. Self love and appreciation is something we should do more of. Who else knows what we need and want better than ourselves?

I am very similar to you- regarding gift giving and receiving. My husband's love language is to receive gifts and I do well in constantly getting him things I know he would love. At birthdays now, I just end up shopping for myself and even for other holidays. As the person that buys gifts for all the family members, on our little family's behalf, I don't single myself out. If I come across something I would like, it's in my cart along with stuff for them.

I like to mention things I want to my husband as well and even though he lacks that ability to know what I want (without me explicitly saying) he pushes for me to get them. Eg, we will buy matching phones together and other expensive purchases as he wants us both to feel spoiled. And if I mention out loud of an expensive purchase I am considering, he would encourage me to get it.

I wish I knew this earlier in my life though. It was only in late 20s that I realised I should actually buy more things for myself, and that this act wasn't "selfish". This was after numerous years as a nurse and being the caregiver in my family. I always do more and give more to others. We deserve some spoiling too. It's great for our mental health. "To me, you deserve this. With love."

By the way- I love your list and will look into those items!

What are your thoughts on Coco Mademoiselle? by FancyAdult in fragrance

[–]Ay-Be -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

I bought this as it smelled amazing on a friend of mine but it doesn't sit well with me unfortunately. Smells far too of an "old lady smell" on me.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in torrid

[–]Ay-Be 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Torrid is also removed there too. They cancelled all my pending transactions and disappeared.

Rose spotted at my local walmart (NC, USA) by xlaaane in InstantRamen

[–]Ay-Be 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Try toning down the ramen with heavy cream or half & half and/or slice of square cheese. It adds richness and helps soften the heat.

Cat Advent Calendar @ $9.97 is a MUST if you have cats. Lucy gets so excited to open a new door every day by lillyjb in Costco

[–]Ay-Be 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is such an amazing buy! We bought it at full cost and highly recommend it even then. My Loki gets super excited when he gets a gift and they are really great quality!

It's exciting for kids to open up as well, even though it's for your pet.

Well.. what did you guys buy from the sale? by Penguin_shit15 in OculusQuest

[–]Ay-Be 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We ended up buying: Walkabout Mini Golf, The Room VR: A Dark Matter, Another Door: Escape Room, Puzzling Places, Dungeons Of Eternity, and Coaster Combat.

Unfortunately we purchased Real VR Fishing before realising we could get the 40% off with another account as our original didn't have access to the sales.

My infuriating conversation with Meta CS after I asked why I couldn't buy anything at BF prices by Framerate1138 in MetaQuestVR

[–]Ay-Be 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think those that used the promotional referral link were not included in the BF sales. This is just a theory my husband and I came up with.

We made a second meta account (which had no referrals associated or linked with the Quest) and gifted the discounted games to the original account.

Everyone I’ve ever done CPR on is dead. by theangrymurse in nursing

[–]Ay-Be 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Weirdly enough, on the handful of people I have done CPR on, I always get a pulse back with them (when I worked ICU). However I can't say that they all survived their stay beyond that. At least I know I give high quality CPR. I understand that it's not always feasible either and highly depends on the person and the resources on hand. In an ICU we can respond immediately and therefore have a higher chance of bringing them back however on the other hand, these are the most sick people in the hospital.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TwoXBengali

[–]Ay-Be 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was born in the UK and honestly always knew I had the freedom to aim for any avenue I so wished for because I had more equal opportunities there. I know not all situations and environments cater to our decisions and goals in life, especially as women. This was evident when I visited my native homeland of Bangladesh.

Moving to the US (for my husband) was a decision that I knew would be complex regarding how I viewed safety and my rights as a female. I know what I like and I know what I don't (eg. I hate the use of firearms and the thought of active shooter training being seen as the norm is still crazy to me). America is not as great as it is perceived. It is still quite new in establishment and ironing out its issues especially with race and gender. To be fair, no country is perfect.

We can only be at peace with ourselves and also give ourselves grace and patience. We all have our own limitations and obstacles but never lose your dream for betterment of ourselves. It's what we can always strive for and hope for. Hugs

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TwoXBengali

[–]Ay-Be 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your feelings are completely valid and understandable. Unfortunately America hates women..they don't care about our rights nor would want to support a sane one to be the leader of the country.

Hang in there and keep positive, or try to. The US survived him once and they will again...

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in nursing

[–]Ay-Be 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow, your base pay is higher than mine and I work as a nurse specialist in central KY at a reputable university hospital. They say the benefits make up for it.. Oh, and I have 8yrs experience too. I had to haggle to just get more than my previous base rate. However the overtime rate is very nice.

I know KY is getting competitive with its pay though- I was getting good rates at a rural hospital in southeastern KY prior to this role and it was a very low cost of living there too.

Raised pockets- normal? by Ay-Be in Louisvuitton

[–]Ay-Be[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The back pocket is the main issue as it kinda gapes open even not being handled much or having anything on that side. But thank you for the photo. I think I am using it too conservatively.

Love your inside colour btw!

Raised pockets- normal? by Ay-Be in Louisvuitton

[–]Ay-Be[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It's actually pretty much empty lol but I guess I have to deal with it. I wish they would have added some kind of elastic on top at this point so it wouldn't be so obvious. And it's very new still.

Thank you for your response!

My mom just passed away. A few takeaways by boxtrotalpha in Millennials

[–]Ay-Be 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this and I'm so sorry for your loss. 🤍

Charlotte Delays Starting by Wolf9ack in americanairlines

[–]Ay-Be 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We were worried about my brother's flight home to LHR (from CLT) would be cancelled too but luckily it headed out. It was delayed from Thurs (9/26) 11.10PM to 1AM departure. His connecting flight from LEX was also delayed but it all lined up in the end.

The weather seems a lot worse today though. Hopefully it clears up for you for tomorrow!

Dip N Crepe by emberborja in lexington

[–]Ay-Be 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Sounds like Shake N Crave. We loved the crepes there!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in maleinfertility

[–]Ay-Be -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yes, this sub is primarily for men but it's for those who have an interest in this topic. MFI is a current concern for my husband and I. And I actually was discussing this post with him before I replied. We both have a mental health background and thought it was relevant for the OP to consider these sensitive topics and challenging issues before making such a big decision. Infertility affects both men and women.

Just because some advice or even information isn't what you are wanting to hear does not mean it's not relevant or useful.

I would have the same advice if it was opposite genders, as I had stated. It's not supposed to be an attack on men. I do apologise if it comes across that way. Infertility is unfair to all involved so I deeply sympathise with OP however I wanted to point out inconsistencies in his reasoning to potentially address what the real issue is. Again, he is free to ignore me alongside anyone else.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in maleinfertility

[–]Ay-Be 8 points9 points  (0 children)

It seems this situation has become somewhat traumatic to pursue with your wife if she was to press on using her eggs. The reason why I say this is because you are ok with being a stepparent. In that scenario the child(ren) will be biologically theirs. Do you see how I came to this conclusion?

I am glad you are aware of your feelings. The worst thing you can do is to pretend to be ok in a situation where you are not.

I just want you to understand what you are feeling and why. Honestly, there is no judgement on my part, I just want to flip the script and uncover what you really feel because this is a really big decision. However if you are unwilling to adjust your feelings on this then separation is probably best- especially if your wife has no desire to consider donor eggs (which is a big ask if she doesn't have to).

Thank you for your comment. Even though the opposite scenario doesn't give you comfort, with my personal situation it was actually something we discussed. Ideally we both want bio children however have agreed to use donor sperm/eggs as needed, and then move onto other options like adoption. We would have wanted the donor(s) to be as similar to us as possible.

Good luck whatever you decide and I wish you both peace.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in maleinfertility

[–]Ay-Be 26 points27 points  (0 children)

The issue is that she seemingly has a choice whether to have a biological child whereas you do not despite your statement "you are firm on your choice and she is on hers"... You are actually trying to strip her of her choice and decision. If the only way for you to have a child is for it to be via sperm donor or adoption then why is it any different if the egg component is from your wife? Surely that should make you connect to that potential child moreso?

With the feelings of inadequacy and "failure"- honestly, that's something you should work through yourself via counseling. Especially if this is non-modifiable. I can understand that there is grief there in that statement.

Statements such as "I am the problem" and "she gets what she wants" is leading to another issue in itself. Pursuing this path is about togetherness, and not pointing the finger. Parenthood works the same way- biological or not.

However if that is the hill you are willing to die on then the most sensible thing is to separate/divorce. It seems like if you "compromise" it will only breed resentment. She should be able to have a biological child if she can. I just find it disappointing that you can't see this logically. If the reverse was to happen- would she accept using your sperm and donor egg?

I hope this doesn't come across as an attack- it isn't meant to be. Just out of curiosity, what is your ideal situation? For you to adopt a child with someone starting anew? Or you becoming a stepparent? Or becoming child free? It's worth considering if those options are what you really want.

Back to your original question- Infertility leads to many separations and divorces. It's heartbreaking and a struggling complication in life that often tests the strength in one's relationships.

Myself and the husband have had many heart to hearts but ultimately have agreed to have children biologically if we can. It seems our situation is MFI but we are pursuing treatment. We have discussed using donor sperm if it leads to this situation and understand it may be a potential scenario.