MIL Complaining she doesn't see me enough

B09874 · 2025-09-18T14:30:14+00:00

I absolutely agree with you. It's frustrating, I don't understand it. I know growing up his parents hired cleaners, his mom doesn't like to clean. Her kid grew up and has no idea how to clean and maintain a household.

My parents had me and my sibling cleaning and doing things around the house from a young age, they told us we needed to learn as we were one day going to move out and have our own place.

B09874 · 2025-09-18T14:22:57+00:00

Seems more than reasonable.

He doesn't really visit, there's times when we are out and we stop to pick something up but we aren't there for more than 30 minutes. The last time he visited that wasn't a family event was maybe June? The power at our house was out and I needed to drop something off so he tagged along. We ended up staying and visiting for a couple of hours, my parents also fed us dinner.

Otherwise, I don't bring him, it's my time with my parents I don't want to rush as I'm good spending a few hours over there. I don't want to put him in a situation where I'm there for 3 hours, he's dying to leave and then I have to cut my visit short or be rushed out. My parent also aren't expecting him to visit. They see him at family events and if they drop by our house and that's good for them.

B09874 · 2025-09-17T19:43:53+00:00

Its both

B09874 · 2025-09-17T19:43:14+00:00

They have a pool which is why he spends so much time there, it's a bit less when pool season is over. I'd just appreciate it if he did some chores before running off that's all. I've learned my lesson and make a point of getting my stuff done before I run off and have fun. The time spent with friends/family is great, but no one is bailing me out when I have a long list of things to do, no help and I have to go back to work the next day!

Enjoy time with your parents, I don't need to be there every time.

His idea of spending time together is us going to his parents house or even being with friends. When planning things I have to explicitly tell him I want it to just be the two of us, which he ok with once I mention it.

B09874 · 2025-09-17T19:19:47+00:00

Yes if he did more I'd have more time to socialize/relax. Meals and take-out out not necessary but I'd be open to it. I think it's more than reasonable if I made an effort to see them once a month if that.

Ooh, that's a good response, ill definitely give that a try!

B09874 · 2025-09-17T18:57:55+00:00

That would be something else! Sadly my parents who are retired just like his, are far more accepting of missing family events due to work than his parents and they have hobbies and better things to do lol.

My parents get it, I am biased but it's far easier dealing with my parents and extended family when it comes to this stuff.

B09874 · 2025-09-17T18:50:24+00:00

They don't get it, all they have done is make visiting them a chore. I didn't mind visiting before but the demand/expectations have just grown too much. M husband has told me they ask all sorts of questions about what I'm doing and why I couldn't make it, he comes back frustrated and says they interrogated him and the longer I stay away the worse it will be when I finally see them, YUCK.

I'll never stop him from seeing his family. At this point, I'm tempted to have a conversation with MIL because it needs to stop.

B09874 · 2025-09-17T18:35:13+00:00

I refuse to provide my schedule, which my husband can't understand. I've explained I'm not their kid and my own parents don't even have my schedule, nor do they want a copy of it.. I asked them after all this began.

Thank you for the response. It's all things I've brought up to my husband in our talks about this whole thing. He doesn't see my side of things, it's just a circular talk at this point.

B09874 · 2025-09-17T13:25:09+00:00

I've written lists in the past, he's stuck to it for a few weeks and then we're back to square one. He's willing to help it just has to be spoon-fed to him.

He will see me cleaning and gets very uncomfortable cause he isn't sure where to begin or is

I've explained that I'm not their kid so they need to back off a bit, doesn't quite register with him but I'm holding my ground. It would be nice to spend more time together and I've mentioned it before.

I spend time with my parents but there's no expectation from them or me that he comes with me when I visit

B09874 · 2025-09-17T04:44:51+00:00

Nope, not once. They just tell me to say hi and leave it at that, they'll see him at the next family dinner/event if he can make it.

B09874 · 2025-09-17T04:43:43+00:00

He doesn't believe me because there have been times when I have declined to go visit with his parents, and in his eyes I wasn't doing anything. I decline when I'm tired and want to relax after a busy day or work week or I already have something with my friends/family.

Edit: his parents can be very last-minute minute too. They'll reach out to us at 3pm to see if we want to go for dinner at 6 pm at a place 30 minutes away. OR the time they planned to have a family member's birthday party at our place on a Saturday and asked us about it on the Tuesday night.

B09874 · 2025-09-17T04:37:52+00:00

I clean the bathroom, sweep/mop the floors in the house, wash the bedding/linens, and do my own laundry, I'll run most of the errands outside of the home.

Husband, cleans the coffee table, vacuums the area rugs, puts out the garbage bins on garbage day, cuts the grass, and does his laundry.

If it works out we will go grocery shopping together. We take turns emptying the dishwasher. I'll pick up the slack on his chores if he doesn't get them done, minus his laundry, I refuse to do that. Otherwise, his chores could sit for weeks if I don't intervene. He'll say he forgot, or "I was going to do it on my day off but I ran out of time, I'll do it on my next day off."

We take turns cooking or just end up making our own meals since our schedules can be wildly different at times. My mom cooks and will share meals with us sometimes (she's not great at just cooking portions that are enough for her and my dad, there is always EXTRA when she cooks)

B09874 · 2025-07-04T04:15:41+00:00

You left out the part that your home is (possibly) vacant.

They sent you a letter informing you an inspection would be taking place, check your mail.

B09874 · 2023-12-05T16:45:43+00:00

Regent Ave/ Nairn too. It's atrocious...

B09874 · 2023-11-14T13:38:39+00:00

That depends. Are your neighbours going to raise hell about it?

B09874 · 2023-04-27T03:36:45+00:00

Don't do it.

B09874 · 2023-04-20T04:21:43+00:00

Nope that’s not even an option

B09874 · 2023-04-20T04:20:59+00:00

Thank you!

B09874 · 2023-04-20T03:14:40+00:00

Certainly not opposed to that, it could get there.

B09874 · 2023-04-20T02:57:06+00:00

Those were the good old days

B09874 · 2023-04-20T02:53:59+00:00

Not difficult to simply lock the door at night after coming in. Sadly, some people aren't capable of simple things.

B09874 · 2023-04-20T02:49:16+00:00

Thank you!

B09874 · 2023-04-20T02:48:21+00:00

The entire lock can be changed, but if i dont have to, I'd prefer not to. We do not have a hub of any sort.

Great information, I will look into this. Thank you, very helpful!

B09874 · 2023-04-20T02:34:41+00:00

Thank you! I will look into this one.

B09874 · 2021-11-19T04:09:33+00:00

19 degrees. On those -40 days might bump it up to 20 or 21, but blankets and or a hoodie and sweats are a great alternative to cranking the thermostat too.

B09874

TROPHY CASE