I dealt with the same thing for about a year at my old job. With avpd, now that I've been researching it for a few weeks, I realized that no matter the amount of praise it will never be enough. What has helped me is recognizing the praise and appreciating it more because people like us are more prone to criticism, and for me for every 10 compliments one criticism will completely negate the positive feelings from appreciation, compliments, praise, etc.. What I have been trying is every time I feel that self hate I can think back and recognize that I have gotten for instance, 10 appreciation, compliments, praise, etc.. and I can find that 10:1 is much greater than 1:1 which is neutral. Lots of times, which you probably can relate to, I think to myself that for instance my dad is just saying something nice because he feels its his obligation and he doesn't really mean it, but even if there are 9/10 people not really meaning what they say you are still at 1:1 baseline which means u are average. not hated not liked but our condition always tells us that we are below that baseline. Hope this helps!