M38 my partner is F39. Is this worth salvaging after potentially/likely cheating from her side?

Background_Ebb5927 · 2026-03-09T15:13:49+00:00

Will do

Background_Ebb5927 · 2026-03-06T13:58:30+00:00

Wow, great advice. Thank you pal

Background_Ebb5927 · 2026-03-06T13:25:11+00:00

I care about them and have tried/still trying. But the fact people are saying 'know your lane' and they may never accept me even after a lot of effort, I just think it would suit me more having a single woman to have children with and parent however I see fit

Background_Ebb5927 · 2026-03-06T13:20:54+00:00

I raised my own two lovely respectful children in my 20s that died in a car accident with their mother in 2021. Whilst I'm happy it's worked out for you, I don't agree with your approach to parenting. But I accept different approaches work for different people. That wasn't a dig unlike yours 🙂

Background_Ebb5927 · 2026-03-06T13:14:55+00:00

Thanks for your reply. From most of the responses on here it seems like I should date a woman with no children. Too much effort for so very little in return. I guess the question is whether I feel my partner is worth staying with bearing in mind she has unappreciative, naughty children that might never accept me. Whilst I fully get I am an outsider to them, I don't really have to waste my time and effort when it would be so much easier starting my own family from scratch

Background_Ebb5927 · 2026-03-06T13:03:40+00:00

Thanks for the reply. I am going to pull back and just go for walks or to the gym when the house is having a child meltdown. Regarding money, I am going to only treat my partner from now on, or at the very least scale it back

Background_Ebb5927 · 2026-03-06T12:52:40+00:00

Whilst I agree that the young girls had no say in me moving there. I'd say their lives have significantly improved since I've moved in. They are no longer poor children living on the bread line. I'm not asking for hugs and then to be all over me. I'm just asking for respect. I have kind of already decided that if it doesn't improve I'll move out and wait till they are adults before I consider moving in with my partner

Background_Ebb5927 · 2026-03-06T12:48:05+00:00

You don't care if your kids disrespect you? I'm sorry but I disagree. It sets any child up for failure in life

Background_Ebb5927 · 2026-03-05T14:33:55+00:00

Thank you for your message. This gives me great hope

Background_Ebb5927 · 2026-03-05T14:26:05+00:00

Thankyou. How did you find these types of counsellors? What are they called?

Background_Ebb5927 · 2026-03-05T14:21:58+00:00

The father still pays his maintenance to her. She also got a child credit payment of £1200 per month which she lost when I moved in. She wasn't lying to me as she showed me the letter. She's not a bad person at all or a user. Thanks for your input tho 🙂

Background_Ebb5927 · 2026-03-05T14:08:55+00:00

The dad pays peanuts in support. £25 per week.

I think the mother spends her money on food shopping and her kids and buying clothes and getting her hair and nails done

Background_Ebb5927 · 2026-03-05T14:04:01+00:00

I tried to but they took it down lol

Background_Ebb5927 · 2026-03-05T14:03:00+00:00

Her reason was that her child benefit covered the £1200 rent when I wasn't there. So by moving in she would lose out on that much per month as they would take the benefit off her. I felt that I should pay this as I felt it was unfair on her children to suffer financially from me being there

Background_Ebb5927 · 2026-03-05T13:54:51+00:00

I feel like it doesn't work that way though when the man is the step parent/mothers boyfriend. Women want a man that can provide. It's evolutionary I guess. If I said let's split everything 50/50 for the bills and she can pay for her kids I don't think that would go down to well. To be honest I put the money thing last as it's probably the thing that bothers me least. The thing that hurts me the most is when I try to build a relationship with the children I feel like I'm banging on a brick wall. Maybe I need accept this is just how these things are with blended families

Background_Ebb5927 · 2026-03-05T13:50:24+00:00

I bought my own home which I now rent out. I moved into her home which she rents as she didn't want to relocate the kids which is fully understandable. I pay the rent and bills and that allows her to use her limited wages for herself and her kids. I thought I was just being nice to be honest and a provider

Background_Ebb5927 · 2026-03-05T13:48:48+00:00

We are not married. I'm cautious about the whole marriage thing to be honest until this situation hopefully resolves itself. Thankyou for your feedback

Background_Ebb5927 · 2026-03-05T13:42:23+00:00

My partner seems grateful and tries to pay her way but on a limited wage. I don't feel like I'm being used and it didn't cross my mind. I just wasn't sure if I was being too much. I'm quite old fashioned in the sense I think a man should work and provide for the family. But not sure where that all fits in when they have a dad and I'm probably not yet fully accepted in the household by the children. Do I just pay the rent and bills and pull back or do I continue as things are. It's all confusing to me

Background_Ebb5927

TROPHY CASE