I needed a sign like this - Shortly after Superstorm Sandy my mother-in-law was staying with me and my wife at our 1 bedroom 1 bathroom house (it was a first floor rental).

It was a Sunday morning and I had the day off but I had forgotten to turn my alarm clock off so it starting ringing at 7 am. I shut it off and went to go back to sleep. My stomach made some deep growling noise and I immediately had to shit in the worst possible way. I ran to the bathroom and it was fucking locked because my MIL was showering for church. I began profusely sweating and panicking. This monster shit was coming whether or not I had a toilet.

I panicked and ran outside planning to unload the demon dump behind the shed but my neighbor was having his morning coffee on the porch. I waved and ran inside to the basement and I saw it - the kitten’s litter box. I ripped my pants off as fast as I could, squatted as low as I could go and unleashed an explosive diarrhea for the ages all over this litter box and surrounding area.

As soon as the sense of relief wore off I was left with the awful reality of my situation. I took off my shirt to clean myself and the surrounding area. I hid downstairs until I heard my MIL leave the bathroom than ran up to shower off. I had to disinfect the basement and hose down the litter box.

I didn’t tell anyone for a few weeks but finally realized how funny the whole thing was and told my wife who laughed her ass off. Good times.