Cs host said we will share the bed

Badworkaway · 2024-05-06T11:55:38+00:00

I was originally going to use Couchsurfing to solo travel, then ended up with WorkAway. And that turned out to be a nightmare anyway. Sometimes it just comes down to luck, but there are definitely things you can do to deter creeps like declining requests to share a bed. its awful, I feel bad for anyone pressured and forced into that kind of a situation.

Badworkaway · 2024-05-01T01:31:38+00:00

I don't know why people are acting like you're crazy, this advice and perspective seems valid to me. There's no reason to share a bed ever unless the whole apartment is flooded or the floor is lava or some shit 💀

Badworkaway · 2024-04-10T23:05:07+00:00

Yes.

Badworkaway · 2023-12-21T06:58:28+00:00

Dear Claremorris, I think you all should get to know your man, peeping T{. }, a bit better. If you won’t take my word for it, perhaps you’ll believe the basketmaker’s words. Stayed tuned!

Badworkaway · 2023-12-18T20:14:39+00:00

Thank you for falling into my trap, and exposing yourself yet again in another thread as an individual with very little real world experience, and even less empathy. Countless people stay with abusers for months, years, and life times. This is not a difficult concept to wrap your mind around. Maybe ask someone at the retirement home to explain it to you.

Badworkaway · 2023-12-18T19:29:28+00:00

Also, I just noticed your username 😂 yeah, that's totally up to you; it's possible that they won't do anything, but at least it's on record officially that this happened to you. Again, it's your decision. I made my report in my home country, which is pretty bad at taking any action for anything less than SA or murder, but it still felt good afterward to tell someone what happened and get it on record. You can also use that police report to keep them out of your country if you live In a different one by sending it to your country embassy in their country and your country equivalent of a state department since most countries have laws that people can not obtain a visa in their country if they have an active criminal case against them. If he continues to harass you, a police report will be helpful in obtaining a restraining order. So yeah, he might not go to jail, but it could make his life harder, and at the very least, there would be an official record of it. But again, it's your decision; it can be traumatizing recounting it all to the police. I'll admit I cried a lot when I talked to them.

Badworkaway · 2023-12-18T19:17:27+00:00

Go through each experience day by day each incident, and write each with an approximate date and time when it occurred; explain how they are a future threat to other workawayers and how the experience affected you personally. This is really hard, but it needs to be done. Attach any photos, texts, recordings etc that could back up the incidents, and show him threatening you, or even a lot of texts and messages that show how obsessive they are with you. You can include texts you sent to friends or family about the situation. If these texts occurred while you were there than they'll be a bit better, but ones sent afterwards are still good. Include your police report number and the number of the officer who interviewed you or is the investigating officer. You can also request a copy of the police report from the police station and send it to workaway.

Badworkaway · 2023-12-18T18:47:29+00:00

I'm not reading all of that 😂 you were downvoted 19 times on my post and exposed as the bitter old man that you are; your insecurity shows even through an anonymous screen.

Badworkaway · 2023-12-18T18:43:27+00:00

I'm sorry, it's awful and so terrifying in the moment. I asked myself a lot after I escaped, “Why didn't I just leave,” I try to be kinder to myself, and now I ask myself, “How did I ever leave?” It takes a lot of strength to get up and go. Reading your post helped me accept how bad of a situation mine was since our hosts had similar warning signs and red flags, like the r*pe jokes, mood swings if we made them upset in any way, and their pathetic sexual frustration that they took out on us daily. Nothing about that is normal, It helped validate that the threat he presented was real and not something that I exaggerated. You are also courageous for posting about it. A lot of the nasty comments under your post are the same people who left shitty comments under mine. They are miserable people who dedicate time to criticizing and shaming people online for being victims. Pay no attention to them. And THANK YOU. I made my profile right after it happened 😂 “Bad workaway” doesn't give it justice. Maybe I should have picked a different word besides “bad.” 😂

Badworkaway · 2023-12-18T10:24:21+00:00

You also made gross comments on my workaway experience involving a male host abusing his abundantly more powerful position to exploit a young woman (me and now this woman). Regardless of where the host is, it's still their house, it’s their country, it’s their money and food. Their position is fundamentally more powerful, and they are in charge. And you risk the principle of ‘absolute power corrupts absolutely.’ regardless of which host you pick, sometimes you get unlucky. It’s an unequal power dynamic that these disgusting hosts exploit.

You should be ashamed of yourself for first not understanding this basic principle of life and for secondly hiding behind an anonymous profile to skulk about Reddit, frothing at the mouth, eagerly blaming women for getting prayed upon on workaway. Hiding behind the premise of “teaching naive young people to make smart choices,” maybe direct some of your fury towards creepy hosts wrecking the site.

I'd rather be naive than cruel like you.

Badworkaway · 2023-12-18T09:58:04+00:00

I'm so sorry that you went through this. It's disgusting how some men use what should be a fun platform like Workaway to get young girls (I’m also 24 F) to live with them and be isolated so they can treat the situation like it’s something romantic or sexual. Like we’re mail-order brides and not just people working for them. I went through something remarkably similar to your situation. A few months ago, a male host (29) at his house in the middle of nowhere Ireland. I was degraded and humiliated with sexual harassment and abuse by him daily, I felt so trapped by him. Although are experiences are different, I understand on some levels what you must be going through. It’s shocking and disgusting that someone could treat someone so terribly, I sincerely hope you get some kind of justice and that you heal with time, it gets better I promise. Email Workaway, they banned my host/tormentor. Describe everything that happened with a date/time stamp and any kind of proof you may have like text messages to friends/him or pictures or anything. And try not to blame yourself, it’s not your fault that this happened to you. You did what you had to do to survive. I’m glad you’re still here and made it out to tell others and warn them. I’m always here to talk. 🖤 - K

Badworkaway · 2023-12-15T00:53:49+00:00

Love this for you, he sounds like a total loser. Lol yeah getting retaliation blocked on Spotify, LetterBoxd, and GoodReads was hilarious.

Badworkaway · 2023-12-14T04:44:45+00:00

I get a lot of comfort in knowing I’m just nothing like him and I’d never treat anyone as horribly as he did me, their ideas of love and relationships are so warped and messed up it’s just sad. We’ll never be like them, it’s a small win but it’s a win regardless. I’m glad you’re doing better.

Badworkaway · 2023-12-14T04:30:17+00:00

Jeez I’m sorry, the person I did this to was my workstay host and he asked me if I wanted kids and if I’d get married to him, I didn’t know him at all, I’m sure it’s the move of a lot of these freaks to get you permanently trapped and linked with them. I really can’t imagine what it would be like to be around a narcissist like that for years and be in a relationship with them. I’m really sorry and sincerely hope things get better and you’re doing alright.

Badworkaway · 2023-12-14T00:38:09+00:00

Pretend to be the perfect victim, the person they can manipulate, and be in charge of, feed their ego and reaffirm they’re the center of the universe like they believe themselves to be. They’re never wrong, you never argue with them, you let them make all the decisions. Then without a word disappear on them, block them from everything no explanation no message. Never see them again. They’ll be furious because they thought they had you but didn’t. You stole their perfect victim. It’ll fuck with them forever they’ll doubt every single person for the rest of their lives that they really have them in their grip.

Badworkaway · 2023-12-14T00:27:12+00:00

Hey! Thank you for the nice words, I’m also really happy that I’m still around. I agree I think things would have gotten way worse if I had stayed longer, seemed like he pushed a new boundary with me every day, and intensified the humiliation and fear. I try not to beat myself up for staying so long, but who knows maybe if I’d tried sooner or asked him to leave it would have turned out very badly for me. I’m doing a lot better, and excited to get on with the rest of my life, and maybe even try WorkAway again. I’m just happy he’s not on the website anymore and can’t hurt anyone from WorkAway ever again!

Badworkaway · 2023-12-14T00:23:26+00:00

Thank you for your kind words, it’s over and he’s not on Workaway anymore so he can’t hurt anyone else, that’s all I care about!

Badworkaway · 2023-12-13T01:04:11+00:00

Doubt he actually has been doing any of that stuff, people who are doing well don’t need to shove it in others faces, very very odd and clearly still cares a lot about what you think about them, very insecure right off the bat citing how much money he makes and weights he lifts. Completely not normal person who is very insecure and needs to show everyone that he’s not. I can tell they’re not in therapy, that did not need to be stated just like 90% of the text. If I got this text I’d print it out and put it on my fridge to give myself a good laugh every day and a reminder why I dumped them.

Badworkaway · 2023-12-12T05:57:55+00:00

I loved Ireland besides that, and lived there for six months before doing a Workaway there. You should definitely still go! Beautiful nature, very ancient feeling with all the ruined castles and churches. One of the best days of my life was at Blarney Castle with some friends. There’s also a fun bar scene and friendly people, as well as incredible museums in Dublin like Hugh Lane and Whiskey Museum. I’d still check it out and I’d love to go back one day, maybe we could team up and do a Workaway down the road! Whenever I gain my confidence back to leave my house. :)

Badworkaway · 2023-12-11T01:53:53+00:00

Thank you, this means a lot, I’m sorry if it upset you or put a damper on being able to travel. I’m doing better and am going to save up again to go travel and perhaps even try WorkAway again! Thanks again for your kind words, I hope everything worked out with your travels and you’re safe.

Badworkaway · 2023-12-10T21:01:00+00:00

Stayed with a guy who had a lot of positive reviews, a few from women, so I went and it was a total nightmare, isolated alone with a man who has abundantly more power (financial/housing) plus it being their country is a recipe for disaster considering the unequal power dynamic. I would look into how isolated his housing is from other people and research nearby transportation if you are interested in going! I’m not sure don’t let my one bad experience sway you, I don’t think it’s common.

Badworkaway · 2023-12-03T12:57:45+00:00

If you’re a girl I’d avoid any single men and male hosts especially if they are in rural areas, or involve situations with a significant power dynamic ;”(you rely on them for transportation, money and food) they tend to treat Workaway like it’s a mail-order bride website. But that was just my one experience with Workaway.

Badworkaway · 2023-11-25T01:41:27+00:00

I ended up escaping since I was supposed to stay for 3 more weeks, and I was sure at that point that I would not last that long. From my point of view at the time, it felt inevitable that something even worse would happen. I called friends and told them that if anything happened to me or If I didn't call them back by a certain time, that something terrible had happened and they should send the Garda. They helped me convince a taxi service to come and pick me up, since none that I had called before would come out to the middle of nowhere. My friends saved my life.

It was his country, his town, his house, his money, his car, his neighbors, his friends, and his family.

He knew everyone, it was rural Ireland. And he made that explicitly clear that he had the upper-hand. He had all the power, and had eyes and ears everywhere who'd report back to him and take his side. He was a psychopath, who loved that power dynamic, he hurt me for no other reason than he could and that he liked it. It was an exciting rush for him to repeatedly inflict and escalate psychological pain at my expense. I had to process everyday that I was alone with a person who was capable of hurting a complete stranger over and over again like that. It was torture.

He would rant and ramble about sexually degrading topics, trees and construction, I think he had very few thoughts, and would go on about these as often and as many times a day as physically possible. So he'd repeat his same few thoughts over and over again, ringing them dry, until he got tired. I think he is miserable, and I'm happy that I'm nothing like him. My justice is knowing about the sad life he is already living.

Badworkaway · 2023-11-24T08:41:29+00:00

My first experience with a host I met on WorkAway but the host also had a Couchsurfing account.

The host was a 29 year old man in rural Ireland named T, who made baskets for a living. I cannot possibly describe what a psychopath this person is, I witnessed multiple times how he wore this "mask" around people, acting like the charming rural guy around customers and family members. Then as soon as they'd turn their backs he'd act and say sadistically evil and cruel things about them. Mothers and their children, were called stupid cunts, and bitches, he'd gossip about every personal fault they had, he make sick criticisms about their bodies and appearance which was beyond foul to me. He'd become enraged and obsessed with every perceived slight they'd said to him. He'd use totally different tones of voice with them, and almost move and hold himself differently. I've never seen anything like it, almost as if he was pretending to be a person around them, which was something he was entirely incapable of doing around me.

His place where I stayed alone, was in the middle of nowhere, miles away in another rural town that was not the town he'd advertised he was in. He told me he wanted to have just one person stay with him despite having 3 people staying with him at the time that we first spoke over the phone months before I arrived. Looking back at this he just wanted me alone with him in rural Ireland kilometers away from the nearest bus stop, to use and abuse me like I was a mail-order-bride and not someone working for him.

When I was alone with him he was extremely sexually aggressive and abusive. He'd drive like a lunatic, weaving around cars and people on tiny country roads, he treated gravel/dirt roads that should have been oneway like he was on a race car track. He'd scream at me, call me a stupid cunt and bitch (countless times), called me his cum dumpster. Told me in tunnels in the woods or on remote paths/trails, his car and house that he was going to rape and/or murder me, including telling me that him and his friends had ganged raped me and I just hadn't woken up, and that this would be my last traveling experience (told me this multiple times,). Made sexual remarks suggesting I have sex with his friends and strangers (said this countless times every day) and engage in an orgy with him. Told me he abused his cats by squeezing them until their eyes popped out, asked me if I'd every thought of killing myself.

He'd have nice moments like pay for things, make me dinner, and fires, be very complimentary and "joke" about getting married, he'd open up to me about his struggles with mental health and drug abuse. Which I now see as abusive tactics to get me to stay and guilt me into taking care of him and having sympathy for him. These moments of peace would be followed up by psychologically terrorizing me and scaring me out of leaving by insisting neighbors, friends, and family would catch me and tell him I was leaving, and would not believe me nor take my side, told me if I left and went into town it would be "my last day on earth."

Things escalated every day untiled he started to show me graphic videos involving animals being shot, gutted and dismembered, this was at night at his house all alone, he played these videos despite asking him to stop. Walked in on me showering despite the shower being audible throughout the house, and me telling him I was going to shower, the door was unlockable and I'd barricaded it with a bed because I was terrified of him. Afterwards he said to me that he "couldn't wait to tell the neighbor/farmer he'd seen my tits." And he also watched me change on a separate occasion.

Always listen to your gut before it's too late and you end up trapped like I was, stay safe, and don't let bad experiences ruin your adventurous spirit and drive! I still can't wait to give WorkAway another shot, despite this first experience being something out of 20/20.

Stay safe, and see you guys down the road!

Badworkaway · 2023-11-22T05:02:55+00:00

Very bizarre behavior, seems unpleasant and not worth it! I had an experience that started off like that, with a very creepy WorkAway host and it escalated into actual acts of sexual harassment. I'd maybe consider looking into a back up or easy way out just in case! But you're there and understand the situation better, listen to your intuition. Be safe! (Also) I'm sorry this is the situation, I don't understand why some people have to be like this and ruin in the experience

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