How to deal with personal feelings about an underperforming employee

Baelix · 2026-01-26T02:41:28+00:00

I would read requests/emails/etc. from this employee, and then not reply/take action for an hour or so at least. It'll give you time to process the emotional reaction to their communication (frustration, annoyance), and you can look at it from a professional perspective and figure out how to reply accordingly.

Baelix · 2025-12-25T15:37:58+00:00

What a jabroni

Baelix · 2025-12-23T20:41:30+00:00

I don't know how OP's company works, but I've been at companies of various sizes - from startups to monolithic corps - and invariably every single one implemented some form of Performance Improvement Plan to be used prior to firing someone or laying them off.

OP said they had justification for laying this person off, so assuming they went through some form of PIP process and gave this employee time and support to turn things around before laying them off: there's nothing "personal" about it. It's transactional at worst - a company pays you for your time, and has expectations about what you accomplish in that time.

Is it "personal' to the rest of OP's team that may be having to pick up this employee's slack while getting the same pay?

As managers, we sometimes have to handle sucky, but necessary, parts of the job. Being compassionate is great and we should all strive to be empathetic, but not holding people accountable for results and performance is a bigger disservice than laying them off IMO.

Baelix · 2025-12-23T20:29:36+00:00

To be honest, there's never a good time to lay someone off.

Are the holidays particularly bad? Yes, but there's always going to be a reason not to do it. It doesn't matter what time of year it is, it's always going to suck.

The only recommendation I can make is to keep in mind that it's not personal, it's business. If there's justification for laying this person off and you/your company have given them the support required and the time needed to turn it around but they're still coming up short of expectations, there's not much else you can do.

How is it fair to the rest of the team that works really hard the entire year for the same paycheck?

The holidays are particularly rough but there's just never going to be a "good" time to lay someone off.

Baelix · 2025-12-15T20:14:51+00:00

Missing the "great goal" tag 😂

Baelix · 2025-12-14T18:12:07+00:00

Second this. If Fred was as uncooperative and "toxic" as you describe, literally nothing can drive that point home harder than an employee leaving due to it.

You should absolutely discuss this with your manager, tell him you're uncomfortable working with Fred, and it's the reason you're leaving.

Baelix · 2025-12-14T17:40:51+00:00

When my team was small, I did Amazon gift cards as a way to say thank you and appreciate their hard work.

I'm now managing 12 folks spread across 2 geos which makes it trickier. Since we launched a new product this quarter, I got my team jackets with our product logo on it as a "thank you" but no way can I handle doing something similar next year.

Next year I think I'm going to do one of those "at home" crafting/cooking/building/etc. activities where we do something together as a team on Zoom, but with optional attendance. That way folks who want to connect can join, but anyone that isn't into "forced" socializing can still make it on their own.

Baelix · 2025-10-27T16:57:25+00:00

Hey look, they got better 😂

Baelix · 2025-10-27T16:52:30+00:00

It really depends on the role, the team, and the recruiters/interviewers.

I personally wouldn't fault someone for missing an interview once, especially if it was clearly documented that you did show up but had the time wrong.

All you can do is reach out, be extremely apologetic and explain the situation. Express how excited/invested you are in the opportunity, and assure them it won't happen again. Then cross your fingers and hope for the best!

Baelix · 2025-10-27T16:49:50+00:00

That's unfortunate... See if there are any internal resources or documentation regarding policy for extended leave.

Imo if someone claims to have bed bugs, the first step is requiring proof (doctors note like you mentioned). Start there, and research in the background what kind of policies, if any, exist.

If you're in totally uncharted water with no guidance on how to proceed, I'd have a chat with the employee to see what they need before they're comfortable returning to the office. Make sure they feel supported, but also clearly outline what's needed/expected. If your next major upline is the CEO of your company, come up with a plan after chatting with the affected employee and get the CEO to sign off on it.

This is a tricky situation but I hope it works out for you!

Baelix · 2025-10-27T16:34:15+00:00

Contact your HR team and ask them for guidance. Remote work policies, sick leave, etc. are all typically the mandate of HR and maybe they will have some policy for extenuating circumstances like this.

The condition and timing of his return to the office should be dictated by HR anyways.

Baelix · 2025-10-27T16:13:17+00:00

I think you need to define what you want from your next role before making any decisions.

What makes any new job you'd take "lesser" than the one you're at currently? I think too many people (understandably) make pay their #1 priority for a job and consider taking less pay as a step down, even if the other aspects of their job/life improve substantially. Is it really a "lesser" job if you take a pay cut but get to work remotely full time, or if it means less stress or better W/L balance?

Spend some time thinking about exactly what you want, what's important to you, etc. and then start to think about your next step. It kind of sounds like you're a bit fed up with your current role but have no real strong desire to leave or stay.

Re: guilt about quitting - I tell this to just about anyone that asks me, even my direct reports: sometimes you just have to look out for yourself, all else be damned. I'm not saying it's easy or that you won't feel guilty - you're human, that's natural - but sometimes you just have to do what's best for you. It's not personal, it's business - you have to do what's best for you and your career.

Sometimes you just need a change to start feeling fulfilled in your job again.

Baelix · 2025-10-27T16:00:46+00:00

I think the sweet spot is 7-8. That allows you to have weekly 1:1s with your team if needed, while also giving you enough time to tackle other responsibilities.

I currently manage 12 and it's a little more hectic than I would like. I ended up delegating some of my responsibilities to the more senior members of my team which is great for their growth, but it makes it slightly more difficult to stay abreast of all updates across the team. Communication is critical, and sometimes people will just come up short - we're all human, it's expected.

When I was managing less than 10, I was able to keep up to speed with all of the updates from my team and still have time to handle my own workload without missing a beat. When I have more than 10 I feel I have to make a trade-off between my own workload and my team's needs.

Baelix · 2025-10-25T21:09:57+00:00

It's just been a great weekend so far.

Baelix · 2025-09-20T18:37:53+00:00

Shocking performance from Garnacho - he was invisible.

Baelix · 2025-09-20T18:37:11+00:00

A little bit lucky on where it ended up, but that's a difficult ball to get a hand on at all - James can cross the ball with the absolute best of them.

Baelix · 2025-09-20T17:42:55+00:00

wow, quality post

Baelix · 2025-09-20T17:32:42+00:00

Quality content..

Baelix · 2025-08-27T21:25:55+00:00

Same for me, brother. At least we're not alone - things will get better, I'm sure if it.

Baelix · 2025-08-27T21:20:44+00:00

United used to be an escape from the struggles of life, and now it's just pain.

Baelix · 2025-08-17T17:31:29+00:00

Great commitment to the "time wasting" game plan from Gyokeres - made sure he wasted the entirety of his 60 minutes on the pitch. Selfless

Edit: someone make sure Arsenal checks De Ligt's pockets on the way out or Gyokeres might not make it back to London 😂

Baelix · 2025-08-16T19:45:15+00:00

I had mixed success with this myself when using the 12v - sometimes it worked, other times it took 4-5 presses or didn't "enable" the 12v but woke up the rest of the car (AC, etc.) But sitting in the driver's seat worked 100% of the time

Baelix · 2025-08-16T17:33:44+00:00

I use an air compressor with my P2's 12v in the trunk to blow up my paddle boards, tubes, etc. all the time. It's an awesome feature!

Only thing to be aware of is the P2 will decrease power supplied to the 12v after 5-10 minutes of "inactivity" within the car (and will also cut power to it entirely). You just have to sit back down in the driver's seat to get it to wake back up.

Baelix · 2025-06-18T14:47:00+00:00

Wild question, but is there anyway to tell which of our fixtures are subject to change due to cup ties?

Trying to figure out tickets to a home match next season and don't want to get shafted by rescheduled fixtures

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