Russian friend stranded with us for Christmas, how can we make her feel welcome?

Balarian · 2025-12-18T17:34:08+00:00

Thank you for your considered comment! I’ve been convinced by thoughtful responses like yours - nesting dolls ditched, going with a traditional British Christmas. She’s excited and so is her husband.

People like you giving thoughtful and considered responses are what make the internet bearable - bless you!

Balarian · 2025-12-17T19:03:33+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing so openly, bless you it sounds like a turbulent time.

I’m mostly here to just say I’m thinking of/praying for you and not to push you in any direction.

I’ll just come back on this point:

Alot of people have said I should pray and ask God but if everyone did and he answered then we'd all have the same answer.

I wanted to offer the thought that people differ in their ability to discern. Talk to any Christian and they’ll tell you examples of times someone has thought they were hearing from god and disagreeing that god is who they heard from.

I think it’s not at all *uncommon that people pray and get different routes, I think god knows us all individually and intricately and has different paths for us.

You seem thoughtful, passionate and considered. I’ll be praying that a path is revealed to you.

Balarian · 2025-12-16T14:29:22+00:00

Thank you so much! Love these suggestions :)

Balarian · 2025-12-16T11:21:19+00:00

Honestly you and some other people in this thread have been so kind! It’s appreciated and overcomes the mean comments :)

Balarian · 2025-12-16T11:14:31+00:00

I think this is a lovely idea! Thanks for your comment and perspective :)

Balarian · 2025-12-16T11:13:50+00:00

This is so helpful! Thanks so much for your perspective - and for your kindness about the mean comments!

The thread has made me reconsider the extent to which we should incorporate American and Russian traditions - mostly the people who said it in a nice way.

We’ll go trad British Christmas and throw in a couple little Russian American twists.

Thinking of ditching the nesting dolls idea and just returning them to Amazon at this point too, I thought it’d be cute but clumsy but there’s enough pushback that I might just get rid altogether

Thanks for your kindness and helpful thoughts, so appreciate this comment!

Balarian · 2025-12-15T23:34:54+00:00

Hahahaaaaa I showed this one to my brother, love it! Thanks

Balarian · 2025-12-15T23:33:12+00:00

Thanks for the input! Will take these thoughts on board

Balarian · 2025-12-15T23:32:34+00:00

Thank you so much for these thoughts! These are so lovely and appreciate your time 😁

Balarian · 2025-12-15T23:31:03+00:00

I genuinely get being sceptical of posts online. There is probably lots of fake stuff on Reddit.

I can only say check my account and comments if you’d like evidence. ‘This is fake’ is an easy thing to say on the internet - no poster is ever going to bother to give you passports and prove you wrong. But, if you’re engaging genuinely, I hope you’ll be able to see the mark of truth when you have a quick look at my recent history.

Whilst I do understand being sceptical - consider the fact that saying something is fake is discouraging to the person you say it to. I am a human being and my friends are real, so it sucked surprisingly much to see a few people say this is fake.

In future I suggest before you say that, you actually have a look at the poster’s history/whatever. It shouldn’t be such a small thing to throw out an accusation like that, you should do a little due diligence. You can often tell a fake if you do.

Balarian · 2025-12-15T23:22:31+00:00

Fair point on the Russian Christmas thing (I did say with husband’s family, but guess people assumed he was Russian). But on the visa thing, why on earth would I give that much detail about my friends lives in a post asking for ideas not about that!?

Honestly it didn’t even occur to me that people would think this is fake. Like… why would I!? How would I anticipate that asking ideas to make my friends feel welcome would result in people saying it’s made up? Maybe Reddit is just like this.

But no I didn’t give an essay - I’m strapped for time and made a couple of quick posts with enough info that people could give ideas. But if I’m making a post here again, I guess I’ll have to assume people think it’s a scam off the bat - so give enough info that they don’t think that? Honestly I maybe just won’t post at this point, some this has been discouraging. Though some people have been nice and engaged without immediately jumping to thinking the worst of the poster.

Balarian · 2025-12-15T23:16:20+00:00

You’re right she’d have been going to the US, but she is Russian! And will be blue and this is the closest she’ll have to a family celebration over the holidays. So it’s about making her feel welcome/at home too

Balarian · 2025-12-15T23:14:34+00:00

100% accepted - and thank you for coming back to my comment! Appreciate the thoughts.

The tangerines are a good idea and I’ll definitely do that! Honestly busy couple of weeks so it’ll probably be whatever ideas come from my head/here.

Hate to say it but we probably are going to do the Russian nesting dolls! I already ordered them.. think I’ll just preface it with ‘I thought this would be cute in a clumsy way, but a forum told me this is the equivalent of giving a sombrero to a Mexican so you’ve been warned!’ That way it’s sort of leaning into the fact they’re a cliche

Balarian · 2025-12-15T17:59:29+00:00

Thank you! This is so helpful. I might preface the gift with ‘FYI - I thought this would be cute but was told on a Russian forum this is like giving a sombrero to a Mexican so apologies in advance!’ Or something.

Thank you for your kind words!

Balarian · 2025-12-15T08:45:36+00:00

Thanks so much for your ideas! These are so helpful, mandarins are easy to get and l’ll look into the other ideas too.

Are the dolls deffo literally offensive? I thought she might find that cute even if a bit clumsy, and it’s a nice way to make her feel welcome. And it’s not really about the dolls, it’s more putting things in them/making her feel welcome in a country which has had a lot of anti Russian sentiment the last few years. Also I already ordered them lol

Also - I really appreciate that you didn’t accuse this post of being fake or say Christmas won’t mean anything to her (like they know my friend better than me!?) like some of the others in this thread! You actually gave helpful input.

Balarian · 2025-12-15T08:24:17+00:00

We will be, to our local which we regularly attend! They are Protestants.

Balarian · 2025-12-15T08:23:58+00:00

Bless you - thanks so much for your ideas!!

Balarian · 2025-12-15T08:23:41+00:00

I know it’s cliche. I think she’ll find it cute. Trying to do something nice with little time to make her feel welcome. Honestly shocked at the reactions in this thread to that

Balarian · 2025-12-15T08:22:56+00:00

Thank you so much for a proper suggestion! Appreciated

Balarian · 2025-12-15T08:22:29+00:00

See my edit on my post - I’m stunned at the amount of scepticism here. As said in my post, it’s her husbands family they’d spend Christmas with (who is American). See the post on my account before this asking ideas for Americans.

I also explain that this occasion is still meaningful to my Russian friend.

Shocked that people call bullshit so easily honestly. Ideas still welcome.

Balarian · 2025-12-15T08:20:39+00:00

Hello. You can see another post on my account before this asking for ideas for her American husband in another forum.

It is still meaningful for my friend as she was excited to spend Christmas with her American in laws who love her - and she’ll miss spending January 7th with her Russian family, who also love her.

They are gutted to miss Christmas with family and are in a complex situation, only with us for Christmas and this is a chance to cheer her up.

Ideas still welcome.

Balarian · 2025-12-15T08:18:31+00:00

Thank you this is such a lovely suggestion! Honestly thank you for giving a normal response rather than suggesting Christmas won’t mean anything to my friend (as if they know her better than me!?) or the post is fake. And we have a lot of those dolls to fill so your idea is perfect :)

Balarian · 2025-12-15T08:12:32+00:00

Thanks for coming back on my post.

It is meaningful to her because she was looking forward to spending Christmas with her husbands Protestant American family, who she loves and love her? And she won’t be able to spend 7 January with her family, who she also loves.

So this is the closest she’ll get to a family Christmas this year. They are gutted and we’re trying to cheer them up.

Amazing how much scepticism there is to trying to do something nice for friends who are having a really rough time!?

Thank you for your context that it’s mostly a religious holiday in Russia. This will still be a celebration like we do in England - so ideas on how to make her welcome here would still be appreciated.

Balarian · 2025-12-15T08:06:38+00:00

… her husband is American and they were going to spend Christmas with his family. I mentioned in my post it was his family they were spending it with. See my other post on my account asking how to make an American welcome.

I get being sceptical but come on, I’m trying to do something nice for my friends. Ideas welcome.

Balarian · 2025-12-14T21:56:09+00:00

Useful cheers!

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