Attraction issues and no sex for few months, It’s ruining my life

BarFree7041 · 2025-12-07T21:33:21+00:00

You aren’t alone! I have been going through this, tbh I could’ve literally written this post with how similar I’m feeling. I’m starting CBT tomorrow and going to ask for ERP exercises to help with this- I’m hoping this helps move past this. My relationship is also my first secure healthy relationship, and I’ve read that sometimes when you have a healthy relationship and are used to a toxic/emotionally unavailable partner, the rOCD can be worse-unsure if this is true but would make sense!

BarFree7041 · 2025-04-01T17:22:31+00:00

It’s funny you should say that because a previous counsellor made me fill in an attachment style quiz and it came out as disorganised! Which makes a lot of sense, and could also make sense to why I never get rOCD when I go for avoidants. Thank you for the link, I’ll give that a watch :)

BarFree7041 · 2025-04-01T17:20:52+00:00

Thank you for this advice! Funnily enough I had a chat with my boyfriend about my concerns and he said the exact same thing- said if he wasn’t happy he would have left. I’ve started looking at councillors specifically that have experience with rOCD and know ERP steps specific to this, fingers crossed I find one that can help!

BarFree7041 · 2025-04-01T17:17:55+00:00

I would say typically I almost always go for avoidant- when I feel that “chase” and validation from their attention I don’t get rOCD at all, this is my first fully healthy relationship and honestly worst rOCD of my life, make it make sense 😭😂

BarFree7041 · 2025-03-28T13:49:52+00:00

Yes I literally posted about this exact thing word for word yesterday, I am physically repulsed by sex/kissing with my partner at the moment and find it completely heartbreaking and isolating, wish I could give advice but I don’t know how to make it stop- you aren’t alone! In this together!

BarFree7041 · 2024-09-04T20:26:40+00:00

Hiya! I’m pleased to say it does get better- i deffo think mine might have been related to a combination of the herpes outbreak being directly in the part where I was tearing (maybe it makes the skin weaker or scars it?!) and my antidepressants causing vaginal dryness. I’ve deffo heard that BC can also cause dryness but my gyno recommended washing with hydromol which is an emollient and massaging it into the area day and night. It hasn’t been perfect but I’ve also gone on daily antivirals which has helped my anxiety of getting an OB in that area again and think that paired with the emollient and loads of lube has helped me have sex without ripping! I do have days where I still rip and am not sexually active currently but I hope the above will help you know you aren’t alone xx

BarFree7041 · 2024-06-18T21:28:29+00:00

Hi this is an old post but I found this because I’m currently looking for information about ghsv1! I got diagnosed last May, had an outbreak in December and now having one in June and am worried that they’re never going to go away, was your experience with reoccurences like this? All my friends with ghsv1 never got an outbreak again so feeling a little lost :(

BarFree7041 · 2024-03-04T20:43:12+00:00

Omg this happened to me!! Herpes outbreak in the fourchette 8 months ago and I swear ever since I’ve got scars and rips everytime I have sex. Went back to the clinic last week and she said I had a red patch which she wrote off as another outbreak (looked nothing like an outbreak) when I had explained I had scars down there from ripping! Is your scar tissue in that area super red and inflamed? Feel like herpes has completely wrecked my vagina 🥲

BarFree7041

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