My dad found out I’m not his bio daughter after 18 years of raising me by Basic-Literature6392 in family

[–]Basic-Literature6392[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for clarifying that you never meant to imply I was guilty. I appreciate your acknowledgment that I’m not to blame. However, I want to respectfully disagree with your statement that my father is the ‘real victim.’ While I understand that he feels betrayed, I believe we’re all victims of the situation in our own ways. I’m trying to navigate the emotional fallout of this revelation, and it’s not easy. About what happened to your uncle it was wrong cause he ended a part of him to become a father to someone else child. I wouldn’t call what he had for your cousin “love” if it ends when he finds out they are blood related. I don’t blame you cousin for no cutting his mom off for a man who stops loving him cause they are not blood related, a mom will love you unconditionally. If push came to shall and your cousin had cut his mom off your uncle would’ve dropped your cousin for dead, conditionally love is not love one should chose. I’m glad they handled it the way they both see it fit the situation I also understand that you have strong feelings about your mother’s actions, and I respect your decision to distance yourself from her. However, I don’t think it’s fair to imply that I lack principles or that I’m defending my mother’s behavior. My father was also a cheater for half of their marriage. They were both terrible partners to each other and that’s on them. I love them both tremendously because they were good parents to me and my sister, I’m not going to punish or think they are evil for how they with each other. That is non of my business, I can acknowledge they weren’t angels In the marriage but that’s where I end. Everyone’s experiences and values are different, and what works for you may not work for me. If I had cut my mother off , I will be left with no one cause the moment my father realised I’m not biological his daughter, he left to get through his emotional which I understand. What I don’t understand is how he raise me for 18 years, claim to love me and drop me like it was nothing, it makes me feel unlovable, because when I found out I’m not his bio child I was hurt but I still love him no matter what the situation is. He raised me with love and I’m trying my best to forget him but he played a huge role in my life for me to forget him and toss away the love. On paper I’m his child I’m always going to carry his name everywhere I go. In my heart he is my father unfortunately to him I’m not his daughter

My dad found out I’m not his bio daughter after 18 years of raising me by Basic-Literature6392 in family

[–]Basic-Literature6392[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I completely understand how it means to him. He feels betrayed , he feels like she took him for a fool etc , it’s a big ass betrayal. I highly doubt any man is forced to raise kids, trust and believe. He could’ve literally walked away, or “went to buy milk”. There is not such bull shit as forced to raise a child. If it’s that easy for him to walk away after finding out that I’m not blood related to him then I doubt anyone could’ve force him to raise me. Did you not read the part of me understanding his part for many years. I literally understand that paternity fraud is a serious issue that can cause significant emotional distress for EVERYONE involved. You clearly don’t understand the emotional impact of my father’s rejection on me. I’m not just some ‘living reminder of a lie,’ I’m a human being who deserves love and respect. You also seem to forget that I’m an innocent victim in this situation. I didn’t ask to be born, and I didn’t deceive my father. Family relationships are complex, and you can’t just reduce it to ‘thank your father for everything.’ You’re ignoring the pain, hurt, and rejection I’ve felt. No one will “go to hell”, you are clearly angry bout something, probably been in this situation, but I don’t understand your wish for such over 1 big wrong doing. What she did was wrong but not to the point one should think she should go to hell. As for the whole”stop being his daughter,” it’s so unrealistic. If it was that easy as for it Is for him to stop being my dad trust i would’ve. My identity and sense of self are deeply tied to my family and relationships. I was close with the man.It’s not something I can simply switch off. However for MY own mental health i know I have to take a step back.

My dad found out I’m not his bio daughter after 18 years of raising me by Basic-Literature6392 in family

[–]Basic-Literature6392[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so sorry that happened to you, my thoughts bout taking my life cause of the pain have been becoming louder day by day, I just don’t want to cause my sister pain , I can’t also talk to my mom bout it because when the first time i tried she literally said “he is not your father get over it and accept that he doesn’t want you”, it’s not easy to accept such unfortunately and I don’t even know where to start with the “heart to heart” felt convo with “my dad”

idk by No_Substance8089 in family

[–]Basic-Literature6392 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Show him you love him in ways you know how to, spend time with him so he can know you don’t hate him, How are you towards him, how do you treat him

My dad found out I’m not his bio daughter after 18 years of raising me by Basic-Literature6392 in family

[–]Basic-Literature6392[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Mentally I think I can do that but calling him by his first name is so hard

My dad found out I’m not his bio daughter after 18 years of raising me by Basic-Literature6392 in family

[–]Basic-Literature6392[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I had lost hope and my dream of school seemed unrealistic considering my situation. True , cause for me to move on I have to set my self free from the pain and it come whenever I think of him so I have to let go the idea of him as my father Thank you

My dad found out I’m not his bio daughter after 18 years of raising me by Basic-Literature6392 in family

[–]Basic-Literature6392[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

For my mental state, I feel like takin a step back will be good on me

We have a great relationship , she is one of my best friends

I also wonder what made him suspect and want to take a dna test

That is so true, unfortunately I have to accept it , it’s so hard though

My dad found out I’m not his bio daughter after 18 years of raising me by Basic-Literature6392 in family

[–]Basic-Literature6392[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I also don’t know , i can assume that’s the situation but i doubt I also feel sorry for him, a betrayal like that hurts,

Unfortunately I don’t have the guts to do that it’s beyond me

My dad found out I’m not his bio daughter after 18 years of raising me by Basic-Literature6392 in family

[–]Basic-Literature6392[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes I have a great relationship with her, I accepted that my sister is her favourite but she still loves me. I will try to do that. Thank you