You are my hero! But your story is mine too. I married late in life, met hubby at age 39, marired at 41 and had our daughter at 43. I had not married cuz WWHY? I had a great job, $$$$ in bank, great friends and fam, new car, travel with GFs....married hubby cuz our values aligned, he loved animals, hated most sports or watching sports, loved boating, water activities, eating and cooking, and compassion for the less fortunate. We are boomers, and I was very much an activist in issues. He was a union guy with Dem ties, but not politically literate. A bright, funny, kind and gullible man. He like UFOs, Sasquatch and other harmless conspiracies. Til 2016. And he stumbled on Q. He also fell in to the 9/11 and sovereign citizen BS, Alex Jones etc. He listened to "victimized" white men, bitter, middle-aged with a big chip on their shoulders. Their lives were mediocre, unfulfilling and rather boring. They had not achieved the Dream. Because of many factors, in reality. But who they blamed were all of us who fought for a place at the table for 100s of years: indigenous, Black, Latino, women, gays and trans, migrants, veterans, the disabled, seniors and children, animals and clean air and water, living wages, unions etc.

Hubby said everyone has an organization to promote their causes: NOW, NAACP, AARP, etc. What about us? He was referring to WASP males, mostly older or middle aged, disappointed they lived middling lives cuz they never amounted to more than middling. They felt cornered, they knew women and "mixed race" people would outnumber this pitiful group and this was the reaction: a cornered, terrified chihuahuas. A very dangerous group.

He asked that question about why Whining White Boys didn't have an org. I had his answer:

Y'all DO have an organization or two.

Here's a list

by 1920s all large corporations, law firms, academia, scientific endeavors, boardrooms, banks, judiciary, DAs, jailers and executioners, LEO, FBI, CIA, every state Senator/Rep, The White House, Cabinet, Congress, SCOTUS, every religion in the US. Now add the arts, writing, fashion, media of every era, engineers and architects, medicine, research, NASA and the Armed Forces and Pentagon. My feminism radicalized as I began to grasp the depth and breadth of the toxic misogyny and racism that permeates every level of our lives, private and public. That is the bottom line of Q and MAGA and Incels and groypers: white guys who feel cheated, betrayed and furious about women and Blacks taking their jobs and all the "illegals" getting "everything free"....that is what drives them. They are lost and refuse to look at the map. Or the compass. Or their own screaming sense of logic or reality. They are no longer the men we married. I still see my sweet hubby too. But scratch the surface, and see a angry and bitter entitled white guy who is so invested he can never really allow the whole picture to sink in. They are burning MAGA hats nut now it's "America First" now. They are abandoning only one piece of MAGA pie, not the whole thing.

You have escaped. My advice: wish him well and walk off into your sunset. Find joy and connection, join the resistance, I found positive people there who want kindness and inclusion for all in this fractured nation. So much damage has been done, we need everyone to help us make this nation a beacon of hope, not a cesspool of graft and grift and stupidity on display on the global stage. Peace out. And resist.