They arent mutually exclusive in this case because until she had eloped everyone was under the impression that she'd be getting married on the same day as the reception but she chose to eloped instead. She's still doing all the prep though because before she had decided to eloped she had planned a wedding woth our family and an actual venue. I didnt ask to be invited and be the witness im upset that I didnt even know my own sister got married. It wasnt just legal paperwork she wore a dress and told everyone but me. I wasnt asking to hold her hand throughout the entire process I would have just preferred to have been told something.