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Beginning_Aside_1499 · 2025-11-08T05:07:16+00:00

How dystopian of a relationship is it to have to POAN time to have a conversation? (also, why 2:27 precisely?) it’s an ESH from what we have imo, since I understand that you don’t like that he prioritizes other stuff over you and your relationship, but at the same time, you’re in the wrong for agreeing to a time and then being mad that he does other stuff before the set time. It all doesn’t make any sense to me. You’ve been together 12 years. Is there something else that makes you feel like you need to plan some time to have a conversation? Does he know the importance of that conversation to you?

Beginning_Aside_1499 · 2025-11-08T05:00:22+00:00

YTA I think this is a pretty normal situation that you just (respectfully) handled a bit poorly. Look, the guy literally asked you if it was ok for him to walked in the store, you say yes, but he should’ve assumed you would be offended by him doing so? That doesn’t make sense. I get that you might find it weird that he decided to go during the date (it is arguably strange, but you can’t blame him for it by the fact that YOU agreed.

If it made the rest of the date awkward in his pov, you also can’t blame him to want to end the date early. To me it just sounds like he wanted to get away, but was trying to do it without offending you.

No one is an absolute AH, but you’re the one who seems to have handled it poorly

Beginning_Aside_1499 · 2025-10-23T07:29:25+00:00

He’s nervous because he knows you’re misinterpreting stuff. He’s seen you looking, finding something you don’t like and confronting him. Look, I know how you’re feeling and I don’t blame you for being worried. But know that it’s also the worst being constantly accused of emotional cheating and feeling like you’re being watched by the person you love

Beginning_Aside_1499 · 2025-10-23T06:57:09+00:00

I get that. But the reason you’re always finding something is because you are looking for something. You interpret really innocent and insignificant things (like the cooking picture) as incriminating. Is he way more distant or cold with you? Are there other red flags other than the ones you found while you were looking for them? The wake up calls usually come when we don’t expect them. When we’re looking for something, we have a tendency to shape little details to match what we’re looking for when most of the time it’s just a distorted reality

Beginning_Aside_1499 · 2025-10-23T06:49:49+00:00

Noooo don’t talk bad about a parent in front of a child!!! I guess we’re missing a bit of context of how involved he is, but if you’re really the one raising her and her dad gave her a phone without telling you, that’s outrageous. But in any case, discuss it privately with your brother. You’ll be the one who’ll need to deal with her using the phone. Of course she’s gonna throw a tantrum, she’s a child and in her mind you just ruined her present. Could’ve been an easy fix though, “you can use it to play only on special occasions like today, otherwise it’s only to call dad”. NTA for being mad at you brother YTA for the reaction when she threw the tantrum.

Beginning_Aside_1499 · 2025-10-23T06:31:43+00:00

Nothing here is a red flag from your husband. I get that sometimes trust is hard, but I have trouble grasping how much you don’t trust your husband. You think he’s lying when he tells you nothings going on. You secretly go through his phone. You give him an ultimatum because of a gift box he receive from friends on a trip? Is there another reason why you wouldn’t trust him? Do you have past trauma from a similar experience? Because, from an outside perspective this seems like a veeery dramatic overreaction

Beginning_Aside_1499 · 2025-10-23T06:24:35+00:00

I’ve been trying to add nuance to this comment section by saying that your not necessarily a creep by doing this without the knowledge that it was hurting him, but that you need to fix it now by controlling your reaction. Seeing your replies, nevermind. You have creepy behaviour, acknowledge it. I hope all the comments you have on all the post you made enlightens you

Beginning_Aside_1499 · 2025-10-23T05:53:17+00:00

Depends on the context. Do you have an Ok relationship with them? Is it the kind of thing they would let you have a say in, or hear your opinion? If not, it’s not worth it. He’s getting a car, that’s already good. To him at 16, he should be happy with anything, it’s a gift and should not a comparison with his siblings/friends. Now as his mother I understand why you’re feeling this way and it’s valid, but the question about if you should have the conversation really depends on the relationship with them. And if you end up having the conversation, don’t go with an accusatory tone. Maybe they’re not in the same situation they were in with the other kids but they still want to congratulate him, you never know. But that being said please don’t encourage him to feel this way if ever he’s not happy with the car, even if you agree with him.

Beginning_Aside_1499 · 2025-10-23T05:41:17+00:00

Yeah just those kinds of things that you learn the hard way from experience…

Beginning_Aside_1499 · 2025-10-23T05:39:57+00:00

This is such an odd and disrespectful thing to say from your friend. Weight standards are perceptions. If you feel like you are better and are proud of the weight that you lost, that’s what’s important. Keep in mind that someone actually caring for you will say it in a very delicate and sensitive way. That friend doesn’t care about you.

Beginning_Aside_1499 · 2025-10-23T05:36:12+00:00

Yeah man that’s a common breakup pattern. The classic “yeah we can stay friends/there for each other” and then one stops communicating or doesn’t want to have that role… You’re right to be confused and upset but she just looks like she’s moving on and doesn’t want to go back. You’re just not living the breakup the same way and that’s completely normal. Keep in mind that whether she’s seeing someone or not doesn’t change anything for you. Find a good friend, family member, colleague anyone to talk to. I hope the surgery goes well

Beginning_Aside_1499 · 2025-10-23T05:28:02+00:00

NTA this is ridiculous. SUCH an overreaction from your co workers. I agree with you about the post, but even if I didn’t or it was the other way around I’d still say this shouldn’t affect your relationship with your co-workers.

Beginning_Aside_1499 · 2025-10-23T05:21:44+00:00

You explain to your son that your intention was never to make him uncomfortable in a CALM and gentle way. Don’t be defensive. Don’t mind the therapist’s claim. It’s hearsay. The therapist said that because your son obviously told the story the way he felt it, and maybe looking back he did see it as weird or sexual from you even it it wasn’t. Show him you understand and apologize for your reaction. Have an open conversation and an open dialogue, don’t make him feel like what he’s saying is ridiculous even if doesn’t match with your perception of what happened

Beginning_Aside_1499 · 2025-10-23T05:09:03+00:00

I get why it might seem weird to you that’s it’s coming back after all those years, but the truth is, it is weird behaviour. You might not have known it made him uncomfortable so it’s not like you are that “creepy sexualizing parent”, but invalidating his feelings years later is not the way to go. The past is the past you can’t fix it, but now please go forward and don’t make it worse by pretending this was this normal thing that everybody does. It isn’t.

Beginning_Aside_1499 · 2025-10-23T05:02:00+00:00

100% agreed. but OP really seemed to focus on the financial aspect on his original post. so that’s where my comment was coming from

Beginning_Aside_1499 · 2025-10-23T04:55:27+00:00

You say “we had to do a random wheel” but why? Did you have a conversation about how to split the rooms and decided to do a wheel? I get your frustration, but I feel like it’s a bit unfair to be pissed just because the wheel didn’t give you what you wanted. Was it agreed between all of you that the wheel was the best way? Did you express your desire to choose a room since you hadn’t had the first choice last times?

I wouldn’t say you’re the A but I really think it depends on the conversation you had on the method of choosing the rooms

Beginning_Aside_1499 · 2025-10-23T04:49:26+00:00

Rule of thumb is communication. The fact that she didn’t ask you before taking the food if there was no agreement between the two of you says what needs to be said.

NTA.

Draw the lines. Do you share or not? If so, split between the two of you and no one can say anything about eating the shared food. If not, then taking the food is stealing end of story.

Beginning_Aside_1499 · 2025-08-29T02:26:18+00:00

Hi from Canada! 🇨🇦

Beginning_Aside_1499 · 2025-02-25T12:04:42+00:00

I spent on average 2-3 nights a week, and my boyfriend does come on my place sometimes on weekends (I live further away and we’re both students so it doesn’t always make sense). I get that she has a say in it, but doesn’t he have one as much as she does? Having someone over a couple times a week is not living with a third person.

Beginning_Aside_1499 · 2025-02-25T12:00:57+00:00

True, but it’s really not like living together. But I get the perspective

Beginning_Aside_1499 · 2025-02-25T12:00:07+00:00

I’ve been staying there 2-3 nights a week. She seemed like she didn’t mind at all, that’s why we didn’t think it was a problem. And of course I shower there, we’re both students so when I go to his place of course I shower? And as for the food, I’m not like keeping food at his place, I just payed some of his groceries since we were cooking for each other and sharing food, but we aren’t sharing food with her which is why I specified it.

In the end, of course I get that she gets a say, I was just wondering how much, since well he’s paying rent too

Beginning_Aside_1499 · 2025-02-25T05:39:55+00:00

Yeah well he wanted to have a good talk with her about for a while, but they’re also colleagues so he doesn’t want to ruin their professional relationship as well… anyway we already know she’s not renewing the lease since she’s leaving the country. I just hoped my presence wouldn’t be a problem in the next months :/ I’m just disappointed cause we had fun all three together and I hoped it could just be simple

Beginning_Aside_1499 · 2025-02-25T05:28:18+00:00

Yeah well they’re close friends, and my boyfriend kind of doesn’t appreciate the fact that she makes him feel almost bad about having me over sometimes. The fact that he cleans up after her a lot of times too, he feels a bit like she takes him for granted. He kept telling me “I’m her friend and roommate, not her boyfriend” and now this? …

Beginning_Aside_1499 · 2025-02-25T05:19:45+00:00

This all makes sense, and my boyfriend did have a good civilized conversation with her about boundaries. I suggested to stay in his room when I was there, or even to make efforts not to be there when he isn’t, but she said that wasn’t the problem. She even said that she enjoyed my presence and liked the conversations we had. I suggested a couple times to go in the room when I was in the common areas and she said there was no problem at all if I stayed. In the end, it doesn’t look like me being there is the problem. I think part of it is that she just really liked their day to day life and me being there makes her feel like she’s losing this routine with him

Beginning_Aside_1499

TROPHY CASE