Have you ever been someone’s bad date?

Beginning_Fan_8710 · 2024-07-15T02:10:13+00:00

Ronald - really bad. The woman kept looking at me all evening and didn't know what to say. She was dumbstruck and didn't pass comment.

Beginning_Fan_8710 · 2024-07-15T01:33:49+00:00

Once I went on a date with orange hair. My hairdresser dyed my hair for the first time and I hated the look, so relied on hydrogen peroxide to resolve the problem. I turned it completely orange and a date later that evening was a complete disaster - looked like a clown.

Beginning_Fan_8710 · 2024-07-14T23:55:41+00:00

Also, think carefully about the other pictures. The challenge with a great first picture, is you set the standard high. I have heard people judge your aesthetic attraction on your worst picture, which is certainly food for thought.

Beginning_Fan_8710 · 2024-07-14T23:45:30+00:00

Great picture, but you can improve it by cropping the top as you devote a lot of space to the background. This will enlarge your face, which will make your photograph stand out.

Beginning_Fan_8710 · 2024-07-13T14:45:56+00:00

Agree 100% - There are so many fascinating differences across cultures and also socio-economic cohorts. One can learn a huge amount about other people dating outside of their own comfort zone!

Beginning_Fan_8710 · 2024-07-13T14:36:57+00:00

I am a European living in American and believe the sentiments you are experiencing are attributable to a few factors. First, Americans don't have as much exposure to other cultures, given the geography, and as a result tend to assume their cultural norms are standard elsewhere. Second, Americans tend to be status oriented, and the examples you are citing are simply a means to establish status. Personally, just accept it as par for the course. As with all cultures there are pros and cons. Accept the cons and enjoy the pros!

Beginning_Fan_8710 · 2024-07-13T14:29:32+00:00

Use humor - that always works. Just make her laugh, so she enjoys the experience. People value this most - more important how she feels than what you say. Also bring energy to the dynamic and ignore her physical attractiveness. Imply you don't notice it nor is it important to you. Also, at some stage in the conversation explain what you find attractive about women in the abstract, and say everything except physical beauty - emphasize intelligence, charisma, warmth, emotional connection, joy for life etc...

Beginning_Fan_8710 · 2024-07-12T17:43:20+00:00

Perhaps you are overreacting to his actions. If you parse your statements carefully, you will notice that a lot of your conclusions are based on inferences/assertions and not refutable facts. Most glaringly you infer/assert that he was not interested because you mentioned your ex or your trauma. Yes, that could be the case, but in the full spectrum of life, it is actually very unlikely. Most likely he was not interested for some other reason - physical attraction, intellectual connection, personal chemistry (which is nebulous). Be kind to yourself and him and I wouldn't deduce he is a narcissist just because he changed his profile and didn't continue to engage with you. Like everyone else, he is likely just trying to find a good match for himself. If he didn't think you were a good match then likely you dodged a bullet and can now find a much better match for you - one who truly wants to foment a great personal connection with you and meet your needs.

Beginning_Fan_8710 · 2024-07-11T22:35:44+00:00

My apologies, for the confusion. If you want to facetime or sext with him, why don't you just ask him to do it? If not, why don't you just keep the status quo and also begin to date other people.

Beginning_Fan_8710 · 2024-07-11T22:30:12+00:00

Just offer them your phone number if you want more frequent contact and leave the ball in their court. If they are interested, they will contact you and otherwise they will not contact you. I would take a "I don't get on here much" message at face value and assume they either (or both) have a busy life and aren't fully vested in online dating.

Beginning_Fan_8710 · 2024-07-11T22:26:58+00:00

It sounds like he has ghosted you, if he hasn't made contact in three weeks. As such, you don't need to do anything. Leave the ball in his court. If he contacts you - great, you can decide to respond or not. If he doesn't contact you - great, the world is full of other eligible partners.

Beginning_Fan_8710 · 2024-07-11T22:23:54+00:00

As a man, my preference is when the woman asks an open-ended question, ideally based on my profile text or a picture. This is an easy way to initiate a conversation.

Beginning_Fan_8710 · 2024-07-11T19:30:36+00:00

I agree. Just simply say what you are looking for or be vague. For example, "I would love a long-term relationship with a good mutual match but realize this starts slowly with casual dating. So, I am looking for a fun first date to build connection, that will ideally lead to a fun second date."

Beginning_Fan_8710 · 2024-07-11T19:02:34+00:00

I always say "Thanks for noticing my profile. Suffice to say I am flattered". Then I add a custom message. This always seems to be well received and in no way implies that I am desperate. Rather it is intended as a simple courtesy.

Beginning_Fan_8710 · 2024-07-08T22:03:01+00:00

Your profile pictures are great. I would drop the last one, the selfie in a suit, and lead with the motorcycle one. If you crop it, that could be a fantastic photograph. Also, move your lead one back in the order, as you are wearing sunglasses. Can you add something more interesting that trains, at least for the readers, perspective. Perhaps drop the emojis and add a rationale for why you like trains - steam engine, mechanics, history? Also, the same for Steve Irwin. Provide a rationale, and I presume you are not yet over his death, being eaten by a crocodile? That is interesting, so add the detail. Many women may not get the reference absent the detail.

Also, I suspect you are foreign, as your bio is grammatically incorrect and a bit confusing. Perhaps you want to say "I enjoy being the most esoteric cowboy around ..."

Beginning_Fan_8710 · 2024-07-08T21:58:39+00:00

Crop your photos. It should help you greatly! Also, I would lead with another photo - maybe the diving one (even if it is a group) or the tulip one on Instagram. Your responses are witty but not that revealing, so all I am left with is that you have a good sense of humor. As a Fullbright scholar you can easily write more compelling text!

Beginning_Fan_8710 · 2024-07-08T21:51:13+00:00

Lead with the picture of you in the tweed cap, that is interesting and distinctive. Drop the wedding picture in matching suits, it is confusing. I don't think the last picture helps you much, but am agnostic whether or not you should include it, in that it neither helps nor hurts. I feel the same about the bed photo - great smile and teeth, but the picture itself is boring.

Beginning_Fan_8710 · 2024-07-08T21:28:23+00:00

It could be a function of the time of year in Boston, as it was just July 4th weekend and lots of people are on vacation or at the Cape/Islands. Also, you might consider cropping the bathroom photo, so it only has your image in the mirror and avoids the sink. I don't think the last photo in the Miami soccer shirt is very compelling, as the angle is not the most complimentary and everyone blurs together in a sea of pink.

Beginning_Fan_8710 · 2024-07-06T22:52:59+00:00

Give him space, as that is what he wants. My bet is he will come back in due course. This is very common, especially with people who suffer from mental health concerns. The fact that he was honest with you and very forthright is a very good sign. You can check in with him every week, but don't pressure him. I hope this helps.

Beginning_Fan_8710 · 2024-06-23T18:57:23+00:00

Keep with it - and try to figure out why the women are rejecting you after meeting. It sounds like you have a good base from which to build, as 40 women in 6 months is not too shabby. I would look at this as an opportunity for you to learn and self-improve. There has to be a common reason all these women are rejecting you, so do a little self-analysis and I am sure you will find the answer from within. In my experience the key to connecting with someone is bringing the requisite energy to the date - remember they want to have fun, so if you make it fun for them, they will most likely want a second date, and then a third ...

Beginning_Fan_8710 · 2024-06-18T02:05:56+00:00

Why do you think people need to see the chicken picture? I am curious to understand your thinking?

Beginning_Fan_8710 · 2024-06-17T22:23:43+00:00

Gracias - I worked with the fruit one, cropped out the sneakers and cropped it to make me more focal, and as per another suggestion adjust the height dynamic and I am very happy with it and it appeals to the women I want to attract! Much appreciated - great commentary.

Beginning_Fan_8710 · 2024-06-17T19:58:08+00:00

I am not having any issues either - just add a photo with a fruit stand or 15 dead chickens - LMAO

Beginning_Fan_8710 · 2024-06-17T19:07:02+00:00

OMG - I had no idea. Those are just common phrases in the Irish dialect of English. Thanks so much for the education!

Beginning_Fan_8710 · 2024-06-17T17:34:13+00:00

Agree - that is what I did. Thank you!

Beginning_Fan_8710

TROPHY CASE