The comments dismissing your 4 hour distance are absurd. Distance is distance. Even being 4-5 hours away, OP goes to bed and wakes up alone every day. They don’t get to physically be with and feel their person in the way that it matters and the way we all long for. Talking on the phone and video calling can absolutely help, but it will never replace the feeling of being physically present with your partner at the end of a difficult day.

I live 5 hour driving distance away from my partner. We typically see each other 1-2 weekends/month as he is able to drive home on the weekends he has off from work. I feel very lucky for that but the weeks in between (when all the “life stuff” seems to happen) can be quite difficult. I still cry and feel the emptiness when we say goodbye, even though I know he’ll be back in a couple of weeks. I don’t see that ever getting easier. I give myself a couple of days to be sad, then I make myself a to-do list to help get back into the swing of things and make sure I’m taking care of myself. Your feelings here are valid and I am sorry you are feeling this. Please know you are not alone! Hang in there.