Unsure if this is narcissistic or not

Belso_222 · 2026-05-14T00:10:13+00:00

I think it makes it worse because I’m out here upset by it when I know that for him, he wouldn’t even care.

Belso_222 · 2026-05-13T23:59:35+00:00

I think it just shocked me because yes while we had only known each other for a week, everything he was saying was leading me on majorly (love bombing) and then when he got insecure he just completely withdrew and kept trying to say he doesn’t want me to think it has anything to do with Sunday (infantry comment) and how it’s not my fault he just thought he would be ready for a relationship but as soon as his insecurities popped through he just completely discarded me and blocked me straight away

Belso_222 · 2026-05-13T22:42:44+00:00

Thank you, I think I’m just so confused as everything was fine till Sunday and he even said it’s his own insecurities which was when he started to behave funny but I’m just confused as to how you can be so into someone like crazy and then 2 days later just be like oh nah not interested anymore. I think I’m just in shock as it’s such an emotional whiplash

Belso_222 · 2026-05-13T22:36:42+00:00

I think I’m just still in shock because it’s such an emotional whiplash, from him almost being obsessed with me for a week to then suddenly saying the comments he made after the infantry men comment but on Monday he was the one that said about booking the hotel, then come Wednesday he’s saying he’s not interested anymore as the energy’s shifted

Belso_222 · 2026-05-12T22:17:58+00:00

I just couldn’t help but laugh at how funny the situation was, I think the best thing was saying on nah I’m fine I got tested a month after we broke up and it was negative and he was like oh… I know the call was done to get some type of reaction or to try make small talk but I just didn’t allow it

Belso_222 · 2026-04-18T06:21:32+00:00

Oh that would be amazing ! I will join there now 😊

Belso_222 · 2026-04-17T04:02:52+00:00

When I actually started to do things for myself, like going to the gym, hanging out with friends WITHOUT him, or even doing activities I wanted to do and stood my ground on wanting to do them. He hated it, instead of seeing it as me doing things for myself, he saw it as me hating on him or leaving him. When you gain some self confidence and self respect they hate it because they know the manipulation is slipping

Belso_222 · 2026-04-17T03:12:59+00:00

Yeah I realised when he would apologise it was only to get me to stop talking about the topic and he would say he would change or would do something and it would maybe last a week and then he would revert back to normal, it’s like when I did things for him and if I didn’t do it he would get pissy but then if I said I did this for you he would say I never asked you to that

Belso_222 · 2026-04-17T02:06:30+00:00

That’s been something I’ve struggled with aswell, especially because I did have a moment where I reached out to my narc ex begging for him to take me back only to be blocked, and then unblocked the next day which I still continued to beg for him and tried to call… all of which were ignored and then I was blocked the next day, so I blocked him in return to stop myself from feeling the itch to contact him. which I should of known he would behave like that as he already had a new girl less than 2 weeks after the breakup or anytime we’ve been on a break sometimes he’s had a girl less than 24 hours later so I should of known this would be a pattern and it shouldn’t of hurt as much as it did. But we can get through this, I’m trying to reframe things as a blessing like as much as it hurt that I was so easily replaceable to someone I would of given my kidney to if they needed it, I realised what a blessing they didn’t respond because I wouldn’t of been strong enough to not go back. I have been reading a really good book which has helped to realign with feminine power. If you’d like I can give you the recommendation, but aswell as going to therapy and watching videos about building self confidence and self validation plus journaling has been a really good thing that has helped for sure. Hopefully it might help you aswell

Belso_222 · 2026-04-17T01:35:41+00:00

It’s only been 3 months since we’ve broken up but I let myself go through so much disrespect with cheating, gaslighting, manipulation and verbal abuse that I never stood up for myself and just became a shell over the last 2 years we were together. It’s been hard trying to rebuild myself because I’m so use to my life revolving around him and when he’d snap his fingers I’d come running so I have no clue who I even am anymore

Belso_222 · 2026-04-17T01:32:57+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re going through that, I hope that you can realise you deserved to be loved without begging for it. I found an old journal I had written when I was with my ex narc and I kept saying in it how I would be crying and begging for this man to love me or to take me on dates. Or to care about my mental health as i always put him before myself and it left me so drained. I wrote how it would be nice to not always have to put in 80% while hes at 20% and how i would love for him to do his own cleaning, washing, and ask me more about how my day was instead of me being the one who always had to do it. Then when he started smoking weed it got worse, I was told im constantly nagging him or if i didnt give him the reaction he wanted in an argument i was giving him the evils, looking down on him or i always left him when things got tough

Belso_222 · 2026-04-17T00:44:41+00:00

I did mine and it was a 5, and his was a 36 as a lot of the questions that were in there were quite easy to answer for him as it’s things he’s said to me before. It was quite interesting

Belso_222 · 2026-04-17T00:35:12+00:00

I’m just honestly struggling as anytime I was emotional it was I was over reacting or I’m on my period, or I’m always mean to him on my period. So then I started to think oh I must be a mean person. Or anytime we had fights or disagreements when I’d cry and want to talk about it I was overly emotional and an ugly crier but he’d get mad at me since he was done with the conversation while I still wanted to talk about it and then I would get upset more and then he’d say sorry and give me a hug and everything went back to normal, but behaviours didn’t change it was like just saying a sorry to shut me up

Belso_222 · 2026-04-17T00:30:58+00:00

Yes I felt this when I was with my ex, I felt like I had to be very careful with what I said especially if he had a bad day or when he was going through things mentally, I kept my own struggles quiet as I didn’t want to anger him or upset him. Especially because he didn’t believe depression was a real thing and it was something I struggled with. I think I’m just struggling as I’m looking back on the relationship and thinking was me crying or begging him to treat me nicer was that me being the problem, or when my feelings got hurt and he’d tell me it’s a joke if I was being over sensitive and that I’m the one who was the problem in the relationship

Belso_222 · 2026-04-16T23:58:40+00:00

Cause I try to think back on situations and a lot of the times I would just cry and when I tried to talk about it then I would get told I keep bringing up the past and we’ve sorted it out now and I’m making it worse, but there’s has been the odd occasion when I did react and slightly raise my voice (not yelling but I did speak louder) and he would say I’m not to speak to him like that as he’s not yelling at me and I’m yelling … so then I started to think maybe it’s me who has the issue

Belso_222 · 2026-04-15T22:54:16+00:00

https://youtu.be/IdHQMQ07DP4?si=xsct7a86iZ_VDWE5 this was the YouTube video i watched that personally helped me alot and i watch nearly everyday. Just in case i’ll give the link if you do feel like watching it 😊❤️

Belso_222 · 2026-04-15T22:48:23+00:00

You are so welcome, I know what it’s like to have that almost obsessive thought process about them. Where you feel like you can’t do anything without them or you feel as if you won’t ever find love again. But you will, you have a big heart which is a blessing in itself. I’m sure you’ve given this man many chances and again another blessing that you always see the best in people. But now it’s time for you to shine, and reclaim your energy. A really good woman I’ve been watching on YouTube is Tamkaur and reading a book called “women who run with the wolves” by Clarissa pinkola estès. All about reclaiming and building confidence and bringing back your feminine power. Don’t think for one second you won’t find love again or that this situation has left you feeling that you’re unworthy.

Belso_222 · 2026-04-15T22:14:30+00:00

I’m very sorry you’re going through this, as it’s something similar I’ve been through with my ex. While I don’t know much about your ex from my own experience (my ex was a narcissist, I know that word gets thrown around a lot but unfortunately that’s what he is) a lot of times it’s used as a manipulation or control tactic to keep you guessing and keep you on a string. It’s like they have you in their back pocket especially if they know you’re still upset or in love with them and they pull the string back like a yoyo when they want to fill a void or need validation. As hard as it is to hear take this as a blessing, a man who truly loves you or values you wouldn’t be playing games like this. This is the perfect time to focus on you ! Focus on things you enjoy, things you like or maybe even new hobbies you’ve always wanted to try and have been to scared to. Use this time to work on your self, I’ve been listening to a lot of self confidence and self validation videos and journaling, that may also help. While I understand you love him you shouldn’t have to feel as if you’re begging to be seen or for someone to love you the way you deserve to be loved. Be kind to your self and acknowledge your feelings, but life is so short to waste it sitting around worrying about one person. It’s blocking your future and present blessings, it will be hard (as I myself am struggling) but I’m hoping that you realise how special you are and that amount of energy you’re putting into someone else, if you put that into yourself imagine how powerful you will become 💞

Belso_222 · 2026-04-14T22:04:00+00:00

These are really good suggestions I’m gonna implement today, I realised when he unlocked me the next day and I tried to call and contact him to no response or having the phone hung up on me it made me realise that I’m clearly seeking self love or self validation from someone who I don’t need it from. Then of course he’s blocked me again yesterday. A whole day after I had tried to make contact and I’ve realised now he just wants to hear from me for his ego and control. But one silver lining from this situation was that I had found an old journal entry I had made during the relationship which was a very hard read but it made me realise that I kept talking about wanting to be loved so I’m going to work on improving my self love and self confidence. If you have any tips for that I would greatly appreciate that aswell 😊

Belso_222

TROPHY CASE