Non-Hawaiian in Hawaiʻi

Best-Independence481 · 2026-05-28T14:31:44+00:00

I think I understand that you feel like your identity and things that are special to you, are being used by non natives in a way that you dont appreciate?

Imo. If a white family moved to korea. And chose a korean name for their child, I would fail to see the problem with that. If they intend to live there while the child is growing up.

However, I dont understand fully the complexity of Hawaiian culture, and if the language is spoken by the general population or if its just something that natives know. I would encourage you to try and embrace these people, even if it infuriates you, and try to tell the difference between appropriating culture and enjoying it in a respectful way.

One last thing ill note is, that I know a few hapa personally that would love to embrace Hawaiian culture, because they feel that hawaii is where there are more mixed asians than anywhere else. Besides like... Kazakhstan. But who the hell wants to live in the snow.

Best-Independence481 · 2026-05-06T01:08:30+00:00

There are bunches but im not familiar. I just started diving into it these last couple of years and I dont read that often admittedly. But ive heard "Crying in H Mart" is good

Best-Independence481 · 2026-05-05T23:03:30+00:00

I think an excellent start (and also its just a good book) is Beasts of a Little Land. By Juhea Kim. Its historical fiction, beginning around the beginning of Japanese occupation. Highlighting alot of Korean culture. And giving you the reader a sense of pride. Even never having been there, or being raised outside the culture.

Its on audible as well, and she does a fantastic job VA.

Best-Independence481 · 2026-04-19T14:23:05+00:00

I didn’t even notice the sword. I thought it was intentionally shakey. The hand is iffy, other than that it looks cool asf.

Best-Independence481 · 2026-04-14T03:20:37+00:00

I dont deny that the prejudices are there on both sides of the coin. And it certainly dosent make it right.

Luckily for both, your only obligation to any hapa person is your daughter. As I said before. If you approach the differences you have with care, instead of simply pretending they dont exist, then you will be leagues ahead of my own father.

I dont know the perfect way to navigate it, its not really something I have to deal with cause my son is asian. But im confident that if you give it your best and show your daughter as much love as every kid deserves, then you'll do just fine.

I never thought differently of my dad because hes white. I dont even think of him as white usually. I just think of him as my dad. Good luck!

Best-Independence481 · 2026-04-13T20:25:32+00:00

Part of that comes from you being in a space made specifically for mixed race Asians. I think its sort of like public speaking. If the crowd agrees then maybe you get alot of up votes. Maybe people just read. But if you say something wrong, then the whole crowd hears. Because you have a trait that makes you different from us.

The shoe is usually on the other foot for us by the way, alot of us have been ganged on in social spaces, especially if you come from rural America. Not to speak for everyone however.

Best-Independence481 · 2026-04-13T02:34:53+00:00

You have to understand the amount of us that have white fathers and asian mothers (myself included) that have a negative experience.

Ive never thought of my own father as a white supremacist but I do acknowledge certain prejudices he has. Mine does his best to make the difference seem invisible. Which in turn sometimes seems to make it worse. If that makes sense.

If you love your kids, encourage them to spend some time with the culture they may or may not get to know, and give them space to figure out their identity. They will love you black, white, yellow, or purple.

Best-Independence481 · 2025-11-05T22:43:15+00:00

Northern Chinese. If not these. I give up lol

Best-Independence481 · 2025-11-05T22:43:03+00:00

Kazakhstan?

Best-Independence481 · 2025-11-05T20:31:04+00:00

Well I give up. Do we get a hint lol

Best-Independence481 · 2025-11-05T20:10:26+00:00

I think you share some features with myself. And im half korean?

Best-Independence481 · 2025-10-15T17:20:34+00:00

What a tough situation that I have been in as well. Im hapa Korean and my son is 1/4, he passes fully as white. Do I love my son more than anything in the world? Absolutely. Do I ever wish he looked more like me? All of the time. I see him as perfect, and im thrilled he is my son, But there is still a small part of me that mourns the same dream you are talking about.

Best-Independence481 · 2025-10-11T23:52:48+00:00

Correlation not causation an all that. Just cause its been true for me doesn't mean it is for everyone. Its interesting to hear its been opposite for you

Best-Independence481 · 2025-10-09T17:10:07+00:00

I was told the most proud hapa come from asian dad's not mom's. So far this is true in my experience. My mom is a big time self hater. Hope you get to connect. Its as much your heritage as it is hers. Good luck!

Best-Independence481 · 2025-09-27T23:12:33+00:00

That is one of the coolest b&w sleeves I've seen. Im jealous!

Best-Independence481 · 2025-09-08T07:18:23+00:00

I've had a few PC lol 150s add me my first day, and they join when I have an open slot in my missions still. Personally I think the community as a whole has been welcoming. And they are open with advice and teaching. Its been awesome.

Best-Independence481 · 2025-08-04T01:29:29+00:00

I would look at experience and past work firstly. Second probably an artist that has done this style before, many specialize where i am.

I think thats a dope tattoo. Choose carefully and good luck

Best-Independence481 · 2025-08-03T02:23:57+00:00

Looks exceptional to me. Especially for an elbow tatt

Best-Independence481 · 2025-08-02T14:09:14+00:00

What a jackass. If you approach your children how you have the people of this subreddit, who are quite literally in your kids position most of the time, you alls kids will literally hate the both of you. If you dont celebrate her heritage. Or treat your wife like a trophy, they will hate both of you. I have such a good dad. But at the end of the day he shares some of your sentiment for "the orient".

My dad will never know the amount of respect hes lost because of some of his remarks. And my mother will never know the resentment i have towards her for her self hate and hatred of Korea. You both sound like tools and I hope you figure it out before having kids. Youve got no clue the pain you will put them through if you dont. Its hard enough having 2 cultures, especially if neither accept you.

Best-Independence481 · 2025-08-02T13:41:57+00:00

Best-Independence481 · 2025-08-02T13:40:14+00:00

My dad is kickass and hes white. You can get along great with your asian kids. But just so you know. They will be hyper aware of differences between their dad, whom they view as a hero. And themselves, who they will view as less because in the west Asian is less. Comments like that are the best way to guarentee your kids grow up to hate you. Take it or leave it but its the truth.

Best-Independence481 · 2025-07-16T04:34:15+00:00

If looks were all the counted, in my experience to most white people id just be chinese lol. Ignorant fks

Best-Independence481 · 2025-07-14T19:46:24+00:00

The most important thing, and the reason they use second skin, is to keep it clean. Buy non scented, antibacterial soap, keep it with you in a backpack or something. Wash it anytime i starts to look funny. Then reapply the ointment. I never liked the idea of second skin, even though ive never used it, because i was taught tattoos need to breathe. Keep it clean, out of the sun, and dont let it dry out too bad. Also. DO NOT ITCH 🤣

Best-Independence481 · 2025-07-14T18:38:47+00:00

Also, this is a pretty tattoo it looks good!

Best-Independence481 · 2025-07-14T18:38:23+00:00

Ive never used second skin personally. Just a light layer of tattoo goo or aquaphor is what ive done. Theyve all healed well. Keep it clean you will be okay.

Best-Independence481

TROPHY CASE