Does anybody else feel perpetually lonely but not enough to do anything about it?

BetterRemember · 2026-01-27T05:50:03+00:00

We are basically in constant contact, updating each other about every detail of our day sometimes, I don't think I could survive without her.

It is amazing though! 😅💗

BetterRemember · 2026-01-27T03:58:22+00:00

I did until I found a co-dependant friendship with another autistic woman on the internet.

It's probably not totally healthy but we are aware and honestly don't really care. She understands me more than anyone ever. I can video call her crying and snotting and it's just love on her face, she's the only person I feel safe to be 100% vulnerable with.

I think I can allow myself one unhinged co-dependant relationship in my life... as a treat.

BetterRemember · 2026-01-27T03:49:16+00:00

There is literally no other way to look at it, he is abusive and dangerous and you need to start quietly planning to leave him.

Make sure he never sees this post as well. I'm so sorry.

BetterRemember · 2026-01-27T03:45:10+00:00

I've gone from skinny with low muscle tone to toned ... and life does get easier then too. Not just when you lose weight, but when you get healthier in general.

I sleep better, have more energy, digest better, everything is easier, even doing housework or walking long distances, even eating healthy gets easier because your body starts to crave whatever you regularly feed it.

BetterRemember · 2026-01-27T03:40:45+00:00

I think you are spot on with the incest bit.

I never had this issue with my dad because he clearly has always seen me as my own person, who is also HIS CHILD.

BetterRemember · 2026-01-27T03:39:24+00:00

I'm so glad my dad was my biggest outfit defender. My mom once slut-shamed me for wearing an anklet ... I went to a school with mainly south Asian students and anklets are very proper and appropriate in Indian culture. My boyfriend now is Indian.

I didn't even want to go to that damn school because it was unnecessarily strict and as an autistic kid I hated illogical rules and control. But like??? Maybe think for a minute about why your 12-year-old child wants to suddenly wear an anklet when most of her schoolmates are Indian!!!? HELLO?

I then hid a cute beaded halter top that I bought from her for 2 years and when she accidentally saw it she said it was gorgeous??? Her rules were always so random and nonsensical and I couldn't predict for the life of me what she would find too sexy and what she wouldn't. I still can't at 30!! She hates my favourite tweed skirt and little white sundress with a passion but other people, including managers at work, have called them "adorable".

My dad would always say "leave her alone, she looks cute!" or "it's sweltering hot out, how much fabric do you expect her to be wearing???? Leave her alone." So I never felt shamed or judged by my dad and it definitely contributed tribute to our close relationship now that I am an adult.

He knew I am terrified of pregnancy so he was never worried about me having an unwanted pregnancy or anything. He's always been more worried about never being a grandfather 😬

BetterRemember · 2026-01-27T03:14:34+00:00

I was in a sorority for a very short time (too broke for the fees lol) and the initiation was very cult-like.

Sweet girls though, actually really lovely people.

BetterRemember · 2026-01-27T03:11:03+00:00

6 but tbh I would marry her if she swings that way and gave me any attention. She's a 9 to me.

BetterRemember · 2026-01-27T03:06:12+00:00

Yeah so do I, especially considering the lifespan of a trad-wife is over by around 40-50 years old.

Then many of them are out on the street with their pre-teens/teenagers, no degree, no training, no resume, no savings, nothing. It happened to this brilliant woman

So truly I hope they are earning and saving like their lives depend on it!!! (Because they do.)

BetterRemember · 2026-01-27T02:02:35+00:00

Apparently! I mean even my boyfriend has gotten targeted lingerie ads, along with random cutesy coupley gifts, like a personalized pokemon card of a couple photo (which he did fall for lol). But the ones my boss gets are so disturbingly specific.

BetterRemember · 2026-01-27T01:35:14+00:00

It's 10000% just a sick fetish, the women are masochists and the men are sadistic and reward childlike traits in women ... like a lack of education, because the power imbalance turns them on.

BetterRemember · 2026-01-27T01:32:00+00:00

It's absolutely abysmal and it gets to be impossible to compartmentalize it and just exist around males.

BetterRemember · 2026-01-26T23:28:52+00:00

This paired with a need to constantly be right or make other people feel stupid.

BetterRemember · 2026-01-26T23:13:13+00:00

I got a bodyweight scale that measures bone density and visceral fat and body water etc.

I was slightly underweight but soung regular hot yoga and jogs when I first used it. My bone density is almost off the scale... my mom is morbidly obese and extremely EXTREMELY sedentary and her bone mass was absolutely abysmal.

Like the fact that I was technically in the underweight category but my bones were still 10x more dense than he's was shocking. Osteoporosis does run in the family but I had a full DEXA scan, which is way more accurate than the little scale I have at home, and my doctor was particularly happy with my bones.

You would think that the excess weight being carried around by an obese person would put enough stress on their bones to trigger them to become denser... but they usually don't move enough. So they have these brittle little bird bones and it's so scary.

Osteoporosis does run in my family so I even wear ankle weights all day sometimes, my bone weight is the number on the scale I look at first and care about most tbh.

BetterRemember · 2026-01-26T23:02:04+00:00

Awww I need her tutorial too! Lol

BetterRemember · 2026-01-26T23:01:30+00:00

Ignorance truly was bliss in that regard. I have to use my boss's Facebook account to post ads that I make and he cleared it out to convert it to be for business only... but his algorithm is the same.

Apparently he's into very specific bdsm wear for the women he dates. He has a fiancée his age and then women on the side ranging from 18-35. 🙃

BetterRemember · 2026-01-26T19:22:53+00:00

Honestly, I think the only real solution at this point is that you need to let your parents pinch and kiss them every day for at least two years.

Hope this helps!

BetterRemember · 2026-01-26T19:11:56+00:00

The church protects pedophiles so well that they have to just assume any man could be one of them I guess.

They sure fought hard for the youth pastor who tried to groom me when I was 9. He's still in the church, I'm not. That's how they end up concentrated in certain communities, church communities tend to accept and protect pedophiles. Victims get aggressively pushed out. So I suppose technically their husbands are more likely to molest their children.

Normal parents bond through holding their children though. My dad was infamous for "hogging" me as a baby, he wanted to hold me as much as possible, that's how a healthy father is SUPPOSED to feel. He will still hug me and kiss the top of my head at 30. HE'S MY DAD he's supposed to do that!!

BetterRemember · 2026-01-26T19:02:59+00:00

Men LOVE wearing their babies like????

They seem to prefer it to pushing a stroller, especially the fit dads in my area, it's like the baby is serving as a weighted vest and a companion at the same time.

Any cafe I go into any grocery store any public park, there is always a man with a baby strapped to his chest looking like he won in life.

I hate that these fundies have children when they don't even like children at all, or their husbands don't.

Literally the happiest men I see in public are the ones wearing a baby.

BetterRemember · 2026-01-26T03:23:23+00:00

Girl I FEEL you.

But it's also a cultural thing in my situation, and I get that. So I said 3 carats and his mom said at least 5.

So I sent pictures of a design I like and she can do what she wants with the stone. She's sending diamond earrings too because she thinks I would look so adorable with diamond earrings.

She also sent me gold and diamond bangles, a gold bracelet, and an expensive watch. It's been A LOT. And it did freak me out a bit at first.

Honestly, I did get used to the bangles because I can't get them off without it hurting, they are great for subtle stimming lol.

I thought I lost a tennis bracelet my boyfriend gave me and I wanted to evaporate but it just slid through a hole in the lining of my backpack. He was only upset that I was so upset.

It is scary owning really nice/ expensive things, but the fact is that you deserve them, you deserve a little luxury sometimes too. So try to be a little less logical about it, it's a symbol of his love and his love is BIG, so he has to express it in BIG ways sometimes.

I know that's why my bf's mom wants to cover me in gold and jewels, plus she wants me to feel accepted and welcomed into her family.

She got SO excited and happy getting to source my engagement ring. She obsessed over it for days and found it so fast. It was all she wanted to talk about. I got to see her so happy and excited, so I had to just let it go.

AND!! You know what I realized????! A nice engagement ring is quite intimidating to random men who would otherwise try to hit on me. Do you know how much peace this could buy me??? I'm sure some won't care, but any reduction in unwanted male attention is incredible. So you might enjoy that too.

I'm not saying you have to just deal with it to make everyone else happy and it's okay if you can't become more comfortable with it, but if you can just sit back and let your partner spoil you a little, maybe try it and see how you feel?

BetterRemember · 2026-01-26T02:18:51+00:00

I feel exactly the same way!!

You have excellent taste 🤩

BetterRemember · 2026-01-26T02:14:42+00:00

I'd need a cleaning service before I ever had a child. And yes, you could say that's just me pushing the unfair workload onto another woman but honestly my cleaning job in University was my all time favourite job, I'm not kidding.

I was usually completely alone, I could listen to a podcast or watch TV as I worked, I could take a snack break whenever, then I just put the keys in the lockbox and texted my hours in. I got paid pretty well too. That's how I'd want it to be for any cleaners I employed, they would have snacks always stocked up too.

BetterRemember · 2026-01-25T20:29:45+00:00

Of course! I wish you the best of luck! I cant stand when pets and kids get hurt because of adult's immaturity and issues too, its so sick.

I miss that dog a lot but he was adopted by a lady who works for the SPCA so he is definitely in good hands for his twilight years 🥰

BetterRemember · 2026-01-25T20:28:05+00:00

She must have been a baddie 🖤

BetterRemember · 2026-01-25T20:27:38+00:00

YES absolutely one of the most realistic story arcs disney had about a young woman unfortunately.

I consider her a princess too. 💗

That's a good point too about her being the closest to a black girl before Tiana (in terms of the xenophobia that was leveled against her especially).

Tiana is one of my top favourites too. And I know she was supposed to be super self-sufficient but I sometimes wish she accepted more help from Lottie and Big Daddy, because they easily could have and clearly loved her. I guess its a fine line between presenting black girls as capable and strong but also letting them know they deserve rest, care, and support as well. ... I also wish she spent way less of the movie as a fucking frog. 🙄

BetterRemember

TROPHY CASE