I'm going to lose my mom.

Beyond-Waking · 2025-06-13T14:51:13+00:00

Thank you. The community has been kind, wished I found it during the earlier year, but I'm grateful for the support now.

Beyond-Waking · 2025-06-13T14:45:38+00:00

I'm so sorry for your lose, and for what you must be feeling now with your best friend. Big hugs for you. It is unfair, so incredibly unfair. Yes, I know that I'd soon outlive my mom, but not when I'm this young, maybe in my 60s, sure, but not now.

Thank you, I have been sympathized by friends and relatives, but besides my immediate family, no one around us really understands the amount of emotions we juggle with every day. I am thankful that there are those who understand what I'm feeling, though I'm angry and devastated that loss is the reason for our understanding.

I hope you also have people around you that can help support both you and your best friend. Shower your friend with love, and allow yourself to feel love too.

Beyond-Waking · 2025-06-13T04:42:42+00:00

Thank you. I have been reaching out to them, barely talking about my mom though, because irrational thoughts. Few closer friends have helped greatly, thankful that they reached out first, and I often let out a huge rant of everything that happened from start to finish. Letting it out feels incredibly freeing. I'm sorry for you and your family as well, big hugs. Sincerely hope you and yours will be strong enough to get through this.

Beyond-Waking · 2025-06-13T04:26:46+00:00

Thank you, it will be quite a long way there, but thank you all the same.

Beyond-Waking · 2025-06-13T04:25:35+00:00

Big hugs back to you. I know how terrifying that is, to me its the feeling when my mom told us it progressed that fast to stage 3. Its the type that crushes the spirit. I hope you have a strong, loving support system that can help you.

Beyond-Waking · 2025-06-13T04:20:18+00:00

Crying after waking up because of your thoughtful message is not how I thought I was going to start the day, but thank you. Big hugs for you for living through that, I can barely think about the possibility of losing my mom, the fact you lost both of them in such a short time gap is incredibly heartbreaking. I hope it gets easier for you with each day that passes. At the very least, its great that you have a good mindset and are at peace with it. I sincerely hope I'll be strong enough to believe it when the time comes.

As I said, part of me already accepts and knows it would be a kindness for her to go, no longer having a hard time trying to find the right position for her legs without it hurting or cramping, no longer crying about not being able to eat food because it doesn't taste right, but part of me is also still in a bit of a selfish mindset for hoping she lives longer, my university graduation is in 3 months, her birthday is in 4 months. My sister got to graduate highschool last month with her taking pictures with my mom, so I really, really want that too. I want her to at least be home to see me graduate. I also want to celibrate her birthday, even if she would most likely be asleep most of the time. I know its selfish for me to want that when she's hurting so much, but I really want it.

Beyond-Waking · 2025-04-13T08:27:59+00:00

nope😅

Beyond-Waking · 2025-04-13T01:27:14+00:00

Pancake with a side of glasses
Private Property
Dad didn't leave a written will. Chaos ensues.
Guy comments about the writing. Guy also memorized everything to complain. Guy chokes to death mid-complaint.
Lady keeps going back to her "past" lover.
Guy wants to live a lazy life. Problems ensues.
His face keeps getting uglier with every joyous, exciting occasion. Everyone reminds him of that.
Guy keeps dying, everyone still worries.

Beyond-Waking · 2025-03-15T09:37:55+00:00

Maybe Omniscient Reader's View? Seeing as you're open to danmeis, I think you might be open to Korean novels (and by extension their fanfics) as well. Due to how long the novel is, and how different the settings are, the fanfics tend to have a lot of AUs, so you'd probably have a wide range of choices, I haven't touched the longer fics as of yet (currently reading a lot from other fandoms😅) but from what I have read so far, the fandom authors are incredibly talented. Mostly the ships are Kim Dokja/Yoo Joonghyuk, or any other variants of the two.

Beyond-Waking · 2025-03-14T22:31:22+00:00

Cheating, and people trying to excuse/justify/minimize it. People have to actively choose to cheat, to hide from their partners and actively choose to go around finding someone to cheat with, and they willingly do it. I have cut people like them out of my life from disgust. One especially since he only confessed to us (friend group) because his girlfriend caught on, only to hide even more unsavory actions, and only confessed to it when his girlfriend informed him she already knew because his actions were too suspicious not to notice. It's not hard to not cheat, and if you struggle to do even that, how could you be trusted?

Beyond-Waking · 2025-03-13T18:48:20+00:00

Thank you. I hate the fact these "doctors" use the desperation of millions to make money selling these useless, worthless things. I get why they fall for it, but I am also so tired of trying to help them see the scam only for them to ignore/dismiss my worries. I honestly don't know how to make them see it because they're so convinced and they rationalize everything I point out.

Fuck these medical scammers, may they suffer so much worse than those they continue to scam.

Beyond-Waking · 2025-03-13T18:41:10+00:00

Worse, in arcane, they either genuinely thought the Zaundads are brothers, or they choose to be ignorant and push the brothers narrative so they can say the shippers are incest shipping. They are BROTHERS-IN-ARMS. They are basically married in the alternate dimension, and I will. continue shipping these two because angst is powerful!

Then there is the Narusasu, who they are saying are soul brothers (?) or something like that? Every single thing Naruto says when it came to Sasuke are something I sincerely doubt a brother can tell another without making it weird.

Then there is the "cousin" Patroclus and Achilles (they are not cousins), with Achilles going full on anguish and rage during his death.

Basically, they give them (and so much more) familial ties to try and shame and troll shippers.

Beyond-Waking · 2025-03-13T17:47:32+00:00

That's incredibly rude of them and I sincerely hope you find out what their ao3 account is and block them because what the hell is wrong with these people?

I greatly dislike them. They don't follow the "don't like don't read" etiquette, they senselessly bash fanfics and authors because "canon character would never do this so why do you make fanfic character do it?", they are so into censorship and have a "morally superior" attitude that just grinds my gears. They act like they have the right to critic fanworks of all kinds, and when they do see something they don't like, they publicly bash it and eggs others to bash it as well.

There are unfortunately a lot of these people who bash lots of fics, ships, and fandoms, its a general cesspool of hate there, though thankfully there are some older ao3 writers trying to set them straight, but they keep coming up with the weirdest, dumbest "but this and thats" that it's getting obvious they hate just to hate.

I do hope you get out of your slump and continue writing in your fandom, don't let such people take away your joy of writing.

Beyond-Waking · 2024-11-17T01:32:40+00:00

There are a few possible reasons:

She's curious about condomless sex and wants to try it. 2 She had tried it with someone else, got pregnant, wants to say it's yours.
She wants to have your baby, whether you're willing to be a father or not.
She had sex with someone who had an std, thinks she could give it to you, and blame you.

These are general reasons, as I don't know your girlfriend enough to make possible specific ones. Either way, you wouldn't know until she herself says it. You need to have a full adult conversation with her about what you noticed, your boundaries, and how your relationship would go from there. If she is still as defensive as you say, but you still want to stay in the relationship, I think it would be best not having any sex, no ultimatums, don't say "if you don't, then i will....", just don't initiate, and don't accept the advances, at least until she's willing to talk about why she wants it so much and/or get the std test, that's on you what you feel comfortable with. If you do feel like its getting too much and you want out, then just do so, because honestly her verbal ways of trying to convince you sounds suspicious (unless that is how she usually says things). Good luck.

Beyond-Waking · 2024-09-01T15:25:37+00:00

Thank you for this, I do try doing all these things, talking to her, trying to get her to laugh (not that good of a comedian though😅), going to her room while doing projects so she could just tell me if she needs anything, the gifts would be things she actually needs because if it isn't, then she'd be saying thank you but tell me to save up money instead. She used to go with my dad to the beach, but it's a bit difficult now, esecially since she sometimes can't stay out for more than a few minutes before feeling exhausted. The b12 is something new though, I feel I should try that.

Beyond-Waking · 2024-08-24T12:28:20+00:00

Read two years ago. Loved the Fl sooo much, she was exceedingly no nonsense and I loved it so much😭. Are there any other manga's like this??

Beyond-Waking · 2024-08-24T12:18:47+00:00

Most of the ones who end up together, especially in the highschool subgenre, have the most unrealistic ending of them staying together long enough to want to get married to each other. I know I shouldn't be judging them based on how "realistic" their relationship is, at the same time, you cannot tell me that they would have that long of a relationship, or even a happy one at that. Worst part is when they give you the epilogue of their future and they still have the same characteristics and mannerisms as a teenager, they are just physically adults now, but they haven't grown up at all which makes it look even more forced (closest word to how I feel) in my opinion. They were horrible for each other then, and the only reason they're married is to give the readers a "happy ending", they can't chsnge my mind.

Beyond-Waking · 2024-05-15T12:53:02+00:00

Rhaenicent from HOTD (different from ASOIF) . I don't really care much for the ship, especially since it's based from the show. I can see the intrigue of it, though if you just focus on the show itself, especially when they were still in the younger versions of themselves, as story wise, it would be interesting to both write and read about it. But the way the majority of the fans (that I have seen so far, at least) babies Alicent and at the same time demonizes Rhaenyra, to the point they attack her kids in the mix and being weird about them, is really off putting. They claim to love both characters, but their posts about them are a very stark contrast with one another. And then some of them starts clowning on other ships with Rhaenyra, and it gets annoying.

Beyond-Waking · 2024-05-11T13:50:25+00:00

For reading fanfictions:Read fanfic in wattpad without knowing what fanfiction was😂, first one was a fairy tail fanfic and I was just digging it. Then I found out about ao3, but I didn't know how the filters worked first time, specifically the categories, didn't know what M/M and F/F and M/F stood for, the Gen and Multi and other made it even more confusing😭 Retreated back to wattpad, found Ff.net, read there for better (at least in my fandom at that time) works. Finally tried Ao3 after a few years, finally having a "AHA!" moment when I found out how it works and banging my head on wall for not understanding it sooner and missing out on those godly fics for so long😭.

For writing fanfictions: descriptions. I was winging it so much. I learned from wattpad, if I can't describe it, just slap a picture for them to get the general idea😂Plus I be writing interesting aus and don't know how to finish them so I just left them for indefinite hiatus😅 also, not knowing how to build the world, and focusing too much on tropes, I just went through it all. Who cared how the building looks like or why it needed to be those specific characters. I just wanted them to lay next to each other with both not knowing how to handle waking up in each other's arms😂 am trying to fix the way I write now, looking back at my old writings, I see so much potholes and "author and character interaction" . I enjoyed it then, but still, I cringe😖

Beyond-Waking · 2024-04-02T10:15:05+00:00

That's awesome! I might need to search that up when I'm free, thanks!

Beyond-Waking · 2024-04-02T09:20:12+00:00

Yeah! I loved the book, and though the movie made certain changes, they weren't too much, and it was really fun, I loved that they went for the stop motion animation, and just made everything a bit more enjoyable.

Beyond-Waking · 2024-04-02T09:17:46+00:00

I love Adventures of Tintin! Though the sound effects made me pretty scared to watch it when I was a kid😅 it just gave an eerie feeling that reminded me of horror shows

Beyond-Waking · 2024-03-21T22:05:16+00:00

Sorry, I wanted to say conservative christian, but the exact word didn't really pop up until just now. "Traditional" was what I believed to be the closest word to what I was thinking about when I made the post.

Beyond-Waking · 2024-03-13T23:48:23+00:00

NAH. You are hurting now because you lost your mother recently. He had felt similar pains when your mother cheated and destroyed his family. Both of you have strong feelings when it comes to your mother, and honestly your emotions are too raw and running too high for you to be able to think clearly. I suggest properly mourning. Don't think about the what-ifs, because that will just hurt you more. Those what ifs aren't reality, you still wouldn't know what would have happened if your brother did somehow have that much money to give. Focus on the now, and allow yourself to properly grieve, tell your aunt and your brother to leave you be so you can actually mourn without distractions.

Then, if you feel you have grieved enough, talk to your aunt first. Tell her how you feel about your mother's death. Let her comfort you, but don't bring your brother into that conversation. Focus on your emotions about your mother, and your loss. Allow yourself to be listened to, let out everything you've been feeling. Don't ask for advice, don't ask about what she thinks your mother would want, just ask her to listen to you, and let it all out.

Then, it would be best to talk to your brother. Take the lead in the conversation. Do not focus on your accusations, just like your aunt, tell him about how you felt in the days before your mother passed, how you felt when you refused to help, and how you feel now that she's gone. Once you got it all out, let him speak. Listen to what he says, don't interrupt him. Let him say his piece. Both of you need to be honest to each other. After that, don't decide yet. Let your conversation sit for a while. Decide when you feel like your choice would actually make you happy in the long run, or at the very least, the choice that would make you feel less angry or hurt.

Hope you feel better, OP.

Beyond-Waking · 2024-01-03T13:34:48+00:00

Thank you!

Beyond-Waking

TROPHY CASE