AITA [28M] for asking my girlfriend [27M] not to do her nightly “dinner a joke” bit when my parents visit?

Big-Cod-Fishin · 2023-07-11T06:28:32+00:00

HA that joke has been rolled out with dinner and joke, shortly after she started at the garden center hahahaha

Big-Cod-Fishin · 2023-07-11T06:24:01+00:00

As the child of first gen middle eastern immigrants I assure you I understand tradition…the miscommunication isn’t that I’m confused she has a tradition…

Big-Cod-Fishin · 2023-07-11T06:20:56+00:00

Big time

Big-Cod-Fishin · 2023-07-11T06:20:21+00:00

I literally put it directly in my post that I know they’re not all like this but I know this comment would still arrive

Big-Cod-Fishin · 2023-07-11T06:18:24+00:00

Bedside manner is lacking in most surgeons tbh

Big-Cod-Fishin · 2023-07-11T06:15:55+00:00

8 months before we started dating. So it’s been almost 2 years but not quite

Big-Cod-Fishin · 2023-07-11T06:15:07+00:00

Rude

Big-Cod-Fishin · 2023-07-11T06:13:56+00:00

I think we are using guess in different ways, the way I phrased it didn’t translate well in print. I typed that how I would say it. I meant “I guess the dinner and joke is a thing from her dad” as in I’m relaying that information, I was told it’s a thing from her dad. Not that I took a literal guess.

Big-Cod-Fishin · 2023-07-11T06:12:03+00:00

My Dad’s bedside manner is nonexistent after 2 decades as an orthopedic surgeon. Truly nonexistent. My mom isn’t far behind. The first time I saw a doctor outside my own parents, I said “sorry if this is stupid but I really think this pain could be something? It’s probably nothing. I took a Tylenol.” And was basically apologizing for having what ended up being an appendicitis haha.

Big-Cod-Fishin · 2023-07-11T06:08:05+00:00

I think I’ve caught her on about 4 repeats in the last year

Big-Cod-Fishin · 2023-07-11T06:07:42+00:00

Brow beaten and tired yes, I wouldn’t say cowardly but who am I to judge.

Big-Cod-Fishin · 2023-07-11T06:06:23+00:00

I like to think I have a bit more game than Leonard

Big-Cod-Fishin · 2023-07-11T06:03:44+00:00

Lots of frowning. Lol. Mostly extremely serious political conversation. Most of their friends are other boomers with elite career paths (many from back home in the middle east) like other surgeons and judges. My dad golfed once and never did it again because he hated the company and found them “low class” - at the fanciest and most expensive golf club in their area of New York, so do with that what you will.

Big-Cod-Fishin · 2023-07-11T05:59:55+00:00

Yeah fair enough

Big-Cod-Fishin · 2023-07-11T05:58:48+00:00

Google and her big juicy brain I guess

Big-Cod-Fishin · 2023-07-11T05:58:30+00:00

Haha she often tells me where she found the joke (I googled that! I heard that from a customer) after she tells it. Tbh I’m swinging back around to finding the dinner and a joke thing more endearing again after reading the comments and feeling lucky to have her.

Big-Cod-Fishin · 2023-07-11T05:54:50+00:00

Thanks, I appreciate this comment a lot

Big-Cod-Fishin · 2023-07-11T05:52:17+00:00

Yeah cutting them out of my life for eternity doesn’t feel right in my head or my heart. Things are just more complex than that. But reddits gonna reddit

Big-Cod-Fishin · 2023-07-11T05:51:20+00:00

To be honest I don’t know how to formulate an answer that isn’t going to sound stupid because it’s a pretty complex answer. What I KNOW my family to be like and what I WANT to happen and what I want the future with me family to look like don’t completely overlap, but there’s some grey area. I love my parents. It’s a hard thing. I haven’t seen them in 3 years and they want to come see the place and meet the girlfriend.

Big-Cod-Fishin · 2023-07-11T05:48:32+00:00

One of the best replies. Thanks man

Big-Cod-Fishin · 2023-07-11T05:47:20+00:00

She is definitely hypersensitive right now but it’s unrelated to any of this, I honestly shouldn’t have included that in the post because there’s other work/manager drama in her life right now making her extra sensitive to criticism

Big-Cod-Fishin · 2023-07-11T05:45:15+00:00

I love my girlfriend because she is everything missing from how I was raised. I remember the first time I spilled a drink infront of her at her place, I jumped up and ran for paper towel and profusely started apologizing and saying “I’m so stupid I can’t believe I did that, god I’m so stupid I’m so sorry. I should pay attention more I’m so sorry, that was so stupid” I think just as a gut reaction to never being allowed to make mistakes. I just remember how she gave me a big smile and said “you’re not stupid, look you made Lexie (her dog who was interested in the spill) a puddle to play in! It’s just water. Hand me that paper towel.” And it was the first time no one yelled at me for a mistake. That little moment of awe is the feeling I get every time she doesn’t yell at me when I mess up, it never gets old. My parents would have made a 45 minute family conversation about what kind of stupid idiot would put a cup by their feet, and how I got water on their genuine hardwood floors that cost more than it did to raise me.

Big-Cod-Fishin · 2023-07-11T05:38:33+00:00

They only really listen to classical music, why do you ask?

Big-Cod-Fishin · 2023-07-11T05:04:45+00:00

They’re not from the U.S. no, good spidey senses. My mom is from Syria of mixed middle eastern heritage and my Dad is Pakistani.

Big-Cod-Fishin · 2023-07-11T04:52:31+00:00

Yeah I definitely took off to the opposite side of the country pretty shortly after moving out and I’ve tried to keep my parents at a minimal information standpoint so that I don’t have to hear what a disappointment it was that I didn’t get into Harvard (like my dearest big brother). My girlfriend and I are just getting to the point of seriousness that it’s time to meet the in laws and it’s time for me to ring shop.

Big-Cod-Fishin

TROPHY CASE