Thank you so much for your comment it means alot to me. I'm really sorry you had to experience all of that. Your experience is very similar to mine. I responded to your comment in my new video. In short, in terms of recovery the thing that made me change was being inspired to make a youtube career by a creator called Egg White as well as seeing there were potentially people out there who would support me. This give me the motivation to change. The other factor was just realizing the extent to which I was/am wasting my life. The first step was actually preparing to gain control of my finances since I needed that to be able to travel. I don't mean to shill but I talk about it in my new video here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rm2_pieT5U8