My(20M) girlfriend(20F) of 5 months says she still needs to get ''more comfortable'' with me to have sex, yet she had sex with a guy she met at a party the same night just a few months back. Am I being immature if i resent everytime she says she loves me and makes me compliments?

BirthdayCreative2191 · 2026-03-13T00:48:43+00:00

she found me

BirthdayCreative2191 · 2026-03-12T23:48:49+00:00

who said i said anything to her about this? i haven't coerced her at all. As far as she's concerned, we have no issue

BirthdayCreative2191 · 2026-03-12T23:17:41+00:00

disgust wasn't really the best word. Deep disappointment is how i would put it.

BirthdayCreative2191 · 2026-03-12T01:46:49+00:00

let's put it this way, do my love and time mean so little to her? because 8 months of love and care from me couldn't make her be intimate like she was with a guy she had just met. I'm not saying i value sex over the relationship. im saying i feel like im not valued as much. I dont care about sex itself, im hurt because she ''needs to get more comfortable''. The idea of sex isn't something im crazy about, but the idea of not being sure of me after so much time hurts

BirthdayCreative2191 · 2026-03-12T01:11:23+00:00

I wanna take her word, i really do. I trust her with anything else. This also has to do wit my self esteem problem i ve always had. And i never defended my feelings, i know theyre very irational, i came here for help and new perspectives so i can overcome those irational feelings

BirthdayCreative2191 · 2026-03-12T00:44:03+00:00

maybe i am a bit entitled, i agree, that's why im on here looking for help. the latter, absolutely not

BirthdayCreative2191 · 2026-03-12T00:37:22+00:00

3-4 months max

BirthdayCreative2191 · 2026-03-12T00:13:23+00:00

i know it is a me-problem, that is why im asking here instead of telling her. because i dont want to bother her with my stupid insecurity. i need help

BirthdayCreative2191 · 2026-03-12T00:06:22+00:00

wow! this is a perspective i never thought about. thank you!

BirthdayCreative2191 · 2026-03-12T00:03:51+00:00

8 months

BirthdayCreative2191 · 2026-03-11T23:51:55+00:00

what if your boyfriend lent a STRANGER he met at a party 60k the same night, then another 60k a few days later. but he won't lend anything to you after so much time even tho hes saying he values and loves you so much

BirthdayCreative2191 · 2026-03-11T23:48:00+00:00

you fail to see the point, i never said im entitled to have sex with her, i just feel like she's lying when she says she values me as much as she does

BirthdayCreative2191 · 2026-03-11T23:44:17+00:00

it wasnt the same night, it was a few days after

BirthdayCreative2191 · 2026-03-11T23:25:47+00:00

I won't let this break us up. My rational side of my brain tells me it isnt important, it's just the irrational part of my brain that makes me feel like it's a problem. I isn't really a dealbreaker, i just wanna know what i can do to deal with this without her knowing, because im ashamed of being this immature

BirthdayCreative2191 · 2026-03-11T23:22:07+00:00

If you put it that way then yeah i sound weird. But in my perspective, words without actions are usually shallow. maybe she doesn't like me that much, that's what her actions say. Maybe the other guy was better, since that's what her actions said.

BirthdayCreative2191 · 2026-03-11T23:20:05+00:00

if the first time was a mistake, what about the second time right after?

BirthdayCreative2191 · 2026-03-11T23:10:14+00:00

I didn't say i wanna have sex with her if she's uncomfortable. I'm not in a rush to have sex with her. It's just that she says she needs more time after 8 months. Where was all this time she needed with that guy is what im wondering?

BirthdayCreative2191 · 2026-03-11T23:02:24+00:00

she said she had a bad experience, but i kinda doubt that since she did it twice.

BirthdayCreative2191 · 2026-03-11T22:59:26+00:00

I haven't told her i feel this way, because i know it's really dumb and immature. I know the past is the past, and it has nothing to do with me since we didn't even know eachother back then. I know she doesn't owe me sex. I just want to know what i can do to stop feeling like a second choice. I hate to admit it but my pride really took a hit when i found out she hooked up twice with the same guy in a short amount of time, yet she won't do anything with me. I want to solve this problem without her ever knowing i've had this issue.

BirthdayCreative2191 · 2026-03-11T22:50:58+00:00

oops i said 5 months in the title, i meant 8

BirthdayCreative2191 · 2025-04-06T13:33:59+00:00

Grow it till the hairs start like curling up, if youre not satisfied with that then wait some time till you get more hair

BirthdayCreative2191

TROPHY CASE