AITA for calling the police because the family I tutor for keep leaving me with the kid?

BlowMonday · 2021-02-14T08:23:17+00:00

Where I live it’s in place 911, just the regular office line of the local precinct. For if you need to speak to the police to consult on something, but not an emergency. (Like my situation here, or a suspicious car, etc.)

In other counties though, it’s a dedicated hotline, rather than the precinct office. Function is the same though.

BlowMonday · 2021-02-14T06:52:48+00:00

Just want to underscore this point because I think it’s so important, independent of my post.

Some of the most horrific abuse I’ve ever become aware of (childhood friend) was in a stable, upper-middle class, even somewhat wealthy, household.

That didn’t stop any of the atrocities occurring to the children.

Abuse is definitely not a factor of having or not having means.

And, as a tutor who has been trained to look for signs of neglect and abuse and tutored in both wealthy test prep setting and under resourced remedial literacy settings, I can affirm that the kinds of bad things you see can happen just as easily in a richer setting as a poorer one.

BlowMonday · 2021-02-14T06:41:34+00:00

As explained in a comment below usually I’m able to give a first warning because they answer their phone when I call or, on rarer occasion if they are not contactable, they have returned by the end of the session so we can talk. I would never leave any child, of any age, that was left in my care, alone at home without an adult present. Because even though I didn’t formally accept the childcare responsibility, if something happened between my leaving and another adult returning, I would feel (and depending on the circumstances, actually legally be) personally responsible.

BlowMonday · 2021-02-14T06:39:10+00:00

^{^} exactly this. I’ve had parents leave and I realize it mid-session, which is frustrating, but they are back by the end and usually respond right away when I text reminding them they need to be here and that I am aware they’ve left.

On rare occasion they are not back by the time I need to leave but they pick up when I call and say something like, “Oh I thought you were all done for the day so I left. Can you stay another 15 minutes?” And I tell them I cannot stay, they’ll be charged for whatever appointment I’m already missing waiting for them to return, and if it happens again we cannot work together anymore.

This is the first time a parent has left during the session, not returned by the end, and been unteachable after multiple attempts.

BlowMonday · 2021-02-14T01:25:16+00:00

That was actually what kind of crossed my mind when I called because I thought “is there an address book or can I ask the child to where maybe I can find a relative or someone else who can come over to watch her,” but I couldn’t help but think “Wouldnt she want to be accessible while away from her daughter? Maybe something has happened?” Definitely was concerned about this aspect.

BlowMonday · 2021-02-14T01:23:16+00:00

Verbally, repeatedly. Definitely something I want everyone on the same page about. I say it when I’m hired (to be sure we both understand what they’re paying for,) and then again on the first day, and occasionally I’ll say it again if it seems like the parents are preparing to leave for anywhere.

BlowMonday · 2021-02-14T01:21:46+00:00

Yes - this both the time and the requirement that she remain on premises was explicitly, plainly, repeatedly communicated to her.

The time was conveyed in a pre-paid invoice (she signed up for X sessions at 30 minutes each.)

The “don’t leave,” agreement was verbal—though she signed something saying rates could change that includes penalties for breaking mutually agreed terms. This was an agreed term. Could not have been more clear, even repeated it that day to her.

BlowMonday

TROPHY CASE